I should be pleased that Big is dancing around so actively to my Eric Clapton. It’s great that she’s getting exercise and activity on such a grey and stuffy day. But she keeps making my chair bounce….
Now we’re listening to Tears in Heaven. One of my favourite songs, but I don’t have to be feeling very down for it to make me cry, which it is doing right now. She’s stopped dancing and is standing leaning on me, being comforting. Not sure whether to explain the story behind the song or not.
Lots of duplo today. Big has learnt about lintels. She’s also getting rather good at this reading lark, being able to spot her name on this page over my shoulder, and getting increasingly intrigued at what I’m typing. I foresee a change to editorial policy in the non too distant future :-/
Small, when he builds, colour codes his towers, which amuses me for no apparent reason. He’s branching out into imaginative play – today his two pieces of toast were talking to each other 😉 and there were long involved games when they both had duplo houses.
Hm, shouldn’t have told her the Clapton background, she doesn’t feel like dancing any more. But felt I had to explain the tears dripping down my face. And now we’re having a deep and difficult conversation about what happens after death.
And friends that she *still* remembers from her first nursery, notably one little girl who has now taken on near legendary status as being *the* person she wants to play with but never can.
Sigh. Time to think about tea.
Managed a whole eight minutes of tidying earlier, making a start on the dining room, but was a bit stymied when two children came to join in. Bleargh. Will have to do this room too. Why am I such a hopeless slob???
Comments
16 responses to “Music appreciation”
“Why am I such a hopeless slob???” – dunno, but you are in good company 😉
We did The Atom Bomb over lunch… wait for that to rear its ugly head over bedtime. Hm.
Fran reads my blog now, which is slightly disturbing. I’ve decided that when she is 8 (completely random decision) i’ll ask her about it and edit accordingly.
Hopeless slobs over here too – was most impressed with a whole 8 minutes of tidying! 😉
Life’s too short to dust. That’s why we buy our children feather dusters and tell them it’s fun. lol
Have also decided it’s too short to iron, vacuum, sort, organise or otherwise engage in domesticity. So you’re in good company.
Fielded another ‘but is Grandma going to die then if she’s not getting better?’ question the other day too. I’m such a coward.
I figured I could do 8 minutes – I set a timer! lol at the duster thing though.
Don’t think I’m going to get by til Big is 8, given Small’s facility with a browser I fully expect to come in one evening and find them tootling round the blogring together. 😕
Slobbishness is good, don’t knock it 😉 And what is this dusting of which you speak? But I like the timer approach 🙂
I like the pieces of toast talking to each other 😀 I’m glad I’m not the only person that has conversational food.
The awkward conversations never happen at an opportune moment for us adults but I have always taken the view that if she asks, she gets the truthful answer. Better to be honest IMHO.
Kris, I’ve had to explain the death of both of small persons’ grandparents; her granny was worst last year after a short but very painful death. If you don’t mind an unsolicited opinion (And Jax doesn’t mind me offering here) – its easier to face those questions head on as your children will thank you for being honest with them.
Difficult to be honest though, when you don’t know the answers. I don’t *know* what happens after death, I don’t have any strong beliefs about it all, so the conversations are increasingly awkward as I’ve no happy ending to offer iyswim.
Claire, your small person is quite a bit older than Kris’s small ppl, which on some levels I think can make it more difficult. Shouldn’t imagine Kris will mind your opinion being offered though, and I certainly don’t.
I don’t mind an opinion being offered in the slightest – all observations gratefully received! Especially as we are facing the prospect of losing two grandparents within a year.
I have my own beliefs on what happens ‘after’, but it’s still next to impossible to figure out how to talk to a 6 year old about it.
Sadly we’ve been through it several times (4 great grandparents + more, with the eldest child ranging in age from 1 1/2 to 7) in the last few years, and maybe I’m just weird, but I haven’t found it difficult. Maybe brutal honesty just comes naturally to me 😉 – no, seriously, I have just always been totally honest, answered all questions as deeply as they seem to need them answered, and so on – much like with any other subject.
The really difficult times have been not around deaths happening, but when both the big girls have (separately) been very upset for a period by the idea of themselves and the people they love dying. All I could do then was agree that yes, it’s horribly sad, and sit and hold them whilst they were upset.
We’ve sat and cried together at stories of people dying, and so on. I’ve told them what I believe about what happens afterwards, and I’ve told them what various other people believe – atm the big two ‘believe’ in the Christian model as that’s what they find most comforting, I think.
((((Kris)))) – must be grim though. But perhaps if you take the plunge one day and just be honest, it won’t be as hard as you think.
Kris – small person was 5 when her grandpa died suddenly and unexpectedly in the night. It was such a shock and I was so unprepared for it, that I didn’t have the chance to think of a way to tell her ‘gently’. On reflection, when my mum died last year, small person was possibly more prepared for it because ever since my dad’s death, I had warned her that her granny would not live forever. Nonetheless, she went from healthy to death in 6 weeks which still wasn’t enough time to come to terms with the ending of a life, not for me nor small person. I reallly don’t think it gets easier with age.
Jax – I have always told small person that what happens when someone dies depends on what you as a person believe. I have explained what others believe and what I believe, then left her to make up her own mind. But the one thing I have been *very* clear about it this: she will *always* carry her grandparents (and indeed anyone else close to her that dies) in her heart and mind forever. No one can take away her memories and the happiness they bring, so it doesn’t really matter what happens after death, the person you loved is always with you. My mum also gave small person a favourite sweater of my dad’s to keep which she still has. That helped with the pain 🙂
HTH either or both of you 🙂
Yes, I have not-so small person reading over my shoulder at times, which can be awkward, in fact I have now made radical changes to my blog set up (wonder if anyone will notice) which should make it more family friendly!. she has suddenly taught herself to edit HTML (to put links on her blog and help someone else set up a blog);)
Yes, I think honesty is the best policy regarding telling children things, but on a need to know basis, and I think it’s ok to say ‘I dont know’- I do it all the time. In fact, sometimes, when I’m being bombarded by question after question, and i say, ‘hold on, you havent given me enough time to answer’, I realise that a simple, short answer is all they want.
I had to do the close friend dying thing many years ago with a then 3-year old, who took it much more easily than I did.- it’s often easier for young children than we expect.
..and as for ‘slob’… it only needs to be as tidy as you need it to be.. my sister has a really good poem on the wall about children being more important than housework, I’ll have to ask her for it… if she can find it 😆
Re: blogring shoulder surfing
Hmmn…, seems to be a market niche for rot13 spex.
Re: death
Sharing with your kids where you’re at wrt Big Questions (modulo appropriate humility given our limited vantage point) seems to me to be the most important thing.
looks like small has a natural mathematics flair 🙂
thanks for the advice from Tim – will do. What a thing to happen.
Dawniy
I’m exactly the same as Alison on these matters (honest in all areas actually), never had any trouble either. Ghosts hassle Pea occasionally but not for long.
BTW- thanks so much for my blog rescue 🙂 Serious situation occured, which is now hopefully under control but I need the blog to remain totally passworded. please can you send me the passwords when you get the chance. No hurry :-).
We have always taken the brutally honest approach too. As yet the kids have not lost someone close to them but we have talked about death often. As an atheist I don’t personally feel at all bad that I cannot offer them a ‘happy ending’. In our view death just ‘is’ and we talk a lot about how sad that makes people feel when they lose someone.
What I find much more painful to talk about is the vile things people are capable of doing to each other. I always end up feeling somehow ashamed that we haven’t made a kinder world to bring our kids into.
If you want to know why so many of our blog photos are close ups it is often to avoid displaying the slobby nature of our house! P often draws pictures in the dust on the tv screen.
Ros, I’ve already sent you the passwords and stuff, minutes after I set them, did you not get them?
Ping me via email and I’ll resend.
Keeps returning my mail!
Hm. That’s a bit odd, given that the mail from you got through yesterday. Re-sent the details to both email addys I have for you anyway.