not quite good enough

I think I’m getting the hang of the new role, in some areas anyway. Apparently some of the children have been telling their parents that they have a new teacher and she’s nice, so that’s quite a glowing recommendation 🙂 And parents have spoken positively to me, particularly about my phone manner!

The two biggest critics, are, as ever, my own offspring. It took nearly an hour to extricate Small this evening and was very traumatic all round, and I had Big in tears earlier today when I failed to present a tutorial in how to write a civilisation type game in 30 mins flat. Tbh, I’m not a games programmer – I think I’m a fairly good programmer, but I’m not actually all that gifted, I’m just quicker than most ppl at acquiring and remembering details, which tends to make you look pretty strong in a team. I know that games programming is an art form in itself and I don’t really know where to start with Big – I’ve twittered for assistance and now this is a blogpost requesting the same, any ideas gratefully received.

In other news, Small’s social life is taking off – we’ve now moved within walking distance of two of his ex-classmates, so many playdates to the park are hopefully in the offing. Big is not quite so well served although we are nearer to offthepath, but there are offers of tea and early evenings when I’m working on with a couple of her classmates, and she’s another new one starting next week, so you never know.

And that’s about all I have energy for – I’m slightly subdued tonight, due to the traumas of feeling that I’m failing my own children atm, and I’m not quite sure why. I know that there’s an awful lot going on for them right now, but I just wish I could make it easier for them.


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Comments

6 responses to “not quite good enough”

  1. I think you’re doing fantastically well. I also think this term is a settling in term for all 4 of you and then you will have the summer to regroup and consolidate yourselves as a family and September will seem pretty routine-like. I admire you tremendously in many ways so if you go all maudlin on me I will get cross 🙂
    Keep smiling. It releases positive endorphines 🙂
    xx

  2. I’m with Michelle, it will take longer than a few weeks to settle down, especially having moved house etc. as well.

  3. plus, you are always quite hard on yourself! I think the whole thing will eventually be really good for the kids so don’t feel you are failing them, it’s just part of the process I guess.

  4. t-bird anni avatar
    t-bird anni

    agree with Sarah, you do tend to be over critical of yourself and kids are always a parent’s worst critic! They will get used to sharing you and sharing their school with you honest!

  5. “Well, duh!” he said, all helpful-like.

  6. Re. games programming – I think art as in art form is the important part. Things like drawing out what the screen should look like and how things should move, or if it’s a bigger thing what the map of the world is (rather ambitious). Also drawing out the main characters on paper first too. Then, when you’ve got that all to your satisfaction, start worrying about using the computer to turn it into a game. I.e. mock the thing up on paper first, and then go to the computer. As I’m rubbish at drawing I’ve never managed even the first part!
    Obviously it won’t be long before she’s into advanced collision detection, intelligent non-player characters, natural language processing, rendering hair and water in a photo-realistic way… Good luck, and I’m glad that your new life is continuing well.

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