and feeling pathetic.
I know there are several others on the blogring or close by with far better reason than I to feel down at the moment, but somehow, there but for the grace of omnipotent-deity-I-don’t-even-believe-in isn’t cutting it to cheer me up or motivate me to get off my behind. It’s 5 past 1 in the afternoon, none of us are dressed, I’ve just demanded that the tv be turned off as Small was tantrumming that whatever was on wasn’t what he wanted, and the instant response to that is that they are belting around the room like loonies.
I’m losing track of what I’m supposed to be doing here. Big is outsmarting me at every possible turn – I told her earlier that I wasn’t going to spend the whole day shouting at her, and that if I had to tell her anything more than once, the third meant leave the room. We’ve just had one of those moments, and she wandered off into the kitchen and continued the behaviour, which she knows is *not* what I meant by leave the room, but she is so mind numbingly pedantic (and don’t tell me that you know where she gets it from, it just isn’t funny quite frankly) that I can’t win on that kind of count. And it gets very very wearing to have to be utterly precise with every little instruction that you give, and watch every phrase that passes your lips for double meanings, loopholes, and possible wilful misinterpretations.
I have washed up. I’ve got ciabatta in the oven for lunch. I’m determined that we will finish cards, which has to be the next thing after lunch to give them time to dry, and we need to go out to get milk as we’re almost out.
On the upside, I’m loving watching Small developing his imagination – he’s rowing a boat around the living room with a long tube atm. Very cute. And he’s starting to sing – watching him actually joining in with Old McDonald’s Farm on tikkabilla this morning was fantastic. If we could just get past the constant Dr Who episode reminiscent “mummy, mummy” I’d be very very happy.
Right, the ciabatta has pinged. I need to take it out and let it cool down.
I must get some stuff done off my list this afternoon – it’s such a scary list that I can’t even begin to write it down, not least as the writing would probably take a week I don’t have 🙁 and then maybe I might feel that I have a fleeting chance at capturing my rapidly evaporating life.
did I mention that I’m tired. All I want to do is sleep, then when I get to bed, it’s the one thing I can’t do. Bleargh.
Comments
22 responses to “so very tired”
((hug)) No idea what else to say really. Stuck here now waitign for bloke to come fix bathroom light – long story – see blog! Was meant to be getting cards posted – oops.
*hugs*
*sigh*
I just hsve no idea what to say.
Well, yesterday improved markedly when i put on a jumper that warmed me up but left me with room to move (chunky cardy ties me down) and buried the laptop under one of piles of stuff i needed to sort out.
Try that?
Jax, cards dont matterreally, just do a random fewto ,ake the point, the ephemera of xmas doesn’t matter.
big and small have missed you desperately. I should imagine big in particular is just trying to prove she can do things without you. why she is so horrid at the mo with instructions. SB has her own torture – which is that only daddy will do, and I am unnecessary. for the same reason really. it passes.
these things will pass.
write a list of all the things you really have to do [and not just for social nicety reasons]
write a list of all the things you will enjoy doing
f not on those 2 lists, don’t do it
hugs hugs
Very sensible advice
((((Hugs))))
And I know what you mean about the pedantry. But sorry, being a pedant, I do have to point out that it is actually quite funny 😉
Ciabatta – yum. Hm. Might have to get someone to stop on the way home from work…
Having reached this point with no Xmas prep done at all, and no chance of doing it now, plus no Bob around much from Xmas Eve till the 30th, I’ve asked myself “what are the things I CAN do over the next few days to ensure Hannah has a good time, and some happy memories?” It’s actually been rather liberating. It’s involved such helpful questions as “if you could have anything you wanted for xmas dinner, what would it be?” The answer of sausages, roast potatoes, sprouts, shloer juice and Sara Lee chocolate cake is bound to be easier to shop and cook for than anything I might have felt obliged to attempt 🙂 I can also see myself playing rather a lot of disney monopoly as well, which isn’t quite so good, but at least I can do that while semi-recumbant. The rest is obligation, really, and I feel free to have none this year 🙂
I imagine you wuill have a great xmas joyce.
i only have huge list of 2 do because I want to do it, and this year, I have the time. Anything not accomplished will just get wiped off.
xmas has gradually got into a bigger and bigger chore for the organiser – with so many must have things else it isn’t right.
don’t make yourself miserable over it Jax, you’ve had a tough term and need a break.
much hugs still
hope i’m not coming accross as obnoxious though.
I quite agree with Helen and Joyce! Don’t think Christmas should be about obligation any year, personally.
((((((((Jax)))))))))) I hate being tired too and it rules your life in that you just can’t function properly. Luckily I am getting more sleep at the moment and feeling a bit more chipper but I hope you get more sleep/rest/happy thoughts soon too. I’m really feeling it for you with all the travelling let alone anything else you are doing like work/home/children etc xxxxx
Not obnoxious at all Helen, and I think everyone is making good points here. It’s mainly my own fault though, for being so ludicrously disorganised. And I’m really helping that by sitting here at the puter, aren’t I? :slap: Your idea has merit Merry 😉
Poor you jax,it can be so like lion taming some days can’t it?
I have felt like this before Christmas ,often,just that last year we had an awful,dreadful.horrific,sad time at Christmas,and it has left me realising how f******* lucky we all are this year that I feel light and joyous.
Take care XXXXXX
Re Big…. funny you know, I’ve got a small horrid child here today too…. couldn’t be the time of year could it???
Jax,
[Big is outsmarting me at every possible turn]
What is your view on corporal punishment? Deliberate subversion is just crying out for a clip around the ear or, alternatively, the patience of a saint.
Can’t quite see Jax smacking Big round the head! Guess the saintliness will have to be cultivated 😉 A sardonic “Ha ha, you are funny”, followed by a scary “NOW do what I wanted!” works sometimes 🙂
We tend to the view that hitting people to make them do what we want is not a behaviour we want to teach.
Jax, is it possible that she *didn’t* know what you wanted to do and she actually thought she was doing the right thing? I know my biggest and littlest would really think they were being helpful. I may have mentioned this before but DS3 was hitting DH, I said “no hitting” and without pause he said “OK I’ll kick him instead” and did so. Not to be stupidly annoying (although it was!) but because he is so literal you really do have to check every single word you say. ((hugs)) though, DS2 has the literalness of the other two but with the theory of mind that they both lack and he uses them to distraction because he can so cleverly manipulate everyone. Hope Christmas disappears for you and some sleep manages to sneak up on you.
Tim,
What about the other aspect – using physical force to stop someone doing something, perhaps hazardous, that they shouldn’t? The act, for instance, of openly subverting the directives of an authority should be expected to attract no less than a grave, disproportionate and immediate response.
Surely the very word disproportionate speaks for itself?
Taking perspective back for a moment, this is a not quite six year old obeying the letter of the command. Hardly worthy of a beating by any stretch of the imagination. Irritating yes, (screamingly so at times!) slap worthy, no.
If one of my children is running towards a road I’ll grab them hard, but I don’t think of that as being punishment. Physical restraint to stop a tantrum (wrapping yourself around a toddler to stop them braining themself on the furniture) isn’t punishment either. So I’m not quite sure I get your point? Are you saying that children need to learn to obey – ‘cos while on side I think it would be really really good if they did occasionally 😉 I’m not convinced that it’s the most required life skill though.
Go on, write the list. Then we’ll all advise you on what to scratch off it, and what really needs doing 😉
I agree totally with Joyce and Helen – to hell with everyone else, just do what’s necessary to make Sunday morning fun for the Pedantic one and the Imaginative one, and to hell with everyone else. I’ve given up on the xmas cards – I got half of them out before the wall came down and the gods only know where the rest have gone. And for once, I really don’t care. 😀 I might start a new tradition and send out New Year cards instead. Or Happy February cards. Or even, write the important people on my list a letter, enclose a photo of the madness and rethink just how many people need to get a card of me next year.
Am rambling – maybe I ought to go and blog the rest of this 😉 (((Jax)))
Jax,
I used the word disproportionate quite deliberately, to emphasise that I’m more interested in the edge cases where corporal punishment may be appropriate rather than the day-to-day disciplinary measures where it is not.
I think you’re right to question what my point is. I definately have one, somewhere in the impossible labyrinth that masquerades as my mind, but I find myself in need of reflection to express it correctly, if at all. Also, corporal punishment isn’t a particularly festive subject. Maybe I’ll post something on my blog in the New Year. 🙂
She says, if it is appropriate, it is not disproportionate.
I think, if anything, the punishment should fit the crime, not exceed it. However, I don’t think there is any profit in punishment for its own sake.
If the purpose of punishment is to modify an individual’s future behaviour then it need be only the minimum necessary to achieve that.
If the purpose is to discourage others from similar behaviour then it must be severe enough to have that effect, which has little to do with measuring the punishment to the specific transgression which is being dealt with and far more to do with the perceptions of these third parties.
If the purpose is revenge, then the punishment needs to be tailored to suit the desires of the person seeking revenge. Again this does not necessarily have that much to do with the misdeed, but perhaps more to do with the person seeking revenge.
For example, I think that the person who blocked both lanes at the traffic lights in Harrogate this morning should be:
1. rammed to discourage them from doing it again
2. burnt at the stake to discourage others
3. given a fairly stiff talking to
That would cover off the three requirements quite nicely. 🙂