I have delusions of grandeur. I think of myself as creative. In reality, I’m a sloth, lolling about the (incredibly messy) place, and failing to complete half of the tasks I set myself.
Hm.
That’s not very affirming is it? Shall we try again?
I’m very happy today to be hosting the Story of Mum Make an exhibition of yourself virtual tour. I’ve joined in. I’ve created a picture for the section, I’m a mum and
So I’ve been creative. I find it very difficult to do visual things, so I’m naturally intrigued by the people who have. There’s so much there, photos, videos, mash ups. I love this mash up from bouncing life and loss, I think I could get along with a person who has aspects of llama and butterfly in their soul. The brief is to create an image by blending aspects of multiple images to represent yourself.
I couldn’t think of images to describe my identity after motherhood. I’m always saying that I’m a person too, or even first, but I realised today that this blog, the thing I’m kind of most proud of, is all focussed around my children. It’s all looking at how I fit my life around theirs, bounce back (or not) from pregnancy and birth, revisit lost dreams while educating and earning a living.
Is it possible to disentangle motherhood from your identity once you’re a mother? Should it be? I can’t stop being a daughter, or a sister, even to my sister who is dead. Our families create us, and then we create them, and we do not exist in isolation apart from them. It is in trying to do so that everything breaks I think. We talk about politics in this house, and say that every MP should represent the area they live in, to the extent that they should have to explain to their mother what their decision was and what it means. Imagine Lord Howell explaining to any member of his family that he thought where they lived was desolate and ripe for fracking.
Politics terrifies me. But it’s on behalf of my children. We have a duty to make the world a better place for the generation we will hand it to. And then they for their children. We are never allowed to make things worse, because we are all interconnected, by bonds of love and blood.
And that’s how it should be. I cannot not be a mother now, it will always be a part of me, even when my children are grown and living their own lives with their own children. And that is my identity.
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