I’ve got a stinking head cold and I really don’t feel well. The house is (as always) a tip, and it’s getting me down – I did laundry and folded it up and so on and when the children went to get ready they threw it around in crumpled heaps and left it for me to find. I’ve just spoken to them both about it and neither seems to think there is any problem with this, so I’ve obviously done something very wrong as far as that goes. (The example they have to follow I suspect 🙁 ) Made the mistake of reading a Lovelock article in the guardian the other day (no, I’m not linking, don’t want to depress anyone else) and am now really struggling to work out what is the point of anything if the world is (effectively) going to end anyway.
I have struggled with depression all of my life. Not just all my adult life, all my life. It is so difficult to find the energy to go on, I know that the changes we are making right at the moment will improve my day to day living but to get to them seems so much effort. I’ve letters of complaint to write to banks and so on, and yet the last batch of letters I wrote I didn’t even get answers, and you get to wondering just what is the point?
Right, must summon up some oomph to get through today and then there’s two more weeks of work at IT land, during which I must do something about a rental property nearer to the school. Decisions are very difficult while in this state though, which then makes everything else so much more difficult and I am so pathetic!
Bleargh. Whinge. Whine.
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