Author: Tim

Jax: I don’t remember this bit……. I remember the bit with Anadin Skywalker though…

His and Hers Houses. “….former public toilets at Station Road, Luddendenfoot. Offered for sale with planning permission for a pair of semi detached dwellings with balconies and patio areas with pleasant aspect.” My imagination runs riot….

Joanna Lumley (yes, now Purdey is an expert on global warming, too). OK, I’m sold, let’s exterminate all the cattle on the planet. And we need to get rid of all the antelope, wildebeest, buffalo and the animals that feed off them at the same time. I think Joanna is going to need a bigger…

Those among you who have visited our stately pile may recall a mound in the middle of our back garden. More tumour than tumulus, it has been, along with 4 sacks of cobbles which never got emptied out, a monument to the moment when a disc in my back gave up the unequal struggle with…

Ooo, ooo, ooo!

Just had to.

The smalls would just love one of these, just think of all the games you could play. I wonder how fast it turns? Anyway, Jax says I can’t have one. 🙁 And it was cheap too. Special introductory offer £399.99 off usual price of £8999.99. I wonder if I could get a bigger one for…

Yorkshire boy talks posh after op. “William McCartney-Moore of York was struck down with viral meningitis last March and needed brain surgery after doctors found he had a rare strain called empyaema. “He lost everything,” said his mother, Ruth. “He couldn’t read or write, he couldn’t recognise things, he had no recollection of places he’d…

When I read last week that the Press Complaints Commission had censured FHM magazine for printing a photograph of a topless 14-year-old girl, I looked to the press for coverage and comment. Surely, I thought, newspapers that are so determined to root out “evil” paedophiles and to denounce “pervs” who view child pornography would have…

I so want one of these.