Just like children aren’t like little people.
Children are just ppl, and childhood is a part of life. Not a practice run, you don’t get any do-overs, it is what it is.
I’ve been pondering these thoughts since the twitter party the other day which was mainly about sneaking nutrients in to food. I’ve been thinking if the only good bits that most children get to eat are the bits that they don’t know about, then they are going to have pretty horrendous diets as adults, when they presumably won’t know to sneak things in to their own meals.
#secretgoodness isn’t a good long term strategy. Being upfront, being honest, being open – these are the things that matter. Where possible letting children make their own decisions – provide them the information to let them make them good ones. Oh, I know that there are lots of things I don’t let my children decide for themselves. But increasingly, as they get older and I wise up, there are lots of things that I do.
I wish that I’d known so much more about children before I had Big. But that’s how it works – as a parent you learn on the job. So there’s no point in being too hard on yourself about mistakes you make when you’re a novice – but you do need to learn rapidly and do your utmost to undo them. And try to vary your mistakes – there are so many out there to make there’s no point in repeating any.
You don’t need to prepare your children for school or learning either. Just give them room to grow, and learn, develop and explore at their own pace. Some children will be ready to read early, some will leave it til later. Most of them will crack it without extraordinary measures, though they won’t all use the same technique. I worry when I see articles talking about preparing children for learning – all too often what that actually means is preparing them to do as they are told, and that isn’t the best way to learn. We don’t need to start them on education earlier and earlier – we need to step back a little and remember what the priorities are. School is a tool, not an end in itself, and if we could just remember that, it would work much better.
So, my thought for the weekend – take the time to enjoy your today with your children. Don’t worry so much about what is coming next. Count the birds, count the stars, share a book, draw a picture. Just have some fun 🙂
In an ideal world that would work! I’ve always given my children the space to choose, but my younger 2 are very different to the older ones and often I have to make choices and stick to them. I would love the luxury of not worrying about tomorrow, but that is’nt how it is.
It’s a long standing joke in our family that we hide veggies from Duke (age very nearly 50). I think there is a place for covert health foods but also a more important place for educating children into eating properly and also finding out what veg etc they like rather than plugging away with peas and carrots all the time!
Great post Jax! I saw a bit of the twitter party going on the other day but didn’t realise that was what #secretgoodness meant. Would be rather cross and suspicious if someone was sneaking stuff into my food.
Off to count birds. 🙂
What a great post. I think we need to help kids make the right choices but sometimes we don’t make them ouselves which doesn’t help. x