What do you think?!
But fairly quickly, as I do want to get some chores done tonight so that they aren’t waiting for me in the morning. So it’ll be a bit stream of consciousness I’m afraid, as there’s a few things batting around my head I want to get out.
First of all, there’s a poem, possibly a native indian thing, about “Look to this day” and I’ve always loved it. Read it again the other day on someone’s blog, and started to think about it some more. How does it work? What does it mean? You can’t live today as if there isn’t a tomorrow, or tomorrow might end up being a hungry day – you didn’t plant the food or harvest it… if you don’t exercise today it won’t harm you today, but you’ll be a slob in a few years time, so it can’t mean that kind of thing. I know, I know, I’m not making any sense. It’s just I think I’ve been living too much worrying about the future, but not actually dealing with it, so my todays have been overshadowed, and my tomorrows not improved. Changing now.
And little angels. Ooh, tonight’s little boy and situation looked familiar. The prescription was that the mother was overparenting – there was no fun between her and her son any more. I recognise that. And so as I went past Big’s room tonight while she was still playing, I went in and gave her a kiss goodnight. She said today that I rarely kiss her, and it’s true, I just don’t think to do it. Physical affection doesn’t come naturally to me, it just doesn’t occur to me, and I think it’s causing us a problem. Need more fun and laughter.
And conversely, more education. Big has been thrilled over the last couple of days when I’ve given her worksheets to do. And I’ve sat down and played games with her. Small has taken to drawing pictures and bringing them to me – I must respond to this too, as it makes him so happy. Don’t find it difficult to cuddle him yet, he’s still baby to me. Got to pull that back for Big, and find some fun for myself.
Today is a day.
I’ll blog the actual events of today tomorrow, or maybe just write it up for a website somewhere – our group was excellent today, lots of material for ongoing projects. Anyone know how to fold a girl in a kimono?
Comments
4 responses to “Blog or washing/ washing up?”
M loves being tickled, C hates it – but they both love having their back massaged. They also reciprocate on occasion. I sometimes find it useful as a gentle wake ’em up mechanism too.
Rona said to me once when she was dying that if she had known she was going to die before she was 40, she’s wouldn’t have wasted money on a pension plan. She was always saying to me “don’t die a 100 deaths worrying about the tomorrow you might not have. Live a bit” But as an olympic level worrier, I find that “live in the moment” bit incredibly hard to do. But the issue is that future-worry often just leads to me feeling paralysed and overwhelmed, so I don’t do anything, except worry, and then don’t enjoy today, either. I think in my case it ties me to doing things in the here and now (like driving all that distance to work), that I hate, but I can’t break free of becuase of “what if”. So no answer – I’m a work in progress on this one, but lots of empathy. One of the earlier little angels covered that touch issue, and Tania was suggesting that if going for the whole blown hugs thing was hard, to do more casual touching initially. So I guess things like reating a hand on a head or a shoulder, qucik stroke down the back as you squeeze past them etc.
I am very affectionate with my two – and Ady is is too to a slightly lesser extent. Not sure why as I’m not super keen on other people ‘in my personal space’ too much and neither of my parents was huge on kisses and cuddles. It just feels right and I do it without thinking about it. If it didn’t come naturally though I don’t know how easy it would be to keep it up. I also know of several parents who are very cuddly people but their kids just don’t like it.
Fun and laughter OTOH are good for everyone and I think it’s always worth finding time to enjoy life and the people you share it with.
Scarlett sounds a bit more like Small – good at getting the attention when they need it as and when. Davies can end up being a bit neglected and I have started to deliberately make time for him and I to do stuff together without the distraction of S around – every Saturday we go off together, even if it’s just to the shops and we both really enjoy it just being us.
I don’t know that poem but I think I understand what your thoughts on it are – it is very hard to strike a balance between a ‘see what happens’ attitude and complete living in the future and never enjoying the today.
I was exactly like Joyce has put above – before I had Little chick – I am a little like it with money now but not so much that I can’t enjoy life with LC and Steve. Since having her my life has changed so much that I am probably unrecognisable to anyone who knew me before. I think being an older parent too I think stuff everything except my immediate family. LC is never off my lap she gets cuddles just looking at her. Yet she is not very cuddly with anyone else – even Steve has to ‘earn’ his cuddles!! I don’t know if other people would think I am over the top in this but I don’t do it at inappropriate times eg when she is busy doing something or every five seconds etc but when we have the moment or opportunity to tell her I love her or cuddle her I do because this was totally lacking in my childhood. When I first had LC it’s a wonder her skin didn’t come off with all the kisses she got as I couldn’t really cuddle her that much for the first two weeks as she had to be in a double light incubator – I’m sure she was in there longer because when it was feeding or changing nappy time I used to keep her out for as long as possible cuddling her LOL