Not from tomorrow

From right now.

I am changing. Tonight I have not covered myself in glory. Instead of understanding my child, empathising with him, helping him, I shouted at him and made him cry.

Yes, I apologised. Yes, I did what I could to sort out immediate problems, but when it comes down to it, my attitude wasn’t good enough.

So I’m tired, with an achy arm post flu vax, and yes, I’m pregnant. So what? He didn’t ask for any of that, and he deserves better. And from now on he is getting better. They all are.

And to prove it, before I sat down to write this, I did half the washing up, found money for the fish and chips, and sorted out a coat issue (that I caused).

Do you know what really made me think I have to change? Smallest sat in the car apologising for shouting at me. She shouldn’t know how to shout, and she shouldn’t have learnt how to apologise for it.

Must, and will, do better. Not from tomorrow, from right now.