And sometimes it's tough.

I missed the first session of the kid’s new music group today and soa is in a paper nappy. This is because yesterday went a bit pear shaped. Well, only last night tbh.

Yesterdat started reasonably well. I’d grabbed my extra bit of kip in the morning before Tim went out to the dentists, then I got up and fed in the living room while Small did maths and Big did something or other else. Small’s maths was intriguing – the section in his book was subtraction with regrouping (we used to call it borrowing) but he doesn’t like that method. So he did each sum a different way, all perfectly logical, but somewhat long winded. As he could explain what he’d done and it worked fine I didn’t bother trying to persuade him that regrouping is the way to go, but I’ll be interested to see how he manages when he gets to working with hundreds as well as tens and units. For posterity, heres one of his sums: 62 – 58 first of all he removes 2 from each of them, then minuses the 50 from sixty to have ten, then takes away the 6 from the ten to get 4.

The afternoon sped by – Tim returned from the dentist looking like half the joker with one side of his mouth crooked up and we got organised and I took the bigger two down to swimming. Soa was happy and smily down there, and I put her in the hugabub and she went to sleep. Home again after, and I organised pizza while Tim retired to bed – the anaesthetic wearing off by then. He stayed in bed until 11 o’clock, meaning I had to scavenge food between feeds as the frequency and duration was increasing rapidly, as it usually does in the evening. Kind of wish that our tv picked up more channels as our choice is a bit limited – last night I watched The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. Missed the end and really didn’t care, it annoyed me hugely how they had gathered together characters from so many different stories and bundled them together in a pointless mishmash. It wasn’t even particularly interesting to watch.

Tim got up again then and assumed I’d eaten properly, when he found out I hadn’t, he did pizza 🙂 Just as well, as the night went on, and on, and on. Some time after midnight she stopped feeding and started being very noisily unhappy – we took it in shifts with her over our shoulders or draped along our arms. This went on for hours.

By three o’clock I was fading rapidly, and so was she. She kept falling off to sleep, but when I tried to move her to a sleeping position she would wake up and cry, and still not want to feed. At half three I took her to bed anyway – laid her down and discovered that she would feed that way, and she did until we both fell asleep around 4 o’clock.

Slept until Tim’s alarm went off at 8.30 and then again until mine went off at 9. Or did I feed her then? I can’t remember. At some point I got up and argued with the children until they got dressed. It was quite a strenuous argument, particularly where Small was concerned. He is increasingly reluctant to leave the house, and very oppositional and aggressive in his reluctance. In the end I only won because I started to dress him, and he doesn’t like that at all.

And so to today. Tim took them out – I went back to bed, and had only just got up to feed again minutes before they reappeared just after 12. Which at least meant I wasn’t instantly exhausted, though my resolution to get through the day without shouting didn’t make it through the afternoon. 🙁

I think part of the problem is that we are all on top of each other all the time. In Spring, Summer and Autumn we get out and about pretty much daily, which long excursions to the beach or the grove, or just wanders around town. Right atm with a small babe in arms (or in wrap 😉 ) and snow and ice underfoot and almost constant snow or rain falling it’s just not weather any of us feel like going out in. Today though Tim brought back a babywearing poncho that’s been sent through to me, so as long as it’s not actively snowing, that should help.

Aims for the rest of the week – try not to shout.

Definitely try not to scream 🙁

Clear tables and floor in here, help children clear floor and tidy up their bedroom. If at all possible, process the final bags of stuff from outside.

And then it will be holiday time.