Just with soa. Walked down with her in the wrap, bought myself an exorbitantly priced mocha and sat on the edge of the prom, feeding her sultanas and just looking around.
I wonder whether she’ll remember our time together like this. Whether holding her close and spending time with her will make a difference to her in the long run, give her the roots and wings that we’re all supposed to want to give our children.
10 years ago I didn’t know about wraps. I didn’t know about taking time. I had plans to have a career as well as children, and the only thing I did know about was breastfeeding, so I did that, with gritted teeth, toes curling and from time to time tears pouring down my face. But I’m stubborn, so I did it for a year.
Somehow since then I’ve uncurled. Relaxed. Become a little more patient, a lot more in tune, and a tiny bit more touchy feely. And I’ve given up my career. I love having soa sitting on my hip, or strapped to my front, or perched on my bag. I enjoyed sitting with her just looking out over the sea, and on a whim I held the camera in front of her to see what she was seeing.
There were waves breaking on the beach a few feet from where we were sitting.
Other ppl enjoying the beach and the sea
The pier and a fabulous sky. (Not really at a funny angle, turns out it’s difficult taking pictures from someone else’s viewpoint.)
Our shopping and my coffee cup. Which I did pick up and take away with me.
and oh yeah, that funny woman who is usually behind the camera.
Can you tell it was a bit windy?
It was a good way to spend half an hour though, on a Sunday afternoon, just enjoying time and the baby’s company. I know she won’t remember that day, that afternoon, that trip, but perhaps she’ll remember my time, my voice, my holding her and my love. I can but hope.
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