Yesterday I carelessly aquired another 200 books. Today it was an extra child 😉
Was woken far too early by Small, who appears to have switched his sleeping pattern. About 8 o’clock last night he was looking shattered and Tim asked him if he wanted to go to bed. He headed for the door and started banging on it, so we took that as a yes. He was asleep by 9 (probably rather earlier, but that’s what time I stirred myself to go and find some food) but then had a very restless night and early morning. I had got the alarm set to go off at 8.30, but that turned out to be extremely wishful thinking.
Anyway, dragged myself up, as we were due to go out for the day, needed a picnic, and had *no* food in the house. Well, no bread anyway, and only enough milk for the children to have breakfast. Big woke up in the stroppy mood she’d gone to bed in, which was nice, so I informed her that I wasn’t taking her to the supermarket. Cue instant meltdown, but I thought it was better to do it that way than to end up with some kind of showdown while out for the day, and sure enough, she was much calmer when I reappeared. Plus it took half the time to shop that it would have done!
Off into Sheffield to find J’s house for a meetup with a lot of friends: Barbara and her three, Kirsty and her two, H with two, A popped in and dropped off a couple more, K came by with one, and of course my two, and J’s younger offspring. I *think* that’s everyone! There was playdough, brio trains, collectable miniature dog things, dressing up, duplo, time outside with the swings, *three* computers – and not one major fallout, which I thought was incredibly impressive with that large group of children, ranging in age from 10 weeks to 11 years, and some of them completely new to the group.
We were there for ages! Then Barbara started making moves, just as the dressing up clothes came out for E and Big. I could see this could cause problems, so I suggested that she leave E with me, and we’d sort out getting her home later. Later has turned into tomorrow, so E and Big are thrilled at their impromptu sleepover. I’ve just read the riot act 😉 as I really do need them to go to sleep or I don’t stand any chance of getting Small to sleep.
And then I paused, and took him up to bed, and fell asleep myself – I *hate* that. Now I feel really wobbly and yeuch, but I’ve got nothing done that I needed to tonight. Anyway, where was I? Yes, we’ve got an extra child. Some of the conversations I’ve heard have been priceless. In the car on the way home, they were getting a bit agitated.
“Mummy, E is being rude”
“How’s that?”
“She says you have to be good for mummy and God, and I say that you only have to be good for mummy. I don’t believe in God”
I didn’t know she’d even thought about it! So a compromise “different families believe different things and that’s ok, so E is right for her family, and you are right for yours.”
Then at bath time, from E
“I can spell your husband’s name.”
“He isn’t my husband.”
“You aren’t married?”
“no”.
“Are you getting married?”
“no.”
“Never ever?”
“no”
so Big joins in “It’s alright getting married and having husbands and things though”.
And from me “and it can be alright not getting married as well.”
Hohum, I appear to be expanding E’s boundaries a little tonight, Barbara – hope that’s OK!
Right, I’m going back to bed.
Comments
10 responses to “Carelessness”
Eek! I expected this would come at some point, but didn’t think I was going to have to deal with it quite so soon. It’s really not something we’ve explicitly talked about at all with her yet. At least not out of the context of our own family (which I guess is very conventional, even with extended family included in that to). Maybe that’s because I’m still struggling to figure out the right words. And I’m sure that whatever I say, she will no doubt embarrisingly mis-quote me at some point. What a delicate subject at any age. Umm. Guess I’d better start preparing my responses for when she starts debating with R and M. Oh boy!
Giggle… that is quite funny!
The god and the marriage questions, you are gonna have them always, but the book question, I will put that to you just once.
200 books – what type, when, how ??? dont taunt us with the figure, tell us the details!
P.S. please can you change the comment settings so it doesnt keep asking for email address – and then lose my whole comment when I back button to put it in,,,, please!!!
Cor, you think you lot have trouble – i was pressed (hard) for a complete explanation of the split from Rome, the reasons for being a monk or a nun and the difference between Catholic and Protestant in the car today. I had to pretend i was lost in the end cos i ran out of knowledge!
I have to say, I’d have been tempted to overlook the misuse of the term ‘husband’ in this case and simply concentrate on the T-i-m that was obviously coming next!!
Hee Hee just wait til we get involved in this discussion!
Lol… i think though, that if you hit them straight between the eyes with in in a frank fashion, they normally don’t blink an eyelid. It always been the stuff i hedge on that i get perpetually questioned on, till i end up explaining myself properly and looknig stupid for glossing in the first place!
Yes, I quite agree. I think what I meant was that I’d probably have avoided the discussion with somebody else’s child, as opposed to my own! Especially if I knew that their belief system was different to mine on that issue … or at least I’d have to preface whatever I said with a ‘family beliefs’ disclaimer of some sort … then again probably the children can work that out for themselves as well …
S’funny though, this post (and Anna having spent a week at the Portico!) has really made me think about how I would communicate my values to other children not in our family, and how I’d feel about my children hearing from other families too, without me/Steve there, iyswim – interesting.
giggling at Merry. I use the ‘I need to concentrate’ excuse so often in the car, that E will even use it (Mummy needs to concentrate) to shut B up sometimes.
Thinking about it now, I think I would have overlooked the misuse of language too – in fact I’m sure I have already in the past without thinking about it. I guess what E means by ‘husband’ is simply ‘adult male component of the family unit’. She has obviously seen (and asked questions about) our wedding photos, and knows that that was when we became husband and wife. I don’t think I’ve gone any further in explaining marriage than explaining that that was when Mummy and Daddy agreed to spend the rest of their lives together because we loved each other, so God made us into a family. So as I’m assuming you and Tim have no plans to split up 😉 and you are clearly a family unit, then E’s understanding of the term ‘husband’ would apply to him to Tim. I’m not surprised that suggesting he wasn’t confused her, as it’s really not something we’ve gone into that much detail about yet. I’m not even sure what she would understand by the concept of a mummy and daddy not being married, as her definition of marriage, I expect, is no deeper than being a partnership which you clearly are. Am waiting eagerly for her to bring up the subject again so I can quiz her…
And Sarah (the other one), yes, I’m amazed E hasn’t picked up on that topic yet. You would have thought it would be slightly more obvious, lol. Yours were the R and M I was refering to in my first comment.
ROFL I thought they might be!