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Picture this (a gentle rant on a spring evening)

—

by

Tim
in

What image is conjured up when an estate agents particulars for a house starts “This interesting and unique semi-detached house”.

The first thought that came to my mind was, “run, run away!”.

And how about “A lovely opportunity for the expanding family. ” WTF?

I suppose “An internal inspection is essential to fully appreciate the extensive accommodation and fine views.” is ok so long as it isn’t said by Helen Haricot in her professional capacity.

And what pray, is a “hamlet type setting”? If it is in a hamlet (a group of up to five houses), say so, otherwise, shut up until you can think of something sensible. Or perhaps, it is THAT Hamlet, Hamlet, Prince of Denmark. Now that would be an interesting Hamlet type setting, don’t you think? Alas, poor Yorick, I knew his sister.

:rant:

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Comments

7 responses to “Picture this (a gentle rant on a spring evening)”

  1. HelenJ avatar
    HelenJ

    rofl tim – i would be struck off!!
    for hamlet – i think middle of bloody nowhere but a couple of new builds by a farmer on the make! [otherwise it would be idyllic or picturesque setting!
    hmm agree with interesting and unique – fake cladding stonework and astrothatch [tm to me!] roof! Never have got astrothatch off the ground but do think its a fab idea, brown astroturf for the roof to mimic a thatched roof, but none of the labour!

    Reply
  2. Tim avatar
    Tim

    But would it burn as well as proper thatch? 🙂

    Reply
  3. rosie avatar
    rosie

    ROFL! Tim. I’m hoping to have some editorial on ours as some of the things they say are like, what are you trying to say? what are you not saying?
    Is there an estate agents’ phrasebook/translation guide? I think we need one.

    Reply
  4. Tim avatar
    Tim

    Brothel in Pimlico is a good start.

    Reply
  5. The Artist formerly known as Elderfaery avatar
    The Artist formerly known as Elderfaery

    And you know..there is something rotten in the state of Denmark…cos I am here and I can smell it! It’s come out of the ends of all those Danish bacon botties and is all over the fields right about now..*EURGH!* Hamlet type setting house has to have immitation plastic wood beams..preferably everywhere in house including garage.

    Reply
  6. jan avatar
    jan

    Hamlet-type setting? Like Eastenders? Everyone comes to a sticky end?

    Reply
  7. Lin avatar
    Lin

    I’m obviously thinking long the same lines as Jan!
    Hamlet type setting is where someone comes along in the dead of night whilst you are sleeping and pours poison into your ear, think I’d give the place a miss.

    Reply

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