This may be an unexpected post to see on this blog – I’m not sure that I’ve ever reviewed or even mentioned a parenting advice book or manual previously. That isn’t because I don’t read them though it’s irregular, it’s more because I don’t believe any one system has all the answers. And that’s because I strongly believe that all children, and all parents are individuals. Which makes for a whole host of interesting dynamics 😉
Having said that, anything that boosts happiness for parents (as long as it doesn’t reduce happiness for children) has got to be a good thing. NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) is a type of coaching regularly applied in business, and in this workbook, it’s applied to parenting in much the same way.
The book starts with an introduction to NLP and where it sits in relation to things like TA (transaction analysis) and CBT (Cognitive behaviour therapy). It goes on to lay down some ground rules, like
There is no failure, only feedback.
Don’t know about you, but where parenting is concerned, I find that a hard one to take on board. I’m not sure whether the teenager would go for it either. But if it makes either of us more resilient, it would have to be thought of as a good thing. Anyone out there with any experience of this?
One that I’m really going to struggle to take on board though is
One word works wonders
My children do this. They walk into the room and bark “drink!” or “hungry!” or “biscuit”. The wonders that this works on me starts primarily with my blood pressure, which rises instantly. I say, that’s interesting, and maybe if you actually form a sentence, we’ll be able to do something about it. So I’d be rather hypocritical to start saying “teeth” or “homework” or “door” (to take the examples from the book). Is there a difference in my children communicating in single words to me doing it? I take on board the short and sweet command – I do have a tendency to the verbose (quiet at the back there!) but I think I’m going to stick with short direct sentences, rather than single words.
As you can see, I’ve already found food for thought in this book, and I hope you will do the same. If you’ve prior experience of NLP and parenting, I’d love to hear from you, and likewise if you think it’s all just twaddle 😉 Stick me a message in the comment box, or pop by on social media (icons in the sidebar).
Don’t forget to check out the rest of the blogs in the tour!
Judy Bartkowiak (twitter) is the author of ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ a guide to using life coaching skills to enhance your parenting. Judy and her husband Edward have four children and live in rural Berkshire with their dogs Roxy and Holly and nine hens.
She has an NLP training and coaching practice NLP Kids, specialising in child and parenting issues and runs Kids Brands Europe Email Judy for your FREE mini book ‘Be a happier parent with NLP’ and apply code ‘Blog’ to get 10% discount off Judy’s books at NLP and kids books.