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Signs of spring?

1st March 2016 by Jax Blunt 6 Comments

  

I thought I’d got away with it this winter. I thought I’d managed to balance creativity and activity, outdoors and hibernating, my ups and downs and that I was going to make it through this winter without my annual crash.

I was wrong.

Yesterday was a day too far. Despite sunshine and pretty pictures (because of sunshine and pretty pictures?) I found myself paging through instagram wondering why other people have more followers, more likes, more comments.

Why do other bloggers win awards, get contracts, earn a living, get featured in magazines?

(Ignore with me, for a moment, that other bloggers are focused, determined, professional. That they work hard, network, *and* don’t actually all get there either. This isn’t a post about reality. )

I wallowed. I wailed. I ignored that being in pain for ten days with hip and back issues means I can’t sleep, can’t exercise, can’t focus. I ignored the fact that not running always leaves me lower. I tried to clean my way out of the slump (ah, because that *always* works) and ended up with a cleaner but messier kitchen. Because.

And today I have wept. But I’ve also cleaned, picked up, and tried to paint/letter myself an affirmation. Because I am enough, this moment, this day.

Because I will be better again.

Because I need to be.

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Filed Under: It's where it is Tagged With: autism, depression, SAD, spring

About Jax Blunt

I'm the original user, Jax Blunt I've been blogging for 16 years, give or take, and if you want to know me, read me :)

Oh, and if you'd like to support my artistic endeavours, shop my photographs and art at redbubble

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Midlife Singlemum says

    1st March 2016 at 4:46 pm

    Feek better soon Jax. xxx

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      3rd March 2016 at 1:20 am

      Thank you.

      Reply
  2. Tina says

    1st March 2016 at 5:30 pm

    I had noticed you hadn’t blogged for a while and hoped all was ok… I blame my age for my mood swings ?
    Hope you start to feel better soon x

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      2nd March 2016 at 4:27 pm

      Ah thanks. I think age may have something to do with it. We just keep on keeping on, yes?

      Reply
  3. Susan Mann says

    4th March 2016 at 11:42 pm

    I’ve missed your posts hon. I’m always here for you & I love your photos & drawings. The warmer weather & sunshine will be here soon. Lots of love honey xx

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      5th March 2016 at 10:32 am

      thank you.

      Reply

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