Looking through very old blogposts trying to find the one about the swimming pool and the vomit (don’t ask) and came across this gem.
It made me stop and think. It’s over 5 years since I wrote that. I’m still hopeless at cuddling my children. Still utterly disorganised. Possibly even more paralysed by future fear than I was then (surely it ought to decrease as we’ve less uture before us iyswim, not increase??) and certainly no nearer knowing what I want to be when I grow up.
I overthink, I know that. Always terrified of making the wrong decision, I end up making no decision at all. But I’m frittering my life away, and wasting my children’s childhood worrying, and it’s no good.
A little while back I posted about making changes. I’ve been partially successful. My running is going reasonably well, although last week I struggled to fit it in, so this morning I went back to start from scratch again. But I’ve fallen by the wayside with the morning pages, I just can’t get that 20 minutes of uninterrupted time in the house with baby, children and twitter all calling to me.
(Yes, I know willpower is the problem with the last one, but the other two are a bit more difficult.)
So I’m trying to be differently creative, mainly with a camera. Which is working quite well, I have a few pics I’m quite pleased with, although obviously I also have lots that I’m slightly frustrated with. I’d also like to fit in some drawing/painting/yarn work but that will depend on some other goals happening first.
The main priority has to be to declutter. Declutter the house a room at a time, declutter my mind. I’ve got so much backed up that I need to do that I just have to get on with it. And through it all I have to remember my priorities. My health and fitness, both physical and mental have to come first – I cannot have a healthy happy family if I’m not healthy and happy in looking after them. Then the family are the priority – home cooking, tidy house (!) and education, education, education lol. After that, it’s work – I’m not happy without something of mine to build a little independence. I just can’t do it, I’m too used to working and whether it be right or wrong, I see myself from that viewpoint.
One of the things that has been cluttering my mind is the need to put a badge on this type of post so that anyone else who wants to can join in too. So I’ve just taken half an hour out to be creative and make a badge, I hope you like it.
These are my liveotherwise posts – I’d love your support as I try to make changes I feel I need, and I’d love to support you in doing similarly. Please feel free to copy the badge – I’ll do one of those funky things with a link back later, but now I need to shop – and share, and drop a comment or trackback on the post to tell me what you are up to.
Leave a Reply