Today I took the children to a party, one of Small’s almost peer group at school. I made a small effort to dress up for the occasion – perhaps I’d have felt better if I’d gone in my usual beat up cords and a slobby shirt. At least I wouldn’t feel like I’d tried and missed 🙁
You know, I think home education has spoiled me. I’d got used to not ever feeling completely out of the loop, even though I still usually feel like I’m somewhere on the fringes. But it’s the fringes of a not completely cohesive group, more a loose association, than a peer group. If it weren’t for home education, lots of us have little else in common. Some have religion, some don’t. Politics differ. Lifestyles and choices. And so on.
But today I was in a group of casually elegant ppl, and I so don’t fit in. I can’t wear a wrap dress over jeans, don’t know how to accessorise with a skinny knot scarf, and have never wafted when 8 months pregnant. Don’t get me wrong, they were lovely, friendly, welcoming ppl, and it’s completely not their fault I came home with a desperate need for chocolate and loathing for that need. I guess that would be the fall I needed after feeling a bit pleased with myself yesterday :/
Anyway, the children had a wonderful time, after Big got over her momentary shyness. Small doesn’t really bother with shy, he just went and got stuck into a toybox. Lots of ppl asked how old Big was, and were surprised to hear just 6. And not just because she’s tall apparently, because of how mature and helpful she was with the younger children. 🙂 She does like to help with smaller children, and was being particularly thoughtful today.
We had a bit of a chat last night as well – I’ve been gently prodding her to do something *other* than watching endless cartoons on her days at home. Last night she decided she would like to start a project on castles – following building a rather excellent one out of duplo.
Which also reminds me that we had Kirsty round last night for tea, and Big and Marcus got on unnervingly well, meaning that Kirsty and I actually got to chat. Very pleasant evening in fact, shame we can’t do it often like we used to.
So tonight I’ve been looking at castle crafts, and working out what we’ve got kicking around the place to start with. Should have got Tim to take a picture of her castle – it’s really rather good.
And tomorrow I’m going to try to find my copy of 120 Great History Projects
because I’m sure there’s some castles stuff in there as well.
Comments
9 responses to “Feeling old and frumpy.”
My sympathies Jax. I often have that old and frumpy feeling. And those gals that pull off the floaty stuff when they are preggers and the wrapover thing with accessories..well, I guess I’ll never know their secret…they are all so cliquey and enigmatic. Basically they don’t give anything away do they? I’d rather be with you in a field under a star banner than them any day. You are gorgeous….and I have seen the photographs so i know you are. xxx
Aw, EF, that’s lovely. Thanks.
Being a wrap over accessory wearer myself I can pass on any tips but the bigegst one of all is to be yourself and wear what you feel comfortable in. I can honestly say not a great deal of thought goes into putting my outfits together I just seem to know.
Hm, the problem there being that what I feel comfortable in makes me get looked at funny 😉
I dunno whether I was reading a book the day they covered this in junior school, or whether there is something genetically missing in my makeup, but I just don’t get this stuff. I had enough comments directed my way from my family to mean that I am painfully aware that I don’t fit in – one of the favourites being that one of my sisters could wear a sack and look fabulous and I could wear designer and look like I was wearing a sack.
But I’m tired of looking boring. bleargh, I’ll be better in a few days when I stop feeling like someone rung me out.
I took exception to this bit of your post:
I guess that would be the fall I needed after feeling a bit pleased with myself yesterday :/
feeling pleased with yourself should be something you get perpetuated and congratulated on, not knocked out of you!!
jax, I’ve seen you dressed up and dressed down – dressed up you look beautiful and sitting in a field in cut off jeans you are just as beautiful, when I can’t see you at all cos you’re online and I’m just reading your words, you are still beautiful. Frankly fitting in is for people who don’t have the imagination to be themselves – carry on being ‘Just Jax’ cos you’re really rather good at that and I can’t imagine anyone else coming close 🙂 x
Castles thing sounds good.
If its any help (which it probably isn’t but I’ll waffle anyway) I have felt much like you all my life compared to my tall skinny sister. Then recently (ie last couple of weeks recent!) I have kind of been thinking “well no-one talks to me anyway so whats the point” and I just wear whatever I have on hand and you know the looks haven’t got any stranger, the lady in B&Q thought I was under 21 and I’ve had 2 compliments from 10/11yo girls which, IIRC, are pretty hard to come by once you are over 18 😉 so actually its working out pretty well. I am still not confident enough to wear the wrap dress on jeans (but I really want to!) but maybe with enough practise of the “take me or leave me” attitude I’ll do it. Now if only I could carry this off in front of family I’d be fine LOL!
And btw, you’re not allowed to feel *old*!
I think lack of time has a lot to do with it – when you are trying to clothes shop with children, or in a snatched moment, you don’t have time to really look at stuff, to experiment and try on something different. You just grab nice easy safe stuff that you know you can wear. Well, I know this happens to me anyway!
Hi Jax, first time I’ve been able to connect to the outside world in a week (aargh!!) and I have not only lots of great books on castles you’re welcome to borrow, but also (ahem) your 120 great history projects book. Might see you next week …
I so know what you mean about the clothes thing. Mostly I don’t care any more, but sometimes I do.
Ah, is *that* where it is? No worries, stop me excavating any further 😉
Big would very much like to see you next week.