And it wasn’t.
A relative I haven’t seen for a very long time has died. She wasn’t young. She was ill. She died peacefully, with her family with her.
All things that mean the loss should be a little easier to bear. All things that make absolutely no difference to how many tears I’m crying tonight.
And yet, I know that any vows that I make to myself right now will slide away. That no matter how hard I resolve to be a better sister, daughter, niece, friend, the days will get full, and they’ll race by and it will be weeks since I’ve been in touch with whoever it is.
It doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of you. I am thinking of so many people all the time. I think of people I’ve never met, people I can never meet. I pop on and off social media, send love and hugs and strength to people in pain. Tonight I received some of those tweets, and it does make a difference.
Being heard makes a difference. Being not alone, even through a keyboard, even through a screen, it makes a little difference. So thank you for that.
Tonight, I’m sending love and thoughts and best wishes to anyone in pain. And to those fortunate enough to be in reach, a small piece of advice. Hold them near.
Now, off to cuddle a child or two, if I can get them to hold still long enough.