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When I am Supreme Leader

—

by

Tim
in

I will be enacting a few new laws.

  • All sinks and baths will be required to have the hot tap on the right and the cold tap on the left.
  • All houses will be required to display their number in such a way that it is visible to all passers by, whether on foot or in a car.
  • Delivery drivers who tap inaudibly at the door, stick a scruffy, illegible card through the letterbox and run will be summarily executed.
  • People who delete my blog posts while cleaning out mobile blog spam will by sent to the Gulag and spend the rest of their days trying to figure out how to use Textpattern.

T-Bird. Don’t worry, even though your comment vanished when Jax ****ed the previous version of this post, your name is still on the list.

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Comments

16 responses to “When I am Supreme Leader”

  1. Sarah avatar
    Sarah

    ha ha I like the fourth one.

    Reply
  2. Sarah avatar
    Sarah

    And I can comment 🙂

    Reply
  3. Nic avatar
    Nic

    Ah – it’s letting me comment now 🙂

    Reply
  4. Michelle avatar
    Michelle

    “hot tap on the right and the cold tap on the left” You are so mistaken. It should be the hot tap on the left and the cold tap on the right.

    Reply
  5. Tim avatar
    Tim

    You are going on the list too.

    Reply
  6. Chris avatar
    Chris

    I love the ‘when’ rather than the ‘if’. You’d better put your skates on.
    Hot tap should be the right.

    Reply
  7. Kirsty avatar
    Kirsty

    Happy Birthday Tim!

    Reply
  8. Tim avatar
    Tim

    Thanks Kirsty.
    Chris, Saga louts don’t usually wear skates, but I will try anything if you think it will help.

    Reply
  9. t-bird anni avatar
    t-bird anni

    see? not just me who KNOWS taht the cold tap should be on the right then!

    Reply
  10. Tim avatar
    Tim

    Tut. That labour camp is going to be so darn BIG.

    Reply
  11. Marcus avatar
    Marcus

    I’m sorry but Michelle is right – it’s Hot on the left and Cold on the right.
    As for being put on the list, if enough of us stand up to this tyranny we can start a revolution!

    Reply
  12. Tim avatar
    Tim

    No. You have had your chance, there were regs, no-one paid attention. Bloody subversive, that’s what you are.

    Reply
  13. Bob avatar
    Bob

    For tap placement, and many other things, check out Donald Norman‘s book Design / Psychology of Everyday Things.
    I can’t remember which side of the argument he comes down on, but that could be irrelevant as he’s American and they (and most of the rest of the world) drive on the wrong side of the road so don’t count.
    Can you add people who spell laser as lazer *shudder* to your list? It’s not cool, it’s wrong: Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation.
    Surely when you’re supreme ruler all taps will issue water only at the temperature you desire, so there will be only one tap?

    Reply
  14. Tim avatar
    Tim

    You see, you others, (Oi, Marcus – are you listening?), this is a right thinking sort of person.
    Firstly, he regards Americans and most of the rest of the world as irrelevant (what a guy), secondly he is coming up with useful new laws, in fact, I think I will add that one about lasers to the list, along with proper use of the subjunctive. Be afraid!
    Bob, I think the solution is to appoint you as my personal tap operator and toilet flusher, then I can be certain that water will always be as required.

    Reply
  15. Marcus avatar
    Marcus

    I don’t like drinking warm water.

    Reply
  16. Bob avatar
    Bob

    “Bob, I think the solution is to appoint you as my personal tap operator and toilet flusher, then I can be certain that water will always be as required.”
    I know my station. If everyone knew their station, the world would be a much more Victorian place.

    Reply

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