French children don't throw food – review.

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4 responses to “French children don't throw food – review.”

1. 

   Ruth J

   7 February 2012

   The night feeding isn’t a prerequisite to successfully breastfeeding. Both of mine slept through from very early on – 2 weeks for DD, 3 days for DS – without it seeming to affect supply particularly. They both fed almost constantly all morning to compensate. At the 4-5 month stage, they both started waking at 4am, which was a pretty nasty shock, but not really prior to that. At 12 weeks, Stupid Health Visitor gave me a row for letting DS sleep for ten hour stretches, but she was an idiot. Bottom line, though, wa that both of mine were pretty big babies, and they slept through because they could.

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   1. 

      Jax

      7 February 2012

      All of mine have woken for night feeds so far, so I’m guessing that that is the pattern I’ll be keeping. Also, it’s not that you ignored their waking is it? The book is suggesting that the French leave the child to settle and they learn to sleep through of their own accord, not that they don’t wake up at all.

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      1. 

         Ruth J

         25 April 2012

         Did I ignore them? Hmmm. Good question. They certainly had to show a certain amount of commitment to get me out of bed, but I didn’t leave them screaming. Just that if they didn’t manage to wake me up sufficiently, I probably wouldn’t get up and feed them (not bed-sharers at that point).

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2. 

   Laura C

   25 April 2012

   I have read the book French Children Don’t Throw Food and found many but not all observations to be true to a point, but I would question some of the overly positive rationales she provides for them. I think that she is maybe missing an essential point, that France is essenitally a very parent-centred society, supported by the State (subsidised creches from 3 months, expectations that mothers will work when their babies are young, very long school days and an emphasis on uniformity. Whilst children may appear better behaved, I would also question their levels of happiness, curiosity and ethical and moral education that goes beyond saying ‘bonjour’. I am Irish with a French husband and three children and we have spent time in both countries. What I have observed from my time in France vs. Ireland are the following differences:
   – French parents intervene less and are more likely let their children play alone in the playground. They may fight, push other toddlers and be mean to each other when their parents are not looking, but become more adept at not getting caught (not too hard if your mother is busy having coffee and chatting). I find French parents very strict about some things (that encroach on parents’ pleasure), but less so if it involves children being mean to each other. In other words, it seems to centre more on what is annoying for the parents and possibly a little less on encouraging children to be kind to each other.
   – Yes French babies do definitely (and are expected to ) sleep through the night early. But maybe Pamela Druckermann forgot to mention that not only do many parents not breast feed, they are also encouraged to put cereals in the bottle at an early age in the evening, which stops them getting hungry at night. My mother in law told me to feed my 4 month old baby a spoon of formula powder on its own to get him to sleep! I also know a minority of French parents who admit they don’t get up to feed their babies as they need to learnt to sleep without feeding.
   – It is possibly easier to produce children who conform to this ‘ideal’ she talks about when the whole system supports it. Alternative methods and encouraging more independent thought are not necessarily encouraged.
   – Overall I have found many French children to be a little submissive with adults and sometimes a little afraid compared to Irish children who interact very freely and are confident in their dealings with adults.
   I agree however with the approach to meals and healthy eating, but I don’t think that is an exclusively French thing and possibly she is comparing with a particular American segment. Again it is easier when the whole system supports it. We follow very ‘French’ eating habits in our house, but it can be difficult when it is not supported by wider society. Entertaining reading, yes, but take some of it with a grain of salt and note also that much of it does not apply to my experiences of rural France. The notion of French parents being calm and explaining everything to their children is not something I have witnessed – rather plenty of shouting, smacking children and telling them to go away and leave the parents alone. I also find much more separation of generations in France and frequently we are told when we are invited somewhere ‘on va faire manger les enfants d’abord’ (we are going to make the children eat beforehand) and they may be fed something bland and not very healthy and we adults sit down to a gourmet meal an hour later whilst the chidlren are told to run off and play. The result I find – much less interaction between adults and children and I’m not so sure that’s a brilliant thing to admire!

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