Looking through very old blogposts trying to find the one about the swimming pool and the vomit (don’t ask) and came across this gem.
It made me stop and think. It’s over 5 years since I wrote that. I’m still hopeless at cuddling my children. Still utterly disorganised. Possibly even more paralysed by future fear than I was then (surely it ought to decrease as we’ve less uture before us iyswim, not increase??) and certainly no nearer knowing what I want to be when I grow up.
I overthink, I know that. Always terrified of making the wrong decision, I end up making no decision at all. But I’m frittering my life away, and wasting my children’s childhood worrying, and it’s no good.
A little while back I posted about making changes. I’ve been partially successful. My running is going reasonably well, although last week I struggled to fit it in, so this morning I went back to start from scratch again. But I’ve fallen by the wayside with the morning pages, I just can’t get that 20 minutes of uninterrupted time in the house with baby, children and twitter all calling to me.
(Yes, I know willpower is the problem with the last one, but the other two are a bit more difficult.)
So I’m trying to be differently creative, mainly with a camera. Which is working quite well, I have a few pics I’m quite pleased with, although obviously I also have lots that I’m slightly frustrated with. I’d also like to fit in some drawing/painting/yarn work but that will depend on some other goals happening first.
The main priority has to be to declutter. Declutter the house a room at a time, declutter my mind. I’ve got so much backed up that I need to do that I just have to get on with it. And through it all I have to remember my priorities. My health and fitness, both physical and mental have to come first – I cannot have a healthy happy family if I’m not healthy and happy in looking after them. Then the family are the priority – home cooking, tidy house (!) and education, education, education lol. After that, it’s work – I’m not happy without something of mine to build a little independence. I just can’t do it, I’m too used to working and whether it be right or wrong, I see myself from that viewpoint.
One of the things that has been cluttering my mind is the need to put a badge on this type of post so that anyone else who wants to can join in too. So I’ve just taken half an hour out to be creative and make a badge, I hope you like it.
These are my liveotherwise posts – I’d love your support as I try to make changes I feel I need, and I’d love to support you in doing similarly. Please feel free to copy the badge – I’ll do one of those funky things with a link back later, but now I need to shop – and share, and drop a comment or trackback on the post to tell me what you are up to.
Amanda says
Seems to be the theme of the moment. Have several friends who’ve either ebayed or otherwise flogged everything not stapled down in their homes in the last month. Seems to have done them good and they have cash to show for it all! I have a growing pile of ‘stuff’ I know we don’t need or want or fit in any more, but not quite sure what to do with it. Too good to freegle, but no time/energy/iinclination to ebay it all either. The pile just grows!
Be kind to yourself 🙂 Babies (and sadly older kids too!) require lots of time/attention, I never thought I’d manage to hang the washing on the line again. Littlest is 18mths old, and I’m just starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel 😉
.-= Amanda´s last blog ..The highs of HE =-.
Jax says
@Amanda thanks for commenting. These things do go in phases don’t they? Ebay is an energy drain, I wince every time I think of doing it. Need to bite the bullet though.
Daddybean says
When it comes to not feeling we have enough time to do things (and sometimes we genuinely don’t) I think we need to try to be honest about just how much time we fritter away.
Whether it’s just a quick read of that article in the paper – whiuch turns into reading half of the paper. Or a quick 10 minutes on the ‘puter (there is no such thing, minimum time on the computer seems to be at least half an hour on a good day…) the time just trickles through or fingers…..
and then we sit down and think, i’ve not time to do x and y.
.-= Daddybean´s last blog ..gotta get movin’ ! =-.
Jax says
@Daddybean I do know what you mean. The computer is my downfall, and it’s getting worse as I’m trying to do things which are sort of work (reviews and so on) as I feel I have to be out there as it were, and therefore am spending even more time on twitter! Still, I will find a balance with it somehow.
Time does trickle though, even when I’m trying to be organised. Baby cuddles are important and need to happen after all 🙂
Stuart says
I’ve been accused of overthinking. Makes me wonder if the accuser is underthinking! 🙂
Our blogpost is more about knuckling under than decluttering, but your badge inspired it, and we learned some new things doing it.
Hope you like it.
http://alternicity.blogspot.com/2010/10/still-work-in-progress-here.html
Jax says
I love it!
HelenHaricot says
maybe you need to write a programme that will automatically retweet 1/4 random friends tweets, and every 15 mins 1 of 100 preprogrammed messages 🙂
.-= HelenHaricot´s last blog ..By- Life is a Highway – it’s the journey- not the destination – 101010 – October – 2010 =-.