Struggling on.

Aug 17, 2011

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It seems to have been a long day, half way through a long week. I’m tired, nauseous, pathetic and incompetent, and I’ve got 30 or so more weeks of this to go. I really should have kept better notes on what it is I dislike about pregnancy (which would be everything except the baby at the end of it) and maybe we wouldn’t be going through this again just now.

Morning sickness is an extraordinarily badly named affliction. For starters I’m not actually sick, just incredibly nauseous round the clock, and off food and drink. And I’m tired. All I want to do is sleep, especially as I don’t feel sick when I’m asleep. If we had a spare room and a sofa bed in it, I think I’d take myself off there with my netbook and a stack of books and just keep myself out of everyone’s way until I shake my way out of this funk and start feeling more myself.

But life doesn’t work that way, pregnant or not.

Not when you already have children. Today I have done washing. (It got rained on.) Fed myself and Smallest. Failed to feed the rest of the family. Done a lot of sitting around and moping, read lots of books to Smallest. Spent some time outside videoing Small doing woodwork with Uncle David, and the second half of the visit sleeping after I fell asleep getting Smallest down for her nap.

Lots of incompetence. Must do better tomorrow. It is, after all, another day.

It’s where it is

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Comments

14 responses to “Struggling on.”

Firefly Phil
17 August 2011
Samuel Clemens (aka Mark Twain) was asked what he thought men would become in a world without women. “Scarce, sir” he replied, “Mighty scarce.”
Reply
1. Jax
  18 August 2011
  I like Mr Clemens. I also liked Heinlein’s take on him.
  Reply
Hannah F
17 August 2011
Poor you, I remember it so well, all four pregnancies, horrible sickness all the time for 12 weeks at least, and definitely not just in the morning. The baby at the end of it, of course, is rather marvellous and makes it all worth while, but it is so hard to focus on that from the perspective of the first trimester. Hang on in there x
Reply
1. Jax
  18 August 2011
  Yup, the baby at the end seems a very long way away just now. Still, determined to be a bit brighter and more with it today. Thanks for the comment.
  Reply
Emma @ MummyMummyMum
18 August 2011
Don’t forget you also found the time to help me out! I hope the sickness passes soon. I’m afraid I was one of those annoying people who never got any pregnancy symptoms, but still disliked it greatly, so can empathise with the just wanting the baby at the end.
Look after yourself. Get the kids to help out a lot!
xx
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Jenny
18 August 2011
Jax, I suffered horribly and it worsened with each child BUT when I was pregnant with Fergus I discovered acupuncture. It is not cheap but it worked on me, even though I would turn up thinking “I am going to die and you cannot make me feel better” I would skip out thru the door at the end thinking “I can do the supermarket shop” which was one of my no-go areas due to food smells. You may have to get inventive to afford it – I was lucky as a previous antenatal client offered me mates rates but I swear it is worth a go.
And may I suggest stop beating yourself up about what you don’t get “done”? You are building a whole new human being and it takes a lot of energy and releases a lot of hormones with predictable results on mood. Having said that, taking a very hard look at what I ate and trying not to OD on processed carbs really helped with the weepy lethargy that tended to overwhelm me in pregnancy.
Lots of love,
Jenny
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Allie
18 August 2011
Sympathies. I was sick for weeks and weeks and I remember it well. Hope you have a better day today.
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Merry
18 August 2011
I am extremely lucky to suffer very minimal sickness, though this time I’ve had a much greater affliction of taste sensitivities than normal. The tiredness was horrid, especially as I was trying to hide it from the girls, but the fear and anxiety well and truly overrode all of that.
Keep breathing. It will lift soon.
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Clare Kirkpatrick
18 August 2011
Really feel for you 🙁 Hope you get some energy back soon xx
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Julia Skinner
18 August 2011
You are getting through each day and at the moment that’s all you can do. It will pass but try to be patient. At least you get to read some great books! 😉
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Sarah
19 August 2011
I think it’s better when you’re actually being sick. The nausea on it’s own is much worse. I really hope that you feel better much soon.
I think, taking into account how you are feeling, you achieved a lot in your day. Give yourself a pat on the back for what you did do and know that when you feel better, things will change.
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northernmum
19 August 2011
Oh honey, I hope it improves, but the baby will make up for it! Promise!
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Circus Queen
20 August 2011
It should be a law of nature that you have a rubbish first pregnancy and then all subsequent ones are absolutely lovely. Someone should write Mother Nature a letter of complaint.
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1. Jax
  22 August 2011
  What an excellent idea.
  Reply