Recently I went to a parents’ briefing meeting for a camp trip that Big is going on this summer. One of the points the instructor chose to stress was that girls need to bring enough ‘personal hygiene essentials’ because they don’t want the male instructors to have to go to a supermarket and try to work out what to buy. It’s not pretty he said, or words to that effect.
And now we’ve got the packing list. In the admin section it says wash kit – tooth paste, brush, soap, flannel, shaving kit (if required), shampoo, shower gel. A few lines later: females, don’t forget your own personal hygiene essentials.
Now, I get that men don’t menstruate. But many (the vast majority I’d have thought) will at some point in their lives live with women who do. And it’s about time, I feel, that we stopped whispering about it like it’s this horrific mystery.
There are a varieity of reasons, dear instructor, why you might get girls on camp without the right ‘personal hygiene essentials’.
Some might forget. I’ll bet you get boys who forget all sorts of stuff. And you probably mutter about it, but go to the supermarket and buy toothbrushes, deodorant (which isn’t on your packing list, incidentally. Do you really want to spend 10 days with teenage boys without deodorant?) and so on without too much of a fuss. Why are you carrying on about sanitary equipment? It’s not actually all that complicated. There are basically towels (various thicknesses and lengths, with and without wings to attach to underwear) and tampons (similarly varied. No wings though). The girls will know what they usually use, if they aren’t too embarrassed by your attitude to discuss it with you.
(It’s not catching, you know. You won’t suddenly start menstruating if you talk about it, or buy things for it, amusing and fitting as the idea would be.)
Some girls might not have started their periods yet. And 10 days away from home might just be when they start. Personally if I was sending a teenage girl away from home who hadn’t started, I’d send her equipped, but not every parent plans ahead that way.
Teenage girls who have started can come on unexpectedly out of rhythm – change of routine, extra exercise, stress, all sorts of things can trigger it. Teenage girls aren’t that regular anyway, and to be honest, even grown women with years of experience with this get caught out. I’m currently wearing a pair of brown jeans that I had to buy in a hurry some years ago when I came on unexpectedly during the day in cream jeans. (I might add a Vanish stick to your packing list too. Although salt and cold water is good for blood stains as well.)
The bottom line (ho ho) here is that periods are not gross, disgusting, dirty or shameful. Messy, perhaps, but dirty, no. And if the grown men who are in charge of taking my daughter and her friends (male and female) away for 10 days could get over themselves and just grow up and deal with this perfectly normal thing that women cope with regularly, I’d really appreciate it.
Is that really so much to ask?
Well said, it is about time periods were not a taboo subject we are now in the 21st century.
Thanks. Completely agree.
A very good post,
how can we teach our children that periods aren’t anything to be embarrassed about when those they are supposed to look up to treat them as a taboo subject
Yes, well said! It’s amazing that periods are still so taboo, considering women have always had them and women are half the population! I even have friends now, mid-30s, who get embarrassed buying tampons and sanitary towels in the shop. It’s a fact of life! We shouldn’t be made to feel dirty or shameful for having them. x
Bizarre isn’t it? It’s as if we’re invisible at that time of the month.
Well said indeed. I can see they don’t want to be making many trips to the supermarket to buy forgotten stuff for anyone going but really they need to be able to say the dreaded period word without coming over all faint.
Agreed. It is exactly like they think it’s catching!
I hear you, I’ve got a post in draft about periods and talking about them but from a dfferent angle. Thanks for sharing. Mich x
Don’t think there can be too much talking about this to be honest, I’ll keep an eye out for your post.
Totally with you on this (and in particular, ‘females’??? But of course, we are an alien species!) However, as I discovered to my embarrassment last year, the disposable sanitary equipment market is now bewilderingly complicated to the uninitiated – which includes poor clueless mothers who’ve spent the last however many years pootling along quite happily with a mooncup and some washable panty liners. So, dd1 starts her periods and of course wants nothing to do with reusable stuff – hence the shopping trip, during which I got so confused with the multitude of options available that essentially I bought her something not much better than pantyliners, totally inadequate for the task in hand. On the return trip I bought one pack of every size in the shop, much to her bemusement. It’s taken her six months to use that stash up and now I’ve got to go again and stare in a dazed and confused fashion at five shelves groaning with every variation on the theme… Not that any of that really excuses the attitude – it wouldn’t be hard to escort the girl herself to a shop, or provide a goody bag of assorted products to for a girl caught short to choose from.
Ha! That was me last week. 13yo non starter about to go off for 8 days abroad and I wanted to send her with supplies for just in case and stood in the supermarket going eh? For ages! I haven’t bought disposable anything for 13 years!
You should have yelled, happy to assist 😉
I was contemplating providing just such a goody bag actually.
Shop somewhere straightforward like Lidl, much lighter on choice, makes decisions easier.
Diary Doll pants are brilliant and means no worrying about leakage at night or when you think you are possibly due. Expensive but we found worth for peace of mind, especially when camping or away from home. Would also be good for at school when it is not necessarily so easy to get to a toilet when you need to (toilet pass required to leave lessons I have heard), or fretting about leakage.
I also bought daughter the wrong things initially and she told me there is a teen range – more size suitable and so more comfortable. She won’t yet use the mooncup (bought sized for teen though understandably looks ginormous to her), though it is a better design than mine and contents don’t tip out due to the rim design.
Thanks, I’ll look into those, sound like an excellent idea particularly for overnight on trips.
so very well said
Thank you.
Goodness, what an awkward bunch they sound! A goodie bag sounds like a plan and maybe suggest they reword their list (and verbal briefing) to urge everyone (male AND female) to make sure they have packed everything they need as a trip to the supermarket for any forgotten supplies is a pain. I’ve never come across this in all my years sending kids off on trips, it sounds to me that if they are so scared of ‘females’ they should take someone with them who isn’t!
Oh they did urge everyone to remember, but there was no fuss made about anything else. The not pretty comment was the crowning glory.
Totally agree!
Please say you sent something of the same vein to tge school?
Not a school, voluntary organisation. And I’m planning on delivery a goody bag of the stuff they might need, with some suggestions on how to adjust their list/ briefing.
You are bang on the money. It makes me so mad that it seems to be acceptable for men, grown men, to go “ewww periods.” It’s a natural part of life, I’m not the biggest fan of them, but I get on with it and deal!
Why are men so terrified and/or ashamed to go and buy something that their partner/daughter/girl in their care needs?
I honestly don’t know. It’s part of life. Let’s just get on with it.
Great post, point very well made. My non-starter tween is about to embark on a 3 day camping trip at the end of August and we need to have this discussion and take the goodie bag just in case. Honestly, why do people have to be so coy about this stuff! x
I’m going to look into the Diary doll pants Mich has mentioned above, the potential for blood on bedding during camp is not a good one.
Fab post. Feel sorry for the women in these men’s lives. Oliver is only 2.5 but I plan to be pretty open with him in the hope he doesn’t turn in to a man fearful of the mensies! And hopefully an understanding teenager too.
Yes, I think that’s incredibly important. We are very open with Small, currently 12, in the hope that he will be as supportive as his father is.
I. Love. This. Post.
<3 <3 <3
thanks Tamsin 🙂
My chap is very understanding and I always give him warning because my PMT is a killer and has ended relationships in the past! Men/boys need to understand how we girls work. My dad bought my first pack of towels and these days, my other half is used to seeing my reusables soaking and knows to Leave The Bucket Alone. I’m lucky to have such an enlightened partner.
We get enlightened partners by talking to our sons I think, something I’m going to make sure I focus on 🙂 Glad your partner is good with it.
We actually always kept sanitary pads in our first aid kit because they are amazing when you get a cut or deep wound when out camping. We used to use them at the barn for when the horses would get a cut as well.
Hadn’t thought of that, good tip!
I have a different viewpoint. Why is an instructor expected to purchase anything for a camper, whether it’s tampons or a toothbrush? Isn’t that the parents responsibility to provide any needed hygiene items? I don’t think it’s fair to criticize instructors for not wanting to figure out what to buy at the drugstore. However, I would expect most camps to keep a box of pads just in case.
Hello, oh anonymous teacher. (Why so shy?)
In an ideal world, every child would take everything they need with them, and no one would ever forget anything. However, this isn’t an ideal world, and none of us are perfect. As I mentioned in the post, there are all sorts of reasons why girls might not be prepared for their period, and just like the other forgotten items, an adult will be tasked with buying them.
Once we recognise that things get forgotten, we can then move on to why in the briefing a fuss was made about sanitary items, and not other things, which was the point of my post.
Like most things kids needs to bring it is the parents responsibility but like you say, things get forgotten. At any camp at that age they know there will be girls who might have periods so it should be a standard thing in their ‘camp kit’. Just like bug spray, medicine, emergency stuff, special foods etc etc what could or should be in a kit. There should be no fuss over something so natural.
Exactly!
Yes, yes, this this. It infuriates me that even now I know men that won’t pick up a pack of sanitary towels or tampons for their wives. My partner now would happily pick up anything needed for me and the girls and has even done so for his sisters and mum! He knows he is unlikely to catch period. I hope that should the parent have forgotten OR that the girl started her period there that she should feel comfortable enough to ask for help, if not then they are sending the wrong message out about period AND are likely to have a host of other things to deal with, like leaking, bloody sheets and a lot of emotions. You are spot on, let’s drop the coyness and grow up about periods!
Well said Jax, Have you had an response from the Scout leader?
Not Scouts. And I’m seeing them on Monday
Strikes me that if the male instructors are THAT terrified of having to buy sanitary towels, they could take an emergency supply with them anyway. Or just grow up a bit.