Making it up

What do you think?!

But fairly quickly, as I do want to get some chores done tonight so that they aren’t waiting for me in the morning. So it’ll be a bit stream of consciousness I’m afraid, as there’s a few things batting around my head I want to get out.

First of all, there’s a poem, possibly a native indian thing, about “Look to this day” and I’ve always loved it. Read it again the other day on someone’s blog, and started to think about it some more. How does it work? What does it mean? You can’t live today as if there isn’t a tomorrow, or tomorrow might end up being a hungry day - you didn’t plant the food or harvest it… if you don’t exercise today it won’t harm you today, but you’ll be a slob in a few years time, so it can’t mean that kind of thing. I know, I know, I’m not making any sense. It’s just I think I’ve been living too much worrying about the future, but not actually dealing with it, so my todays have been overshadowed, and my tomorrows not improved. Changing now.

And little angels. Ooh, tonight’s little boy and situation looked familiar. The prescription was that the mother was overparenting - there was no fun between her and her son any more. I recognise that. And so as I went past Big’s room tonight while she was still playing, I went in and gave her a kiss goodnight. She said today that I rarely kiss her, and it’s true, I just don’t think to do it. Physical affection doesn’t come naturally to me, it just doesn’t occur to me, and I think it’s causing us a problem. Need more fun and laughter.

And conversely, more education. Big has been thrilled over the last couple of days when I’ve given her worksheets to do. And I’ve sat down and played games with her. Small has taken to drawing pictures and bringing them to me - I must respond to this too, as it makes him so happy. Don’t find it difficult to cuddle him yet, he’s still baby to me. Got to pull that back for Big, and find some fun for myself.

Today is a day.

I’ll blog the actual events of today tomorrow, or maybe just write it up for a website somewhere - our group was excellent today, lots of material for ongoing projects. Anyone know how to fold a girl in a kimono?

Took ages to get Small to go to bed - nearly midnight before he passed out. He was very cute throughout, which was endearing and annoying all at once - particularly like the drawing me pictures and coming over to show them to me. I think he might have called Tim’s brother as well. Oops.

Found the paperwork that I was looking for, but either part of it never came, or I didn’t file it in the same place, so I don’t have everything I need to do the submission online. Going to have to do it snailmail tomorrow. Tried to have a game of Set at highergames, and the person I was playing wandered off midgame and played someone else! That was rather annoying.

So having had a less than amusing evening to follow my less than amusing day, I think I’d better call it quits and hope for some sleep.

Struggling to get myself motivated today, not helped by Tim having to retire to bed with flu and grumpy children. Quite surprised that we’ve managed to be educational in and amongst the grumps - Big and I played mancala online and then after a confusing conversation as to whether there is a little man in the computer playing against her (?!) we made ourselves a set out of cardboard and coins and played three games. Despite her gazing at the tv and eating sweets and having to be reminded as to when it was her turn, she beat me two games out of three. Not sure how that happened.

Also sat her down with the first page of a maths assessment - purely curiosity on my part, and very soon I’d run out of steam for it. Well, when she told me that 3 + 7 = 7, after I’d patiently explained several times that I didn’t think it did, I didn’t have a great stock of patience left

Did manage to do washing up and washing, and tidied the floor so many times that I lost count - not that you can tell. Small is a one child destruction team!

Teatime was very disastrous - I served up pasta bake with broccoli and cauliflower and Small took one look and screamed. I wouldn’t mind if he hadn’t liked it before, but it’s been one of the safest meals in my repertoire. Big didn’t eat much either - I think we’re still recovering from the hols tbh. Then Small fell asleep in his chair while she’d gone up for a bath, so I woke him to feed him and tried to sneak him to bed. Unfortunately though, Big was having a massive tantrum at this point - not quite sure what about, something to do with shampoo. So that woke him up, and he wouldn’t (and still hasn’t) gone back to sleep.

She ended up in bed without a story, and I still haven’t found my paperwork or done any work. Small has just been horrendously (though normally ) smelly so I’m hoping a nappy change and I might be able to convince him it’s bedtime. Wish me luck.

So am I justified in being in a bad mood, when I go to the trouble of making a mancala game out of cardboard and coins, and Big then beats me two out of three while having to be reminded it’s her turn because she’s too busy staring at the tv and eating sweets?

Humph.

Off to do the washing and paperwork instead. Wonder if I should get dressed?

Beware, way tmi follows.

If I could pick any week to go to Centerparcs, I’d try to avoid my period, and any chance of the children being ill. No? I guess not then. On Monday, Small had a very horrid nappy - necessitated application of antibacterial spray to the sofa. I thought it was a one off - how wrong could I be. Poor little soul - he spend two days doing horrid things of that type, while Tim and I took shifts to get Big into the pool, and tried not to take him too near any other children. Although I figured that it couldn’t have been anything too contagious, as none of the rest of us had it. And I asked before I took him round to Chris and Alison’s on Tues evening.

Very glad that everyone was OK with us going - it was a lovely evening. Big got to watch videos, Small pottered and later on there was karaoke. Piccies over at Sarah’s

Wednesday, the nappies stopped, although I continued with my aggressive use of Carex antibacterial handwash (washed all sorts of things with it - and my hands so many times that I don’t have skin on the back of my knuckles any more ), and Small slept. Boy did he sleep. He woke up every couple of hours for a drink or snack, but was generally only awake for minutes before flaking out wherever he happened to be - the floor, the bath, someone’s knee. I was grateful for once for the extended breastfeeding - although he has been down to one feed a day for ages, when he needed it we bumped up the frequency. Could have done without the 2.30 am one though. I got to take Big swimming - somehow lost track of time and we were there for 2 1/2 hours. Spent a bit of time with Layla and co, which was nice

Evening, and Big went along to games at the Puddles. I joined a bit later on - had a game of Set with Tilda (she’s rather good at that!) and watched Big playing Mastermind and Cluedo. Impressed at how well she picked up mastermind - might have to get our set out. Oh, and I nearly forgot the game I bought for the extra time we ended up spending in the chalet. Called Make n Break and we like it a lot. Although I think it’s rather overstating the minimum age…there’s a way of playing it to even out the abilities a bit - experts get more difficult cards and only score one point per card, and Big beat me hands down when we played it that way. *And* my head hurt

Thursday - Small seemed much better. Tim’s brother and niece came over to join us, and we all went swimming for a bit - well, Small just played in the toddler pool. Was the first time that I saw a few ppl in the pool area, which was rather a shame - it had been pretty much my plan to spend the week there. Best laid plans and all that. Tim and I did manage a few minutes on our own to go down the rapids in the dark, which was entertaining. Not least as I couldn’t read the instructions as to which way you had to be going when…partly because of my lack of eyesight and partly because I was underwater quite a lot of the time Was amused when two of the smaller ppl who shot past turned out to be small porticos and clarkes….

Thursday evening the rest of Tim’s brother’s family turned up and we had a takeout, so we didn’t get to go round to Layla’s. We did join with most ppl for bowling on Friday morning (Small thought that was excellent - and he was pretty much himself by then as well). There was time for another swim as well - whole family in the big pool together for the first time. Small loves the water, and Big improved hugely this week. So much so that she has decided she doesn’t need any more swimming lessons. Hohum. And after we’d swum, we piled in the car and went over to Felixstowe to see Grandfather.

Small was completely revived by a nap on the way over, allowing him to be a little so and so once we were there. He even managed to wipe out one of Grandfather’s china frogs, at which point I found his coat and walked him over to David and Sally’s. As I’d hoped, there were more child friendly amusements about, not least Gina’s laptop, set up as a jukebox with fractal type screensaver. Kept him quiet for ages!

We had dinner, and finally left about 9, so with a stop for petrol, we didn’t make it home til nearly 1 this morning. Time confused children meant that they didn’t get up til 10 this morning, and we’d no food in the house to speak of. Tim appears to have gone down with some kind of cold bug, so he’s lying about feeling sorry for himself, and I’m feeling more than a little dazed and confused. Now, do I try to dig out the urgent paperwork tonight - or do I veg and run around frantically in the morning? Decisions, decisions…

just

So not going to blog - just apologise that I haven’t been round and reset everyone, ‘cos I haven’t sorted out my puter yet, and can’t remember the password to get at the ring!

See you in the morning.

which I think we’ve earned

Big helped to pack her gear for the week, and I got a couple of loads of washing done. Sorted out some clothes that can go to smaller girls and free up some wardrobe space in our room - I really am a complete packrat. Mind, Kris had some theories about that, to do with having to move so many times as a child, and so often my things just disappearing in the process. Makes me want to hold on to everything now, just in case - sounds about right to me.

Well, it’s 11 pm, and I’m not going to get a lot done now am I? Didn’t go out to get hot chocolate, but I’ve got a couple of emergency packs in the cupboard that can be made up with milk, so I think I’ll treat myself.

Small has been a bit of a pest today - I suspect he’s behaving like the average toddler, into everything, pulling stuff down, drawing on the floor and so on. But Big didn’t do any of it, could be reasoned with from an early age, and so it’s probably even more of a shock than if we’d had a first child who behaved that way. We did have a bit of a breakthrough while he was having his second bath of the day though - I signed duck to him and quacked - and he made quacking noises back! Very bashful about it though - I get the impression that he wants to get it absolutely right, doesn’t like making an attempt at anything and not succeeding straight off, which is what is behind the reluctance to speak. Ever so cute though.

Apart from that I’m rather struggling for focus today and with this post, so I think I’ll go finish off the kitchen, make myself a list and go to bed, setting the alarm to go off nice and early. Might pop in in the morning, if not, see you all very soon.

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Hmm.

it’s been a long day.

I seriously considered not bothering going to swimming this morning, but Big was adamant she wanted to, even after I explained the timetable in detail. Maybe she doesn’t get tight timescales though - I’m fairly sure she tells the time better than she lets on, but I’m not sure she sequences the hours in the day all that well.

Anyway, we belted off to do some shopping on the way, and got to swimming just nicely on time. Small seemed reasonably happy to sit on the windowledge with a box of raisins, which is an improvement on his attitude the last couple of weeks, and Big started really well in her lesson, managing to swim on her back with two floats, a bit stop start, but a very good attempt. Lots of encouragement from me, but I have noticed that the teacher has a very different attitude this term to last - she either had a very bad christmas, or she is expecting rather more from this group. I have also noticed that they mainly seem to be rather larger than Big, and given that she is very tall for her age, I’m wondering if they are quite a bit older.

She managed once or twice with the one float, then something suddenly went wrong. It had something to do with actually getting on to her back to do the swimming - I didn’t see anything horrid happen but she was in absolute hysterics. The teacher spent a couple of minutes trying to calm her down and persuade her to have another go, but she wasn’t having any of it. I thought we were best to just quit while we were ahead - I thought she’d done very well, and we could use the extra ten minutes. But I was too late, she was already well into the cycle of hysterical tantrum, and I had to blackmail her out of the pool, frogmarch her through the shower and dry and dress her myself, all with screaming and shouting throughout. Met another mother who said she’d gone through exactly the same thing and ended up dropping lessons for a year - I don’t want to do that, but many more of these performances and I will.

Anyway, back home for a very quick lunch, and only 15 minutes late into Sheffield. Met Barbara and Kris in the carpark, and Jan was waiting in the foyer. I’ve got to commend the Lyceum - Barbara had called to ask if we could bring a cake, and they gave us use of a private function room for the entire afternoon. Proved very useful for small girls to run around manically during the intervals, so that they were able to sit/kneel/stand fairly quietly during the drama.

Kris’s D was absolutely rapt throughout, Jan’s C, pretty similar. E seemed reasonably fascinated, although Big sitting next to her proved too much of a distraction. In fact, Big was easily the most distractible of them all, which surprised me a bit - I’d expected her to be blown away by it. But she was expecting Barbie on stage - I think maybe I hadn’t prepared her well enough. I enjoyed it though - heathen that I am I wasn’t aware of how good it was, although Kris tells me it was excellent

Jan and C came back here for some tea, and Jan relieved me of a few books. Not nearly enough in Tim’s opinion, but it’s a start. Also lovely to come home to a clean and tidy kitchen!

And to celebrate, I’ve done nothing tonight but chat. Which was rather silly, given how much I’ve got to do. Going to bed now though.

and it’s going to be few and far between for a little while.

Yesterday, Sarah came over with Dino and brought lunch - you can read all about it here. She does neglect to say that we spent most of our time doing a lyrics quiz

Last night managed to polish off a few little jobs, although got quite a bit outstanding that needs to be shifted before I go away. And today is the ballet trip. Big has got her swimming lesson beforehand - thinking more and more that we could have skipped that as we’re going to be spending most of this next week in a swimming pool, so I’ll see how we’re doing for time when we’ve done our bits of shopping.

Right, need a cup of tea first!

Apparently, they are looking for a new Bond. The front runner is Huge Jack, man. Or someone like that.

Over at Movie Gazette , I am runnng a poll and my personal favourite for the role is doing very well, I am pleased to say.

BBC NEWS | Education | Head scraps homework ‘dinosaur’
“Its website says that in its pilot phase, children who followed the alternative curriculum in Year Seven performed “significantly better” in national maths and English tests than those who followed a traditional curriculum and that their behaviour was also better.”

Home education in schools then?

Big came up with a great question on the way back from ballet. She was given a Sea Monkeys set for her birthday, and she’s desperate to get it started, although I’ve said it would be better to wait until after we’ve been to our two hols. Anyway, she is musing about how they got into the eggs, and I suggested perhaps their mummies laid eggs.

“But how did the first mummy get in the first egg?” I told her that was a good question, and rather depended on how you thought it all worked at the start of everything (we’ve discussed evolution and creation in very basic terms).

“I wonder how the first mummy came out of the first tummy too?”

Wow, a child philosopher!

Started the day with shopping - made a trip to our local retail park and managed to acquire suit and shirt at TKMaxx, suit at £49.99, bargain! Unfortunately size 14, and I seem to be on my way down out of that size, so I’m not sure how long it’s going to be terribly useful…had to go into the main part of the shopping mall for shoes though, as size 6 1/2 to 7 would appear to be hugely over popular in TKMaxx - ie they had pretty much none left.

Back home where Sarah had arrived and was having some kind of business brainstorm session with Tim - as you need a brain for one of those and mine was conspicuously absent, I retired to a corner with a java primer book in the vain hope I could somehow reinsert all java knowledge back into my brain. Then I did sandwiches and Tim got organised and went off for his osteopath appt, I got togged up and set off for my interview, leaving all the kids with Sarah. That’s two days running I’ve managed to part from Small now, still feels odd though.

Really glad that I managed to leave with an extra 20 mins to spare, as the directions I’d been sent had included a right turn at a roundabout that no longer exists. Love it when that happens. And then it got kind of wet and windy, and I really wished I’d worn a coat…

Never mind. Got there on time, if slightly windswept and had five minutes in reception to recover and drip dry slightly. Then off for the tech test. The 10 or so broad based Java questions I’d been led to expect by the agency were actually 12 questions on all the possible technologies I could be using - scream! Which meant that for several of them I wrote - I don’t know, I would look it up I think there were only 3 Java questions, and I could only answer 1 of them.

The interview itself seemed to go reasonably well. I think that I might be too honest though - they asked things like where do you see yourself in 5 years time, and I said, technically improved, but still working in programming, I’ve no desires to get into management. The HR woman said “your chair’s safe then” to the guy I used to work with, and he said it was refreshing to have somebody say something other than “your job”. I also made him laugh when he asked a question that I didn’t have an immediate answer to - my response was “that’s a really good question” to which he said “and that’s a really good answer”. I’m never sure whether that kind of humour in an interview is a good sign though.

I won’t find out the results of the interview until at the earliest a week tomorrow - they fitted my interview in at two days notice as I’m away next week when they’ve planned the rest of them. Can I hope the fact that they rearranged to see me is a good sign? Tim reckons that they tend to decide pretty much before they actually interview.

Oh, and they’ve never asked for references - what should I make of that?

Anyway, rather scenic trip through lesser known parts of Sheffield trying to get home. Turned left at one point - no sign saying I couldn’t, to find No Entry written across the road. No road signs or anything - aargh. Three point turn during which the gearbox played up in the old way - first time for ages. Marvellous. Trip out in the rush hour, made me realise how much I don’t miss it - and met Tim at ballet.

Home, tea (very late), bath (unpleasant incident in the bath - definitely putting Small in swim nappies for cp!), another bath, and children to bed.

Now must try to work out what I need to do so that I can go on holiday for a few days without feeling guilty while I do it…

According to The Register “Scientists at Okayama University in Japan have rather agreeably discovered that unidentified compounds in lager and stout may help to prevent DNA damage leading to cancer.”

Yayyy!!!!

in case there is anyone else out there as utterly misguided as me. Don’t try to go shopping and for a haircut with two small children, not when the shopping and haircut are kind of time critical.

It’s been a long day. Started this morning with Big deciding that today, the day we had an hour to get out of the house with an extra child, would be the day she refused to go downstairs. Marvellous. Then I somehow contrived to trip myself up and crash headlong into a door, ripping a toenail and giving myself an almighty headache. Although I might have had the headache anyway - Small did not sleep well last night, and when Small doesn’t sleep well, he likes to share.

Dropped him off with Barbara - asked him if he wanted to play with B and got a very happy and emphatic head nod, so was quite pleased with that. Made it into Sheffield to the museum only about 5 mins late, which is some kind of record for me. Big took a while to come round despite Janet’s best efforts - it was nice to catch up with several of the Sheffield crowd that I haven’t seen for a while, since starting to attend Chesterfield more regularly. Once E and Big warmed up they had a great time - the museum is wonderful and the caretaker very laid back about the children getting involved and roleplaying in the various little shops. Then she led a washday activity complete with poshers and dollies, mangle and (not) hot flat irons.

And then we had lunch

Barbara met me outside the museum to do a child exchange - much to E’s disgust - she wanted to take Big home with her, but I thought 48 hours together was probably enough. I probably should have let her go - as mentioned above the rest of the trip out was remarkably unsuccessful, and I’m going to have to nip out to TKMaxx in the morning and hope they have some clothes there. I did manage to buy myself a book on Java Web Services for £5 though - do I really think I can read and absorb it tonight? Maybe not.

Primelocation

Anyone got a spare million or so to set up a cohousing intentional community then?

Was that a pile of tosh or what?

Leading questions (we’re going to dress you up as a dad - now how do you behave?), odd interpretations of results (when Big plays mummy and daddy she is manifestly not pretending to be me or Tim - we’ve talked to her about it, it’s a game!) prejudice, half of the story - and followed up by the news and the comment that mothers who withhold access to their children might be given curfew orders or community service. Might I enquire what is going to be done to parents who don’t attempt to maintain contact?

Anyway, I think I’ll watch next weeks as it’s about school - that should be good for raising the blood pressure and then give up on it. Pop pyschology, manipulative science, and truly disappointing.

And the rest of my day? Barbara brought back a daughter for me, and left me one of hers The girls played reasonably well together, but Big wasn’t on her best behaviour and they got more and more excited despite my attempts to head it off - until Small got caught up in the backlash and knocked over on the wooden floor. Ouch.

So then it was bath and bed, and they were all asleep by 8.10 which is some kind of record. I have to be out of the house pretty early in the morning, so I’m not going to be up much longer myself. We won’t be taking a particularly authentic victorian packed lunch I don’t think - can’t think what I can do for drinks! Not sure how long we’ll stay at the museum anyway - I’m going to have to beetle off to Meadowhall afterwards to get clothes and see if I can get my hair cut for this interview. Better go do a bit more revision before bed.

last night, to blog.

Was chatting with Kris and somehow we got onto the topic of intentional communities - I went for a wander around all sorts of websites [Edited to add link for Claire] I’d never seen before! I couldn’t really do the big house commune though - alright for a holiday (really looking forward to Melrose ) but I do need my own space some of the time. But an own front door, little village type of place - plenty of communal space for all sorts of activities, communal growing efforts, workshops…hey, dreaming is free

Anyway, back to real life. I’ve just had the agency chap on the phone with an interview date - slap bang in the middle of the hols I *told* him about first time I spoke to him. And it’s the worst of both worlds interview wise - incorporates a tech test which will require an in depth knowledge of the basics of java, plus a 1 hour interview with two techy guys who’ll want to know about the more involved bits, so I can’t get away with minimising my revision, I need to know it all. And I don’t have any clothes that fit me (bother pregnancy!) and I desperately need a haircut…

So let’s talk about more pleasant things. Yesterday was great. More or less got myself organised to assist Big in making a birthday present for Barbara’s E, although I desperately need to work on my time estimation skills. I was thinking an hour tops - 2 1/2 hours later and we were running late. Hohum. Still, somehow only half an hour late as we got to the hall, where we were doing wool type things. I hadn’t made the cardboard looms, but that turned out not to be so horrendous as children wandered in and out of various activities and got involved in all aspects. Kris’s spinning wheel went down really well, as did Jayne’s musical instruments. Although it was a noisy session, it seemed to be pretty much amiable throughout, with just the normal sharing toy type traumas.

Ooh, it’s snowing again

Finished the sesh off by reading a book about Arachne to the children while parents started tidying. Then the children mucked in with the tidying, which I thought was great as well. Somehow the sit down for a story put enough of a natural break into the proceedings that none of them seemed too upset by the idea it was pretty much over. And we had so many resources between us around this topic that we didn’t get near to using that I think we’ll be coming back to it very soon

Then went back to Barbara’s to drop Big off for an overnight stay - ended up stopping and cooking tea Usual chats in and around on home education and maths, wonder how that happens then? Barbara is delivering Big back after lunch today, and leaving E with us overnight, then we’ve got a day out at a Heritage museum tomorrow so we’re sharing childcare then too.

Interrupted by the phone…double aargh…my interview is Thurs afternoon! Off to find my java books…

Essential wear for ring bearers, I would have thought.

A serious history link too, a digitisation of the history of ‘merry’ London costerfolk from the 19th Century.