Now is Good (also published as Before I Die) Jenny Downham

“A book that will make you happy to be alive” says Heat. At least that’s the quote that’s on the cover. I’m not quite sure how this is supposed to be achieved? So you read a book about a teenager dying, and feel better because you aren’t that teenager?

This is a book that deserves far more than trite cover quotes. Tessa is dying. She’s not happy about it. She’s writing a bucket list, but it doesn’t include swimming with dolphins. She wants to have sex. Do drugs. Say yes to everything for a day. And she desperately, hopelessly, doesn’t want to die. It feels to me like an honest book. I can’t honestly see how you reconcile yourself to dying as a young person – I’m fairly sure I couldn’t reconcile myself to it now and I’m way older than 16/17. So the anger in the character, the selfishness does come through the powerfully clear writing, but at the same time the love and energy is there too. Tessa is a real person, sharp edges and all, and the people around her are just as clearly delineated, from the unexpected boyfriend whose life she changes forever, to the brother bouncing through the days and swinging from love to hate himself.

It is unusual to find a book with incidental characters to clearly shown in all their glorious strengths and weaknesses – this is powerful writing. Did I say that already? It’s worth saying again. There’s no hiding from the issues or fears, the unpleasantness of the business of living on after someone you’ve loved dies.

I cried. I’m not sure how you couldn’t. And I didn’t want to put it down, after it took me a couple of weeks to find the strength to pick it up. I knew I was going to be rung out by it, but hoped it would be worth it. And it so much was.

A fantastic debut from an author I’m sure we’re going to be hearing a lot about.

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    Comments

    5 responses to “Now is Good (also published as Before I Die) Jenny Downham”

    1. That’s the film title. The book was written in 2007 but the film was released last month. I’ve been following Alice – http://alicepyne.blogspot.co.uk/ Now that one is sad.

      1. As I understand it, the book is being re-released with the same title as the film. The copy I’ve got is called Before I die, but the new copies have Now is Good on instead. The Alice Pyne list is sad.

    2. I have the book. It is called “Now is Good”, but like you say, it was originally published as “Before I Die”. I am gutted to have missed the movie.
      From page 1, I just knew it was going to be Leukaemia, but the word Leukaemia isn’t actually mentioned until about halfway into the book. Having had Leukaemia myself aged 8, I really identified with the book. I knew how a lot of what is mentioned feels. I read the book cover to cover in less than 24 hours.
      I found the book heartbreaking. I held back the tears until 8 pages from the end and then I sobbed through the last pages. It is exactly how I picture death from Cancer feeling. The whole blur between dreams, thoughts and reality and nothingness in between. Needing to let go before it all stops. Having had cancer and witnessing somebody I love die from cancer, that is exactly how I think it must be and the author has captured it so simply.
      I do agree that the book “makes you feel happy to be alive” – but not because you aren’y that 16 year old, but because it makes you appreciate everything and everyone you have in your life and it makes you think about what is important, what is not, and which of your own goals you really want to pursue. xx

      1. Never apologise for long thoughtful comments!
        A refocussing. That wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Perhaps that’s why I’ve just grumped and whinged my way through a post metaphorically kicking myself up the backside.
        You’re right – the book is very simple, but also very moving. Definitely authentic if that’s a word that can be applied to fiction.

    3. interesting point about the young not wanting to to die… when I was 17/18 I’d have been quite happy to die. I’m still not afraid of dying, but far more fond of living and have a much stronger grasp on life!
      Agatha Christie had a character in one of her books once, who commented about how actually it was the young who tended to fade away, and the old who selfishly clung onto life, which made sense to me – if you’ve lived that long you’ve got used to it, and used to hanging on to it!
      Still, both views are sweeping statements that will never apply to all, I suppose!

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