I understand that children of around a year old need about 14 hours sleep. I wish someone would explain that to my 1 year old. His sister was just the same it has to be said. 🙁 Last night he didn’t go to bed until 11.45 (not for want of trying) and he was up just after 8, having had two night time feeds. I felt a bit washed out I can tell you. But dp got a lie in, so I managed to retire to bed this afternoon, and feel a bit better now. Did mean we didn’t really get anything done today – a repeat performance of yesterdays trials and tribulations over card writing, I dropped the plan for the library visit on the principle that I couldn’t find the books and didn’t want to visit the library with two grumpy kids anyway.
We made it into the garden for a bit, but that was pretty much the sum total of our day. 🙁
So I’ve time for ponderings as I’ve nothing much to blog.
The other day we went shopping for birthday presents for two boys. Now this could be my own inexperience in this area (being not a boy myself) but it seems to me that boys toys are very much more limited than girls. I wanted to buy something creative, and knew that there was little point in getting much artistic stuff, figuring both children to be pretty well supplied with that. There are loads of little creative kits for girls, but they all have pictures of girls on them, and I knew that one of the boys in particular wouldn’t like to get a present for a girl.
So why is this then? We have a friend who wouldn’t let her little boy have a doll because she was afraid of him growing up to be a sissy – he used to make a beeline for the dolls here, but he’s learnt that doesn’t go down well. (I don’t have a problem with it I hasten to add, I offered to buy him a doll, whatever makes the child happy as far as I’m concerned). Are boys really not into creative stuff?
Dp has this theory that a lot of the problems about are down to mothers and how boys grow up – they have the first relationship with the child, and are responsible for how they learn to relate to others. In the news this week we’ve got this: Mollycoddled boys more successful , which while an interesting story, is more interesting to me for the language of the headline. So at the same time as telling us that we need to be more gentle with our sons, the phrase that that is applied to the treatment is denigrating.
I find it all rather depressing. And I’m being rather incoherent, so I’ll quit while I’m behind.
Comments
8 responses to “a boring day and ponderings”
ooh interesting article, I’d not seen that before, but very reassuring as Monster is a very sensitive and caring boy, prone to be what some people have called ‘girly’. i think knowing he is loved and needing reassurance and getting it when he wants it will build his self confidence in later life and make him aware of his and others feelings – if nothing else he’ll make a bloody good husband!!
On the topic of 14 hours sleep Teeny really needs to read that advice too as she seems to think its per week not per night!
Jax I think you are right about boys toys and boys clothes come to
that – not very bright all dull looking. I would have no hesitation
in giving a boy of my own a doll – little chick got a pirate ship and
loads of pirates as her main birthday present – she thinks its the best
thing since sliced bread. I think it is the parents of some boys who
make the decisions about what is ‘cissy’ etc, surely they need to learn
how to care for others too – some boys become nurses, doctors etc they
have to practice on someone/thing I’d rather it was a doll first LOL
Kind of weird article – they’re talking about the baby’s *first month*? Who wouldn’t treat their baby like a little baby at that age? Do people really treat 3 week old baby boys like they’re tough muscle men? What sort of thing would that entail?
I think children’s toys and clothes are becoming more and more extreme, more differentiated. It’s really starting to piss me off, tbh, I’ve been thinking (and mentally ranting) about it quite a bit lately.
What presents did you get in the end?
Yes, I did wonder about how you could differentiate in the first month. Although it could be to do with how ppl react to crying? I think the problems are much more likely to be around toddling – when children begin to do things independently and fall over and so on, girls get picked up and soothed, boys get told to be a big boy?
Love to read some of your rants on the subject! In the end dd chose the presents – I’ll disclose in full later when the second has been delivered! The first one went down extremely well with the recipient though 😉
((Jax)) Hope the sleep thing improves for you soon. Have you considered sedatives? ROFL
Don’t laugh, lots of ppl want sedatives for their little ones, there’s nothing that’s licensed for under ones though, but that doesn’t stop them asking. 🙁
I’m not laughing (although I am aware that the comment is a joke, and have taken it in that spirit 😉 ) but he had less than eight hours sleep with two feeds last night. He is so tired just now that he is screaming, but will he calm down to rest? Nope. He’s had a ten minute nap so far today.
I was reading dooce the other day (link in blogs I think) and there’s a bit where she allowed comments on how to travel with a 4 month old baby, and the number of ppl advising on which medication to use to zonk the child out was really terrifying. 🙁
interesting stuff Jax :o) Just as well I didn’t reply to this yesterday as the transformer was driving me up the wall! 😉 It’s not as bad as the Suburu one we got Marcus, they are really difficult even for adults!
I really don’t know why there isn’t more creative toys about for boys. I imagine that it’s the ideas from adults about what boys should play with determining what toy manufacturers make. Maybe we should start up a business!
I agree the title of that report is depressing and is exactly why people might not want to treat boys as they want as there will always be people saying they are being mollycoddled. I’m sure people think it about Marcus esp with the nursery issues and us stopping it because he didn’t want to be left there. But pah to them!