• Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Making It Up

as we go along

  • Home education: facts and contacts.
  • About me/contact.
    • Privacy Policy
    • Affiliate links and disclosure policy.
    • Read52 โ€“ the challenge and the books.

Dear 15 year old me

28th February 2015 by Jax Blunt 12 Comments

I’ve seen a whole bunch of these letters around, and never felt like trying one. But then I read this rather marvellous take on the idea by Non Pratt, and I’ve got all inspired. Plus, picking up a pencil/crayon has reminded me, very clearly of a particular incident in my teen years that turned out to be much more formative than it should have been.

So here goes.

Dear me

There’s a teacher you’ve got at the moment who doesn’t seem to like you. I don’t think it’s personal, actually, although it’s difficult to tell, both for you there, and me now. I’ve never been all that good at reading people, can’t think why ๐Ÿ˜‰ It’s the art teacher – you know I can’t even remember her name? And I bet she forgot us the moment we walked out of her room.

Fab room, the art room. Big old attic like space, with sprawling tables, and heaps of stuff all over the chests of drawers and bookcases all around the edges. Not a clean, open, inspirational space, far too much clutter for that. But light, and chatter, and what should have been so much fun. Because art is supposed to be fun, isn’t it?

School didn’t take it seriously. Although everyone had a double period timetabled in, right up until when – 3rd year? But it was one of the lessons you were allowed to miss for things like music lessons. And I missed the second half of art for a whole year to do violin. I don’t think the art teacher liked that. And I think that’s got a lot to do with why she told you that you can’t draw, and gave you a failing grade in the internal art exam.

Even though you only had 40 minutes to do it in, not 80 like everyone else, because violin.

Yes, it’s the only failing grade you got in an exam at senior school. Came close with Basic World Geography (so it must have been fourth year) but scraped a pass despite doing stuff all work. We weren’t supposed to revise for art though, and I couldn’t, you couldn’t, if we’d wanted to, because let’s face it, we don’t have a clue.

Except actually, the reason you started to think that, the reason I’ve thought that for all these years, is because of that bitter, twisted art teacher, carrying out her vendetta with the music department by trashing your self belief. And you will, I have, spent all those intervening years laughing it off, to hide the pain. Not trying. Not drawing. Putting myself down.

I don’t like failing. I’m not good at it. I haven’t had a lot of practise – the flip side of being really quite bright is that it’s quite easy to scrape through most things even without really trying, and when I do focus, when I care enough to focus, there’s little I can’t get my head around.

Except drawing. Until now.

When I discovered, over the last few months, that I can. I can do this. I can learn to draw. And with the right set of instructions, I can produce something really rather good in minutes. (Well within that 40 minute window, when I was supposed to be drawing a twig. I can still see the twig actually, it wasn’t very impressive, and granted my picture wasn’t desperately good, but I don’t think it was worth failing.)

There are two lessons to be learnt from this experience, teen me. One is that not all teachers have your best interests at heart. They may not even be teaching you at all. And the second is that if you want to learn something, believe in yourself and go out and do it.

Now I’d quite like 97 year old me to drop a letter back to 44 year old me, to let me know whether working all of this out made a difference or not.

Go get ’em.

the eyes have it

Tweet

Filed Under: It's where it is Tagged With: drawing, failure, self belief, self esteem

About Jax Blunt

I'm the original user, Jax Blunt I've been blogging for 16 years, give or take, and if you want to know me, read me :)

Oh, and if you'd like to support my artistic endeavours, shop my photographs and art at redbubble

Reader Interactions

Comments

  1. Midlife Singlemum says

    28th February 2015 at 9:07 pm

    We didn’t have art exams until you chose to do it for O level or A level. It was obvious – you couldn’t revise for it and some people just didn’t have a talent for it (me included). How can you fail someone for drawing? It’s nuts. We also didn’t have grades for sport for the same reason – how could you grade a 6ft stick person and a dumpy 5fter in the same class and claim it to be fair.

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      28th February 2015 at 10:23 pm

      I don’t know why we had art tbh, we didn’t get grades for sport. And it was only that one year as far as I remember.

      Reply
  2. mamacrow says

    28th February 2015 at 9:10 pm

    ‘There are two lessons to be learnt from this experience, teen me. One is that not all teachers have your best interests at heart. They may not even be teaching you at all. And the second is that if you want to learn something, believe in yourself and go out and do it.’
    SO MUCH THIS!
    I had a similar experience with a very volatile art teacher. thankfully I changed schools and teachers and ended up with a far better match teacher wise!
    this is a great letter and you’re doing so well with your sketching and drawing at the mo – it’s awesome to watch your progress!

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      28th February 2015 at 10:22 pm

      Thank you – I’m really enjoying it ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  3. Susan Mann says

    1st March 2015 at 9:55 am

    I’m so pleased to hear you’re enjoying drawing. I was lucky to have great art teachers & even got accepted to art school. However, I didn’t have the same in other subjects x

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      2nd March 2015 at 12:31 am

      It’s never even across the board is it? Got any tips for me then on drawing? And also, how did you get from art school to computers??

      Reply
  4. Lulastic says

    8th March 2015 at 11:57 pm

    Ah, this is great – you reclaim and restore those moments ๐Ÿ˜€
    TEachers can have such an impact- my whole school life is divided into classes with nice/ respectful teachers, and (the majority) those who weren’t.

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      9th March 2015 at 1:04 am

      Thanks. I think too often teachers don’t realise that it’s rarely the academics they are teaching that have the lasting effect.

      Reply
  5. Lady Liberty Hen says

    16th March 2015 at 8:58 am

    Hi Jax,
    This is a wonderful post! It really made me think about how important it is to keep an open mind about one’s own capabilities.
    If you have any wish to take your drawings further, please do contact me at Post40Bloggers – I have a new column which will be all about illustrating/cartoons/drawing/doodling….

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      16th March 2015 at 9:50 am

      Oh wow, thank you. I’d absolutely like to take it further, I’m drawing all the time at the moment. Will ping you ๐Ÿ™‚

      Reply
  6. Jaime says

    2nd June 2015 at 12:53 am

    I love this letter to your younger self. I really do need to do one this summer. I had a lot of doubts about myself 15 years ago. (Thanks for sharing this link on the #SITSBlogging Twitter chat!)

    Reply
    • Jax Blunt says

      2nd June 2015 at 10:31 am

      It was a surprisingly powerful thing to do – I’m glad you enjoyed it. Thanks for visiting, good to chat!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Primary Sidebar

Archives

Categories

Affiliate search on bookshop

Footer

TOTS100 - UK Parent Blogs
TOTS100

Copyright © 2021 ยท Lifestyle Pro on Genesis Framework ยท WordPress ยท Log in