I’ve been struggling with a few too many things recently, mainly down to an inability to say no and a lack of time management skills on my part. There’s also a perfectionist streak and this problem I have with not being able to start things if I don’t know all the techniques for doing it, which means I’m an awesome systems programmer but not that good when there aren’t clearly described instructions for a task.
So this evening I got myself into a state. I sent out a self pitying call for reassurance, put my phone down, and made a start on the scary project. Some time later I picked up Twitter to find 22 encouraging responses. I was overwhelmed all over again, and stood in the kitchen dripping gently, but I’m a good way.
If I was in a room with all of you I’d forget your names, mix up your faces. But online you are each of you individual and clear to me and every single person who took the time to send me those words meant so very much. You stuck me back together and put a smile on my face, have me the self belief to try.
Tomorrow will be another challenging day. I need to dig myself out from the heap I’m under, virtually and emotionally, but tonight I began to hope that I could do that.
And hope is something I’ve been missing for a while.
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