Fate

This post is inspired by the Writing Workshop. (Which also has a prompt inspired by one of my posts 😀 )

Is there anything in my life that feels fated at the moment?

Well, no.

Actually, I feel like somehow I’ve stepped outside of fate. I’m not who I planned to be, or who I hoped to be. I’m not any of the places I’d love to be or thought I might end up – no living down the dell and raising cats, no terrace house in Durham, instead I’m having to grow to love living at the seaside and raising children.

Loving raising children isn’t difficult it appears. I wish I’d known 10 years ago that babies are happier if you just take your time and hold them close. But that wasn’t who I was 10 years ago, and it’s taken me 10 years and an awful lots of changes to get to be the person who can do that. Maybe this is what fate had in mind for me, that eventually, everything would start to make sense.

It’s taken its time getting to the point. And there were some big sidesteps along the way. Did I have to have my heart broken to make room for Tim to step into my life? It’s been worth it, but I suppose I’d have liked to have known that it would be all those years ago. That’s not how fate works though, is it?

I couldn’t know that after three babies who couldn’t be, there’d be a baby who is. I couldn’t know that fate had to take away a sister and a career change, and then give us a house and a place to heal.

Was that all fate? No. I don’t believe in fate. I just believe in life. And living it.