A glimpse of the future.

Jan 11, 2011

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I went swimming with my daughter tonight. She protested and complained, then set her head down and powered off ahead of me. By using every bit if my strength I managed to stay just a body length behind her.

She’s 10. Will be 11 in less than a week mind, but still. I trod water in the pool and for a moment had a glimpse of a future where I’m not always the carer, not always the expert, and sometimes my children will only need me to look on and admire. It was not an uncomfortable moment. I’m almost ready for those changes.

My son went round the indoor river without needing to touch down, just grabbing me at the end to take deep shuddering recharging breaths and I felt myself recharging as he relied on me for a moment. It won’t be so long before he’s outpacing me too. He’s all of 7 years old. On PhotoShop he can do things with images that I can’t begin to imagine where to start with.

I don’t know where in me I’m finding the calm to take these changes on board. Perhaps it’s because after we’d swum I came back to a much smaller person who does still very need me. And I like that too.

It’s where it is

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Comments

16 responses to “A glimpse of the future.”

Ali
11 January 2011
Made me smile a lot, lovely post.
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1. Jax
  11 January 2011
  Thanks Ali.
  Reply
Nic
11 January 2011
🙂 I’m reading a book at the moment which has a large bit on parent (well specifically mother) types. All of the choices I have made in early parenting mean according to the book I will have trouble letting go but actually like you I revel in the standing back and cheering while they fly 🙂
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1. Jax
  11 January 2011
  @Nic given that I can be just a touch overprotective at times (who, me?) I am surprising myself with this readiness to step a little back. Though still having someone to be protective of is helpful 😉
  Reply
Alison
11 January 2011
*cough* badger camp *cough* 😉
I do love having big kids 🙂 Fantastic to see them becoming these competent people 🙂
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Back to life â€¦ =-.
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1. Jax
  11 January 2011
  @Alison rofl! I wasn’t expecting mine to have qualified as big kids quite yet. Guess double figures is pretty big though.
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Dave H
11 January 2011
I can still just about hold my own on the first length but then get left well behind. As for other strokes…
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1. Jax
  11 January 2011
  @Dave I am hoping that if I do a little more swimming that the stamina and strength I’m garnering from running might transfer over and somehow miraculously I’ll get fast than her for a little while…
  Reply
Liz Burton
11 January 2011
Not sure how I’ll feel when my little one gets to this stage – hopefully as calm as you do!
.-= Liz Burton´s last blog ..Silent Sunday – home comforts in the great outdoors =-.
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1. Jax
  11 January 2011
  @Liz if you’d asked me 10 years ago if I’d be this calm I wouldn’t have thought I would be…
  Reply
Alison
11 January 2011
Well, you can’t stop them growing up, so it might as well be enjoyed 🙂
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Back to life â€¦ =-.
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Alison
11 January 2011
I’m not entirely sure what the alternative is tbh. Somehow try and make them stay like 5 year olds? Forbid them from becoming at all independent? Or is it to just worry?
.-= Alison´s last blog ..Back to life â€¦ =-.
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Nic
11 January 2011
Yeah okay 😳 But that was 18 months ago and tho’ I hated it, I did get through it and reckon if he’d done it last year it would have been easier. But erm, busted 😉
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Elizabeth
11 January 2011
I’m loving the kids getting older, and all the new things we can do together, and I’m looking forward to the next set of ‘new’ things we can all do as they get even older. Of course I’d love for time to slow down a bit–but just because I really am cherishing this time with them, and will miss them when they are 40 and leave home! 😉
And Nic-we wouldn’t let Hazel do Brownie Camp for the same reason–they wouldn’t just let her decide to call us if she didn’t want to stay. We feel she is smart enough to know what she is or isn’t comfortable doing, and I wasn’t letting anyone take that right away from her.
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Michelle
12 January 2011
i always want to be happy so tend to celebrate the now rather than try and hold on to the past, mourning what has to be left behind as a cherished memory. With one child every stage has an extra intensity as not only is it a first, but a last all at the same time. i also think kids always need their parents. i havent stopped needing mine (evidenced by dad driving out of london to take me to hospital appts) and they still need to be needed too. in fact, i think the teens are the age when they need parents the most, the first decade in comparison is a doddle as they really only need feeding, loving and caring. no hormones and reassurance about growing up issues.
the whole point imho is to raise them such that they leave happily but are still happy to visit and still see you. unless you want them still living at home aged 40!
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Helen
12 January 2011
I love the fact that my “baby” can now make me a cup of tea. When he can do the ironing I’ll be over the moon!
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