Rubbish Christmas – The Competition

Dec 28, 2006

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First Prize: A tomato ketchup container shaped like a tomato.

Two Runners-Up Prizes: Special Poundland® tokens, entitling the recipient to purchase any item on sale in the store.

Please submit your entries using the comments box below. The winners will be the givers or recipients of the presents judged most rubbish by me. My decision is final, because I am always right.

Extra points will be awarded to presents which proved to be lethal or caused serious injury or embarassment. Recipients of presents who were killed by their gift will however be disqualified on the grounds of stupidity and their prize awarded to the giver.

Please explain why you think your present is particularly deserving of the award.

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Comments

23 responses to “Rubbish Christmas – The Competition”

t-bird
28 December 2006
Duke got a “Duff beer” can of bubble bath and one of those buzzing maze things in the shape of the word “Duff” that makes a sound aleged to be a beer can opening if you touch the wire….I can’t begin to describe how delighted Duke is with it but sadly I missed the refuse collection this morning so it’s in the house for at least another 2 weeks 🙁 it that rubbish enough for you sweetie? Do I really *need* to explain why ti’s deserving of award??
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Tim
28 December 2006
I think I get the idea. A worthy entry indeed. I trust that you will thank the giver in an appropriate way, firebomb their house or maybe tell Tony Blair they will give him a free holiday.
I should have said really. Links to pictures are appreciated. Laughing is good, but pointing and laughing is even better.
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SallyM
28 December 2006
I have a “3 little pigs” cookie jar in the shape of number 3 pigs brick house. With sound. It oinks when you open it. I do have a photo but have misplaced my USB cable, will be back to link when I find it! This was a joint present to me and DH from my Aunt. Since she knows we had a new kitchen in the summer and therefore have pretty much everything all co-ordinated as we haven’t had enough time to lose or break it all I can’t imagine what she was thinking. Sadly I don’t think its going to make it out the box and I’m already plotting who I can re-gift it to. I’m thinking MIL who has a January birthday might be a deserving recipient for the pure fun value of seeing what nice things she can manage to say about it in politeness LOL!
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Alison
28 December 2006
I’m disappointed this year, I thought we’d be in with a chance with my godmother’s present – she’s given us things such as a yellow sheep biscuit barrel, a Rudolph snack tray, etc – but this year she gave us Oxfam Unwrapped type presents! Damn 😉 (Don’t know exactly what she got us, as my mum had the cards and has lost them.)
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Jan
28 December 2006
M was given a jigsaw puzzle by Jonathan’s aunt. She gets one every year but she is completely not a jigsaw child. We do have a few puzzles with educational merit, but this one was a very twee one with a kitten and some Christmas baubles. But the best bit about it is that is the very same twee kitten and baubles which the same aunt gave to M two years ago. Fortunately I siphon off that kind of thing, so M was unaware she had ever had a jigsaw like that before. And in fact she still doesn’t have one. 😉
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rosie
28 December 2006
when’s the deadline? I haven’t had my mothers present(s) yet. I’m wondering if she can beat last year’s Worcester porcelain Xmas plate picturing scary snowman. Meg has received a clock set in a pink plastic crystal dome which is rather, hmm, nice, but she’s not in at the moment.
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Jo
28 December 2006
I’d love to participate, but, sadly/smugly, I can’t.
Alcohol, Lush stuff, necklaces and money…. I promise to try harder!
I could try strangling someone with one of the necklaces though, would that suffice?
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Tim
28 December 2006
Go for it Jo. Try serving them in soup.
Closing date for entries is 31/12/2006 23:59:59 🙂
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Lin
29 December 2006
My weirdest one was a ‘fun size’ box of cornflakes (the sort you get in the multi-packs), presumably my dear friend who shall remain nameless didn’t like cornflakes in her multi-pack (she in fact gave me 2 mini boxes of cornflakes!!) but the sad thing is that I don’t either, wonder who I can pass them off to…… OOh I know, “Smug Jo” above only lives around the corner from me, he he he…
(I perhaps should add that said nameless friend also gave me choccie truffles and Bucks Fizz, so not a bad friend just having a joke!)
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Tim
29 December 2006
Did you make suitable appreciative noises when you opened it. “Oh, how lovely”, “You shouldn’t have, no really, you shouldn’t have”. 🙂
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Jo
29 December 2006
You might very well get a bead or two from a necklace in your tea next time Lin. I’m still looking for volunteers/martyrs!
Then I can have your Buck’s Fizz!
‘I love it when a plan comes together!’
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Kris
30 December 2006
No entries yet this year, but last year DH’s aunt gave him an extra large jar of Nescafe because it came with a large box of Quality Street. She normally gives chocolates, so maybe she thought she was doing him a favour by getting the coffee too.
Except he doesn’t drink the stuff.
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Alison
30 December 2006
Well actually, I do have a contender. Feel rather guilty about complaining about it, as it’s something my mum knitted for me, but much as I would love to like it, it’s just wrong. It’s a shrug kind of thing, with 3/4 length sleeves, and a tie front. She said it’s supposed to be knitted up in a thin lacy yarn – but she used some chunky wool as that’s what she had. And she always knits loose, so it’s (miles) too big. The colour’s a nice purple, but instead of something I could wear, it just looks ridiculous on me. I don’t really know what to do with it.
Anyone fancy a size 16/18 purple shrug? Or I could carefully shrink it?
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Tim
30 December 2006
We need a picture! 🙂
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Alison
30 December 2006
I’ll get one for you ….
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Merry
30 December 2006
ROFL – Alison, you are always in need of new tents…would it do the job? 😉
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Tim
30 December 2006
It would probably be as much use as the parachute Jax is crocheting for her mother. 👿
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Sarah
31 December 2006
Can I enter this stupid No Brainer game?

I was waiting to try and get a photo of Steve with it on his head but I haven’t managed … yet 😉
It speaks (in a very annoying voice), asks you daft questions like ‘which of these things are bigger than you’, then lists off random objects like jellyfish, skyscraper etc., and you have to nod or shake your head to get through the levels/questions. Which are all as rubbish as each other! (even the person who gave it to us thought it was rubbish when they heard the questions)
The worst thing is that it came in a box, but once we put it together I can’t seem to take it apart again so it won’t even fit back into the original box to put it away for a suitable amount of time before … ahem … getting rid of it, so now the wretched thing is hanging around the house annoying the hell out of me.
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Tim
31 December 2006
Of course, I will look forward to the picture. DOn’t you just love things which don’t go back in the box? Big chose a Robot thing for Small which has the same ‘feature’.
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Nic
31 December 2006
Tim unless you mean the adult versions you might want to amend that comment!
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Tim
31 December 2006
😐
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HelenJ
7 January 2007
a name alert for your post as well tim
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Tim
7 January 2007
Ta. I was a bit slow on the uptake there.
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