Good weekend.

Big was out for the night Friday night, then I picked her up for swimming Saturday morning. Slight glitch was that it was her teacher’s birthday so she’d taken a day off, and there was a standin. The good news is that this was the chap who taught Big in the summer, lovely man, and not a complete stranger. Still took some very fast talking to get her into the pool though 🙁

Quite frankly, it was a bit of a waste of time. I think he only got them to swim two widths – most of the time was spent in a sort of circle time taking it in turns to float on their fronts or backs. Bit disappointing this close to the end of the course though. He did say though that it already says in the folder that she’s passed level two, so we’re definitely on for moving up in January.

Then back home, to race around madly and get ready to drive to Leeds for a christmas party with some feminist parents.

Now, I’ve been pondering this all day. So yesterday, I got in a car to drive for just over an hour (stopping to pick someone up on the way) and spend the afternoon and early evening with a group of ppl I’ve only met online before. Disregarding the fact that I could have been delivering myself and younger offspring into the clutches of a bunch of axe wielding maniacs ;), let’s move on to discuss how I can feel so comfortable with a group of ppl I’ve never met and such an alien on the phone to my sister this morning? Hm. I mean, there were a few moments when I didn’t have anything to say or anyone to say anything too yesterday, and if I hadn’t had Small to kind of hide behind when we first got there, I’d have been a lot less comfortable, but over all, it was OK. And for someone as chronically shy as I am (I am you know, I know it doesn’t always look that way 😉 ) that is saying rather a lot.

So there you go. I drove back in the car thinking about all of this, and realising that I am really rather happy in my skin these days. Yes, I’ve been very down recently, but it’s mainly been about external stuff – difficulties with Big, lack of funds, Tim’s injury. Not about who or what I am. Came as quite a shock to discover I appear to have grown to be comfortable with myself when I wasn’t paying attention. Most of this grew out of a discussion that most of the group was having – what are the things you haven’t done that you wish you had? And I couldn’t really think of anything…is that sad? Apart from getting a book published (so I guess I know what my New Year resolution ought to be!) and maybe travelling a bit more, I don’t feel that I’m lacking much in life experiences any more.

So that was fairly momentous. Has left me rather dazed for most of the day actually. Which is good, in a way.

I was having my official birthday today, courtesy of the fact that Tim got very confused with dates, and sent Big to bed convinced that today is my birthday. (It isn’t – don’t get older til Tues!) Seemed a shame to burst her bubble though, so I didn’t. I got flowers, and a lovely card, and a very large bar of chocolate….and I couldn’t think of anything else I wanted. (Well, the mortgage paid off and a house in Meltham would be nice… lol) We’ve had a lovely quiet day. Tim was recovering from his excesses of yesterday (I got home from the party to a clean and tidy kitchen – he even cleaned the oven and did all the washing up – I LOVE that man!) and we all had a long lie in. Big and I went into Christmas card production mode this afternoon – half way through making about 50 atm.

After tea my parents turned up with a bag of clothes for me and Tim, a chequebook for Christmas and some chocolates from their holiday. Must work out where I put the cheque! Big pinned mother to the sofa with a book on castles, part of our recent library haul, and I discovered an ethical dilemma – one of the books in the pile that the library sold to us wasn’t for sale. Nice one as well, an art reference book with lots of fabulous piccies. It was definitely in the crates, and the librarians didn’t check the books, just counted them and charged me for 12 books. Given it was their responsibility, what should I do now? I bought it in good faith… (I’ve already made my decision, but I’ll be interested to see what you all think).

Small was tired again tonight and after his short bath was desperate for his milk. Which was interesting – mother hadn’t known that I’m still feeding him, as the evening feed is the only one he still has. I like this – we still have the closeness, but I don’t feel hemmed in by feeding at all. Best of all worlds. But I did get the impression that mother thought it was rather weird. 🙁

Oh well. Not gonna stop me now! Right, as we’re off out and about tomorrow, I’d better clear off to bed.