My child matters.

To me.

That’s the way it’s supposed to be. I have a rough idea of what a child can do at each stage of their life, and that’s enough. I also know my children well enough to know when I can worry – Small was so very capable at nearly 2 that his lack of speech was a concern, and then I sought help.

I sought help. It wasn’t thrust upon me, and that too, was the way it should be.

I haven’t been keeping up with all the political blogging recently, because I’ve been spending my time and energy on my children, mainly the littlest one. She’s a baby who likes to feed, and rather than panic and shove her on formula or start spooning baby rice into her I’ve just settled myself more comfortably into my chair and spent more time feeding her. She’s thriving on it. Happy, smiling, alert, trying to sit up. But I admit it would be very difficult to go to work and express enough for her.

Do you know how I know that? Because I did it. At 14 weeks, Big was in nursery, and she was being given baby rice type foods. At that point the advice was to exclusively breastfeed up to 4 months before weaning, so we weren’t that far off. The fact that the advice has changed so drastically (now it’s supposed to be up to 6 months) makes me think that numbers aren’t the best way of looking at it. You should look at the child. With soa, when she can sit up we’ll put her a high chair at the table and she’ll join us at meal times. When she starts stealing food, I’ll assume that means she’s ready to try it. Baby led weaning they call it.

But in reality, it’s just common sense. And I have the luxury of time to observe her and a certain amount of faith in my ability to raise children, having managed two, so I’m very lucky.

Because of the experience I have, I am confident that I can raise this child without needing much in the way of HV support, or wrap around childcare, or school. I am confident that she and I will find a way for her to read. That she will talk to me when she is ready to. That we will find interests for her and that she will learn both the things we think are important and the ones that interest her. (Hopefully there will be some overlap there.)

And I will do all of this without targets. Without ticklists. Without measurements and charts. I will consider my child and her needs and I am the right person to do that. Not the government. Not a nursery nurse or health visitor. They are not interested enough to encourage me to do this – they don’t actually want me to spend my time with my children. They want me to work, and my children to be in childcare with ppl doing it as a job, rather than for love.

How could that make sense? How could those ppl be better ppl to pick my baby up when she falls, to soothe her when she is sad, to rejoice with her when she is happy?

How can they be better ppl to read her bedtime stories, sing songs with her in the sunshine, pick flowers and play games?

They are not. My child matters to me because she is my child. Because she was born of my body, I carried her beneath my heart. Not because of policy, or regulations.

My child matters to me because I love her. And that is how it should be.