I see a lot of ppl on twitter sharing their blog posts and asking for comments or views. (I do the sharing myself, but very rarely ask for anything, unless it’s a competition or charity post.) And I see some ppl in comments saying things like lovely picture, mine is at…
And it makes me stop and think. Blogging for me started out as community. And it’s great to have friends pop around to read, and lovely when they share their thoughts on what they’ve read. I’ve taken to trying to respond to comments – it seems only polite. But is it also polite to follow the link back to their blog and see what they’ve got to say? I do know that the other week when I made a huge effort and commented on over 100 #SilentSunday posts I didn’t get nearly that many comments on mine. So I’m guessing most ppl don’t follow those links back, seems a bit of a shame.
So I was pondering – do you do it? If you ask for comments and views, do you go out and give them as well?
I’ve also noticed that ppl who do carnivals and some linkies often share or tweet the posts that ppl have submitted to them. Which is a nice way of repaying the effort that the submitters have put in. But does anyone ever just share a post that you enjoyed well enough to comment on? Or would twitter too quickly become a heap of friends tweeting each others posts?
Just wondering. Is there a way to take some of the competitive edge out of the blogging and the tweeting and build some of the community back in? Would love to hear your thoughts 😉
Comments
43 responses to “Comment reciprocity?”
I try to respond to all comments, even if it’s just: Thanks soandso or a group reply. I hate it when comments are so overtly canvassing for themselves: love yours mine’s at…. I cringe when I see it and rarely go to see – except for silent Sundays which I do visit as it only takes a sec, and I comment on theirs as well. If there is a new commenter after my post, I will always check them out and try to leave a comment for them. And I often refer to blogs I have loved in my posts. Bottom line: I love the courtesy of reciprical viewing and commenting but I am less inclined to do so if I’m told to. It’s also stupid as the address they leave isn’t linked and the name at the top is anyway, whether you canvass or not.
@MidlifeSingleMum – I think you’ve hit the nail on the head there. It’s the being told to do it that makes it cringeworthy. Or maybe we’re just both awkward? There are some commenting systems that don’t let you leave your blog address, and I can understand sticking a link in the comment body in that situation but otherwise it just looks all wrong to me.
I try to respond to any comments made on my blog b/c I think it keeps people coming back. I like to know that what I leave as a comment is read on others’ pages. I put a link to my blog when filling out the comment form and if people want to go check it out, they can, but I don’t link back to it (though I just noticed an automatic link at the bottom of this comment? Not all pages do that. I just unchecked it.) I’m finding more and more and more blogs I enjoy reading. If something posted strikes me well enough, I comment. If not, I move on. I try to always check out someone’s link if they’ve made the effort of linking back to a specific post etc. but don’t always comment, unless am moved to do so. Wow. What a load of mumble jumble that was.
@Aroha it just seems polite somehow. And when I get my template sorted out and all these replies magically sit next to the original comments it’ll make much more sense too! The automatic link you’re talking about is a wordpress plugin called commentluv – it pulls the last post from the RSS feed of the site you’ve filled in the site box. Hope that makes sense. I do quite like it – and I do click through to ppl’s last posts from it. It also means that if I see the same person in more than one place I can see whether there’s a new post to go check out.
Not mumble jumble – made plenty of sense to me!
yes, I do try to reciprocate by visiting their blog in an attempt to be polite and friendly in a good etiquette type of way!
However, I am a very small and new blogger with not many comments and I can imagine this would much more difficult and time consuming for a big blogger who regularly gets hundreds of comments. 🙂
@Camille yes, etiquette. Just good manners, that’s what I was thinking of.
How do you get to be a really big blogger though if you don’t build these kinds of links?
I never visit a commenters blog if they ask me to. If they leave a comment and reference a blog post that might be of interest that is fine, but leaving a comment then just a blatant request to leave a comment on their blog is of no interest to me.
I do have a commenting strategy. It is quite simple, if the blog post has struck a chord with me and I can think of something to write that I think will add value and I have time and they don’t use word verification then I will do so.
Yes it’s great when someone comes back to my blog and comments but it isn’t mandatory.
If someone comments on my blog and there is a blog link then I will visit them to see if their blog is of interest to me.
Oh and re Twitter, I try to Rt links to posts that are extra special. It isn’t linked to whether or not I have commented but whether I think it is brilliantly written, an original topic, must read etc.
Oh and if I know someone uses word verification on their blog I often tweet a reply to get round it.
@GeekyMummy that word verification thing is a pain isn’t it? My comment strategy here is that ppl’s first comments go into moderation, and after that you’ve got pretty much free rein. There are some blacklisted words and too many links will result in moderation too. Comment length can impact it – haven’t quite worked that one out.
I’ve started tweeting more links of other ppl’s posts – I think it is a good way to build community and possibly share friendships. Just hoping that I don’t annoy anyone too much with it.
Part of my own commenting strategy is that I’ll try to comment on something I enjoyed, especially if it’s received few comments. If there’s already loads I’ll probably move on. I’m not saying that going back should be mandatory just that it would seem polite.
Geeky Mummy – yes, I have got very irritated recently by a type of “my effort is here…” and a link. I’m not an idiot, I can follow a link from the proper place 😀
I miss comments from my real friends. I get less of them these days I think, or maybe I blog more, or maybe they say them elsewhere.
I always go back and look at a blog if someone comments and try to respond too. But there isn’t enough spare time for it all!
@Merry maybe a bit of all three? And I have noticed that commenting goes in phases. It dropped off a lot (as did blogging) when we all started using various other places for those quick over the fence moments.
Yes, the my effort is here comments grate horribly.
And yes, spare time can be somewhat lacking – this is the first chance I’ve had all day to get here and reply to these!
I generally reply all comments and definitely check out the commenter’s blog(evenif it is not on the same day)
When I see people’s tweets about their posts, if what are talking is of interest to me,I check them out. I also post mine,some visit this way,some don’t.As for Silent Sunday or The Gallery posts,there are so many people posting for these,and there is no way I can check out all of them.I check out the bloggers I read anyway and I check out the ones that leave a comment to mine and lastly, if I have time,I might check out the linky list and choose a few whose blog titles are interesting to me.
@Isil I don’t do the gallery mainly because there are so many entrants. And I’m not good at working to a theme. I enjoy Silent Sunday, though I do think that’s partly because I know Jay and it’s nice to support someone I like.
I am trying to make sure that I do visit more ppl’s blogs more regularly and leave meaningful comments, but it is hard!
It all depends for me. Sometimes I will comment, sometimes I won’t, for me it’s as simple as that really. Finding new people have commented on your blog can be a thrill (I must get out more) and it can be nice to go and have a nose at who has dropped by and see if there’s anything they have said that interests/resonates with you and strike up a conversation. But if that starts to feel like a chore or that people are only commenting in the hope you will comment too, well I don’t want to waste my time and I certainly don’t want to feel under pressure, as I’m well aware can happen.
I speak as someone who stopped blogging on a ‘mum blog’ in October last year after starting in 2005. I am naive and simplistic in real life about some things and I tend to see the good in people, but some of the neediness on show as people beg for comments, beg for views, beg for votes can get a bit much, and that’s before the arguments have started. 🙂
Sadly bad feeling can stem from people feeling they are being chastised for doing something in a different way than someone who has set themselves up as an expert. I’m not a fan of rules about what people should and shouldn’t do anywhere on blogs as if there’s a one size fits all approach, or a best way to do something or other – so much depends on what the blog is about, who it’s written by and what they are writing for.
I think it’s easy to overthink stuff and this can get you down (sorry I mean ‘you’ in general not anyone specific…:)
I’ve done one Gallery post ever and never taken part in a Silent Sunday post, but I would still count Tara and Jay as friends, (well I have known one of them 20 years.) This is important to me, not obsessing over who is coming from where to look at my blog, who is commenting etc, it’s all a bit too claustrophobic.
Not sure my ramblings make much sense, but I certainly do miss the days when you would write a post then tentatively email a blogging buddy asking what they thought! There wasn’t a freebie or a ranking in sight, it was sort of nice…I’m a fine one to talk, having benefited in loads of ways.
Okay, I’ll shut up. Bye. x
By the way, sorry meant to say, from a professional point of view, if I’m editing Ready for Ten or contributing at Parentdish, I will tweet links to new pieces published and may return to the same piece on Twitter to say there has been an interesting conversation or I may include an @whoever tweet to thank them for their comment/draw people’s attention to it, to keep the conversation going, and drive traffic to the site, there is a fine line between doing this as you have to be careful not to piss people off repeating the same stuff.
Well, this blog has been kicking around since 2003. I remember the times when only the ppl I knew ever visited or commented on it, and I remember the surprise when someone I’d never met started commenting. I’m sure there are probably lots of lurkers who’ve never ever said hi, and while that’s a tiny bit sad, it’s OK if that’s how they prefer it to be.
I’d never demand anyone commented – that wasn’t what I was trying to suggest. What I am saying though is that ppl who pimp their blogposts by saying things like “needs more views or comments” could maybe get further by building up a community and visiting other ppl’s blogs. Not because anyone should feel they have to track back to a link, but because it’s a nice thing to do. Share the support and love around a little.
It’s late, I’m tired, I have no idea whether that made any sense. It’s a lot like the original post then!
I know – and a fantastic and thoughtful blog it is too. 🙂
All I’m saying is that some people within any community will always appear to want to impose their view in general and lay the law down as it were, mainly all they can do is speak from their own experience, as they attempt to make a name for themselves. I’ve been guilty of it in the past – I even wrote a post once “Ten reasons I don’t comment on your blog” 🙂 (I won’t link to it…)
Other people follow the crowd, learn from others to adapt their approaches, copy it or whatever and a pretty one sided view becomes the norm, people are vociferous with their opinions and there’s a lot of noise, repetition and neediness – on Twitter you’ll see “Don’t miss this post!” or “you *must* read this post” – it gives me a heavy heart when it smacks of desperation.
To comment on a blog post, or even read it in the first place, for me, something has to be interesting/evocative or whatever, no amount of pimping will get me to read posts that wouldn’t interest me because of the subject matter or the way they are presented, or because sometimes someone is so obviously trying to promote themselves/cause controversy/pushing a commercial connection. I don’t read many mum blogs at all these days. I consider myself out of the loop and as there are only so many hours in the day, that has to be a good thing.
I want people to read anything I write because it’s interesting to them or enertaining, I consider a community to be something that’s supportive and helpful to each other so when competition for readers/comments/stats/ in league tables creeps in, that can have a negative effect. I am delighted to have made real life friends through blogging but if someone wants to try and get me to comment by telling me what I *should* read, then that’s going to put me off.
Last week a mental health blogger found something I wrote through a piece that featured me in the Independent, she left a deeply personal comment on a related piece on my blog and I immediately stopped what I was doing to comment on her latest blog post – because she made me stop and think and what she wrote was fascinating and eloquent. There was no “you must read this” etc – that’s when I’ll comment.
I by far prefer this spontaneous approach, like the comments here, a conversation can be natural and unforced, interesting etc, it can be promoted and continued via Twitter etc but where things can start to feel false is when people are commenting in the hope of boosting their own comments or whatever.
Now I am well aware I have gone on and on and on and I am very sorry about that, especially as I should have been getting on with something else.
Thanks for an interesting discussion, hope you have a great day. x
Hm. I really wasn’t thinking too much of the competition side of things when I wrote this, more the etiquette of the situation. I would like to see more community in blogging, but it will probably take time to evolve as so many new blogs are being set up by the day it seems.
Oh, and sorry to have distracted you from the things you *should* have been doing 😉 Likewise hopes for a good day.
It’s a very interesting discussion – I reckon etiquette in this instance clashes with competition that’s why I’ve gone on so much I think! If it was down purely to etiquette, what other etiquette should there ever be than do what you feel is right, with consideration and thought for others?
The rules for me are to read as many blogs as I find interesting. I couldn’t possibly comment on them all, just in the same way that I know all my readers don’t comment each day on my posts – the stats I can see in any analytics page show me that.
However, I do believe that if you only read blogs within one community then you will feel that you are linking up and/or retweeting each other’s post all the time.
Don’t shoot me but I’m going to leave you this link:
http://www.iamtypecast.com/2010/12/finding-your-blogging-feet.html
It is a blog post a wrote a while back about who I believe reads blogs and how you can interact with others (and yes, that is my diagram). Not everyone who reads is from the Parent Blogger world but they are more open to commenting. I know that the majority of my readers are “old school” when no-one used to comment on blogs but they read, move on and then come back for more if they find your content interesting.
Whilst comments received may be a measured metric in one or two rankings lists, they are not the be-all-and-end-all of blogging… although it is nice to know that someone has taken the time to respond to your thoughts after reading them. That, for me, is just as important as it keeps the conversation going.
I think you’ve slightly missed my point. I’m not trying to impose rules on anyone, what I’m trying to say is that I think rather than sitting asking for comments and views, ppl might find the whole community is more pleasant if they went out and did what they are asking others to do. Though obviously they may already have tried it and decided they like it the way they are doing it.
I visited your link – I never had a problem with relevant links being left, but I don’t draw my readers or blogs to read from one community at all. I have lots of blog buddies outside the parenting blog world, many of whom have blogs on the ring up to the left. The parenting blog community is exploding in size, and it’s natural that ppl will be trying to explore different ways of managing it all – I’m just suggesting some things for ppl to think about 🙂
Oh no, I think we’re saying the same thing – I was just being quite general. I leave far more comments than I get back but I don’t stop leaving them if I don’t get them back. In the same respect, I can’t/don’t/won’t comment on every single blog I read.
It’s natural for some people to analyse what is going on within the (parent) blogging world but also for others to say “I don’t care”. I bloomin’ love it when I get comments – it gives me a warm fuzzy feeling – and makes me want to write more when I start a conversation/discussion in the comments section of any blog (mine included). So it’s fair to assume that others feel the same way too.
Yes? Or am I still missing the point? Apologies if I am.
No, I think we’re just kind of talking across each other. I am slightly concerned that new bloggers might think it’s good to leave the come see me comments we’ve discussed in this thread, but I guess enough ppl will dislike them that eventually it will filter through.
Am I analysing what’s going on? Wasn’t really my intention. It was to query it, to suggest ways that we might all feel more pleasant, to start building community. And I think the response I’ve got says that quite a few ppl agree 🙂
This is a great post; I’m a newbie on the blogging block but I think of my blog a bit like my home. If someone comes in and talks to me I don’t ignore them. I can’t get around to comment on everything, but I do as much as I can and I tweet things I find of interest and to support people who’s blogs I have commented on. I thought the whole point of carnivals etc was to share link love so we should all be going around and leaving as many comments as we could. But not for the sake of it, just if we’re touched by something…. Ok, I’ve gone into Rambly nonsense mode LOL!
I think you hit the nail on the head there actually with your home analogy. I always think of reading ppl’s blogs as having a sneaky peek through their windows…
Difficult one, There are so many lovely blogs out there. I use a reader for my blogs and read every 2 days or so, I comment on things that stand out to me, or when I really feel I have something to share.
Re comments on my blog I always sometime in the week go over my posts and comments received, comment back on my own blog and then visit theirs and follow if they are new and I like, and gibe them a comment in one of their posts that means something to me, Or something I would like to share.
I too started blogging, firstly to share my experiences as a n expat in Holland, but also just to have a place to share everyday life and create memories for the future. It is nice to have comments no and then but I do think you can easily get into all the competition that goes with blogging
It is easy to get swept away from your original starting point in blogging, that’s for sure. But I try to keep coming back to touch base every so often, and for me it’s at least partly about community.
I generally respond to comments on my blog. I share my posts on twitter, but only occasionally ask for followers (still that lonesome one short of 30 lol)
But in terms of commenting on other blogs, I only comment if I have something to say. If a silentsunday picture particularly strikes me I’ll say so, or if I have a response to the written post I’ll add it, but otherwise I’ll read, enjoy and float on past – same as people do with my blog.
I tend to get about 40-100 views on a good day, but a comment only every fortnight or so if I’m lucky and then generally from people I know and interact with. I’d love more interaction, but can appreciate that I’m just as much of a consumer as everyone else!
🙂
Hm. Do you think if you commented more ppl might get around to commenting more on yours? it’s all about building connections isn’t it? Must pop over and see how your potatoes are doing!
I don’t know – I just like to only comment if I have something to say!!
I think one reason people post very long replies or comments as a post on their own blog is because blogger software has a bad track record on swallowing big lumps of text without warning so it is seen as safer.
I would only think following a link rude if I found lots of ads when I arrived there.
Oh, I’m not talking about long replies or comments as posts being an issue – that’s a great way to build a community especially if you give a HT in your post to whoever inspired you and yes, drop them a comment with a link to your response. What ppl aren’t liking are the type of comments that have started to appear that say “great pic/post/whatever. My effort is at randomblog.url” So there’s nothing of substance to the comment, it’s just a placeholder to link to their blog. Particularly odd on a blog set up like mine which will link to someone’s most recent post if they’ve put in their blog url anyway, via the commentluv plugin.
I’m trying to be better at commenting these days. I’ve got out of the habit – mainly because I do most of my RSS reading via mobile devices these days rather than anything with keyboard which puts an extra barrier there.
Plus, Twitter has made me lazy – easier to discuss stuff on there in the short form than bother writing a longer comment.
You are right, though, not so good for community which is why I’m trying to make more of an effort again.
I do try and check commenters sites though and often subscribe to the RSS even if I only skim and/or lurk.
yeah, reading on a phone does make life difficult – I try to favourite tweets that link me to posts I enjoyed so I can go back and comment later, but it’s finding the time later that can be hard.
Lots of interesting discussion in the comments here lol. I do return every comment however for at least a year I’ve had a backlog of comments to return and often the reciprocal comment may happen a long time after the comment was left. So regular commenters on my blog may leave a comment on several posts over a few weeks and then I’ll leave several comments all in one commenting session on their blog. My intention though is that one day I’ll catch up and get back to returning all comments within a few days again!
It’s so easy to fall behind isn’t it, particularly if you say something interesting one day 😉 Glad you’ve enjoyed the discussion anyway.
I’m turned off right away when reading a post and seeing another commenter has commented mainly for the purpose of leaving a link. Of course, if it’s something that genuinely has to do with the topic being discussed, that’s one thing but mindless marketing is another. That’s not community. I always try to visit commenters sites and leave a genuine comment to let them know I’ve been to visit. I also often tweet or Facebook posts that are particularly outstanding. I think we just have to accept that some people will see it as a community thing and others will get competitive and just choose our reading accordingly…
so do you think we should remove comments of that format? I don’t currently, though I have been known in the dim and distant past, to leave the comment and remove the link 😉
I am still really new to blogging so I’m not sure of all the etiquette to be honest. I think there is a real competitive edge to blogging, which has only become apparent to me recently. I started my blog for me, a few friends were followers and now I have a couple more. I really enjoy reading others blogs, especially about home educating and craft. They give me inspiration and idea’s when I’m feeling un-inspirational myself. Plus Its nice to know others out there have bad/good days just the same as me. I love finding people’s blogs to follow and I won’t lie-I love it when people comment on my blog. I don’t leave link’s to my blog usually because I know that if someone wants to read my blog then they will click on my profile. Sometimes it all feels a little bit too ‘clicky’ like the playground at school and I can feel a bit ‘down’ about it. But I try to do my blog for myself and my family and hope there is something in there that will appeal to others. I think the idea of a community feel would be great though, just not sure if that’s possible through a blog?
In this instance, leaving a link to your blog in the third entry box would have been what would make your profile clickable. It’s only leaving links in the comment box that ppl are debating 🙂
Blogrings used to be a lot bigger than they are now, in that there were lots to choose from. But they are quite a lot of work to maintain, and I readily admit that the one ring above needs some work atm. That was a great way of building community though, and I do intend to start putting some effort in in that direction again.
As someone who is an avid reader of blogs, but a non-blogger myself, I’d never before thought much about commenting etiquette – my motivation for leaving a comment (which I very rarely do) would be if I felt I had something genuinely useful to contribute, or if a post had particularly moved me. I don’t think I realised, until reading the conversation here, how much bloggers value feedback and interaction with their readers. I think I might comment more in the future because I do appreciate the hard work that goes into blogging (having considered and dismissed the idea of doing it myself!) and I have gained so much from my time reading other people’s blogs.
(BTW: this is my first visit to your blog – via twitter – so the fact you have not until now seen a comment from me, does not reflect on the quality of your posts!)
Thanks for taking the time to comment here, and I’m glad that the post was interesting and useful to you. Hope you’ll pop back again from time to time 🙂