You've got to have a dream…

I read a great post about dreaming the other day. It was a timely reminder. In the middle of all my plans and targets, I think it’s possible I’ve lost sight of my dreams. Time to revisit them.

I dream of being happy. That’s probably a bit too wide and unfocussed a dream tbh. I need to narrow in on what would give me that happiness, something that I could hold on to day by day, so that my default state is contentment instead of this vague feeling I’m missing something. (Which is, it has to be admitted, better than the panicked sensation that everything is out of control which is an all too familiar default state.)

So right now, right here, as well as all my plans to have an income working from home, I’ll put out there that I want to be a published author. It’s a dream I’ve had at least since my early teens, perhaps longer. I haven’t written fiction in a long time – I think I tried nano a few years back but didn’t make it – but I have so many ideas bubbling away. It’s just that sitting down to work on them feels self indulgent and I don’t do it – although I’m quite happy, it would appear, to fritter my days away on twitter.

I don’t see it as frittering though. I see it as relating, connecting, touching base. Somehow I’ve got to find a balance, and give a better example to my children, who see me fiddling away on a screen but don’t see anything productive coming of it. Of course, there are productive things coming from some of my screen time, but there needs to be more obvious results, more demarcation of activities, more productivity, and yes, more dreaming.

I seem to be lining up resolutions. Oops. Wonder how that happened.