Things I would like to say…

Dec 8, 2006

—

Jax Blunt

in Archive

to other drivers.

One headlight on full beam is not the same as two dipped lights.

They are called foglights for a reason. Water that is falling from the sky is not fog.

Your reflexes are not really that good.

This gap in front of me is not an invitation to cut across to the exit we are passing, it is my safe stopping distance.

Fiestas are allowed in the outside lane. Yes, really.

That funny ticking noise and the flashing light on your dashboard are connected. You can stop them by turning off your indicator after you finish your manoevre.

Indicators are to indicate your intentions. They are not an instruction to other drivers. They do not give you a right to pull out.

The white lines across the lane/ road you are driving up mean it’s somebody else’s turn. If you don’t understand taking turns, talk to your four year old. They’ve probably got it cracked by now.

I am not a mindreader.

It’s where it is

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Comments

14 responses to “Things I would like to say…”

Gill
8 December 2006
Oh, yes!
Especially the indicators! Only many drivers seem to have abandoned them altogether now, having evolved their lane-switching etiquette from “This is what I’d like to do,” to “This is what I’m going to do, so move,” swiftly onto “Sod you, I’m doing it.” – which is seriously scary when it’s an HGV 🙁
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Jax
8 December 2006
That was what the “I am not a mindreader” bit was about.
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Sarah, Dino and Mimi
8 December 2006
Oh and you see that circly thing with the numbers in? That is the FASTEST you can go on this road, not a reason for sitting on my bumper scowling when I’m not quite going that fast.
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Jax
8 December 2006
Good point. Forgot about that one.
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Tim
9 December 2006
Always remember: maneouvre, signal, mirror.
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rosie
9 December 2006
aaargh! (sorry, that was pent-up road rage). I must do about 10 miles per day, max, and every day I come across some lunatic/incompetent driver. It’s quite a scary thought, actually.
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Liberta
9 December 2006
Theres another circly bit – you know the ones on sticks at the side of the road. The number in the circle is how fast you can go.
And you know that shiny thing just above your head, yeah, that one. Take a look at it now and again and check out how many cars you have trailing behind you because you refuse to go over 30 and PULL OVER!
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Merry
9 December 2006
How about “In case you aren’t aware, using your BRAKE PEDAL, lights up some signals to other people on the back of your car and helps them not to RUN INTO THE BACK OF YOU. Just ceasing to accelerate does not give other road users the same warning.”
Oh and
“If your assuming i am as much of an idiot as you, you are wrong. I will NOT be going round a blind corner on the wrong side of the road, therefore the safest place on the road for YOU is NOT to try and second guess me and be on the WRONG side of the road. The potential for crashing inot people if you inhabit it, is in fact why it is called THE WRONG SIDE OF THE ROAD.”
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Tim
9 December 2006
I am puzzled as to why people who are so busy and important that they have to be on the phone ALL THE TIME can’t afford to buy themselves one of these. Using a proper handsfree means that you can smoke, drink coffee, take notes on your conversation, read the map or adjust your make up while continuing your conversation. Or even have your hands on the steering wheel.
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Bob
9 December 2006
BMW drivers seem to have most problems.
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Tim
9 December 2006
I understand now, I had thought BMWs weren’t fitted with indicators. It really should have been obvious to me that they are just too stupid to use them.
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Em
9 December 2006
hey I drive a BMW 🙁
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HelenHaricot
9 December 2006
hmm, we know that Em!! [and will probably NEVER forget it. you are going to hide the keys at Melrose????
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Em
10 December 2006
Ah no for melrose I have a special waterproof pouch with a lock on it, and big shiny letters saying “BB not for orange juice”, and I will brief everyone to be watching BB at all times for signs of key posession.
Of course, if you hadn’t just reminded me, I hadn’t actually thought about it 🙂
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