It’s awards season, but I’m not gonna beg…

Nominations are open for The MAD Blog awards 2011. All around the mummy and daddy blogosphere, hopeful posts are springing up, requesting nominations for particular categories, or just generic involvement. Tweets are littering the timeline with reference to those blogposts or direct requests for votes.

And there’s another kind of conversation going on. There’s a “what is the point, as I won’t win” type of thread. Or the “give it a rest already”, comment. Or the “can’t be fair”, questions, or “how can it work”, or “what are the rules” and so on.

When it comes down to it, of course it’s a thrill to be nominated, and yes, I was happy to see my name in the list that went up this morning. (Best family life apparently. There you go then.) But at the same time, I know that this is a niche blog in that it doesn’t really fit in to any category. If there was a “Best utterly eclectic and disorganised blog written by blogger with great intentions who usually fails to follow through” I’d be a frontrunner. (Pausing for a moment to wonder who would sponsor that. Probably a life coach company who would want to sweep in and fix everything ;) ) But there isn’t, and I’m not, so once again I’m left sitting here trying to work my way through my emotions. (Oh come on, anything is better than hanging the washing out!)

It *is* hard, to ignore the feeling of being left out, of not being part of the in crowd, no matter how many times I try to tell myself, and you, faithful readers, that I don’t blog for the stats. I really *don’t* blog for the stats, I haven’t checked the underlying since I blogged that I wouldn’t (impressed with my willpower? Not nearly as much as I am!) although I’m going to allow myself a day this week of looking into it, writing up a PR friendly report on it all, then I’m going to step away again. But I’m beginning to understand what all this is about in my mind, so I thought I’d take a minute or two to share.

It’s intellect v appetite, and it goes on in every area of my life. The unnamed desire for something or anything – the grass at the other side of the fence, the book I haven’t read, the chocolate biscuit I don’t really need. And at the same time, I know I have plenty, so I feel guilty for wanting. But it’s the guilt I need to deal with.

Wanting is perfectly natural. If the first ape in the tree hadn’t wanted whatever was down there on the ground, we wouldn’t have started to become how we are. If we weren’t driven by curiosity and desire, inventions wouldn’t happen, changes wouldn’t occur and there’d be no humans. (I’m not a creationist. Sorry.) But at the same time, if we don’t listen to our heads, the wanting just drives battles and chaos. So there’s a balance to be struck in every area of our life – using the base energy that drives us, and governing it with a balance that knows when to walk away.

It’s tough. I’m only 40, I haven’t got it completely sussed yet. I’m expecting one day I might, but I’m not thinking that day will be tomorrow. It’s something to work towards in my own goal for self improvement.

So where does that leave us on the blog awards? It just means that if I’m nominated, great, I’m grateful. But I’m not asking you to do it, I’m not going to tweet about it happening, and I’m going to paste on a smile to congratulate the winners who aren’t me when we get to that point. And if I can’t manage that, I’ll just quietly unfollow the lot of you. So there.

About Jax Blunt

I'm the original user, Jax Blunt I've been blogging for ten years, give or take, and if you want to know me, read me :)

Comments

  1. I seem to find myself saying this a lot lately, but blogging is about what works for you, and makes you happy.

    If anything gets in the way of that, then don’t sign up, don’t get involved, whether it’s awards, communities, comment circles, indexes or whatever!

    Awards are, by their very nature, competitive. And anything that involves any kind of vote, or judging, or competing, is going to be open to debate as to what’s the best way to judge/rate/vote/whatever.

    We work hard to make the awards as fair and equitable as we can, and we put a lot of thought into making the award categories as inclusive as we can. We think the awards are a celebration of blogs, and the brilliant bloggers who make them – we’re working hard to celebrate excellence AND diversity. But of course, it’s never going to be everyone’s cup of tea, and I don’t think there’s any problem with that.

    • Hi Sally, not disagreeing with any of that, just exploring my own emotions around it all. Again. Found it quite enlightening actually.

  2. I admire your restraint but am about to nominate you! Filling out the form right now and just came over to make sure I’d got your address right! I appreciate that you’re not actively going looking for it but your blog deserves an award or at least for you to know that it’s appreciated by readers.
    Circus Queen recently posted…Five things to do before the baby comesMy Profile

  3. Jax, love. Lighten up :) It’s only a game show ;)
    Merry recently posted…On this dayMy Profile

    • @Merry Um, eh? Am not down about it, am just exploring equivocal reaction to it all, quite usefully from my point of view. Followed couple of interesting discussions on twitter of it all.

  4. Its hard not to want. I love to do well. Like to think I don’t care would LOVE to hit the tots…adore I do wellon wikiobut try and be nonchalant wish I din’t cra ebut love a bit of competition (mostly unless I lose very badly)Oh its all intersting head stuff !

  5. sorry posted before I proof read – hope I made sense I’m only 39 have nothing figured yet x

    • lol, let you off this once, but don’t let it happen again ;)

      I do find it interesting trying to figure out why I feel the way I do, particularly when I seem to feel two opposing things. Think it was quite an interesting one today!

  6. :D I heart you, you have expressed exactly the sentiment i feel :D (except the non-creationist part, i bet we could have some proper grown-up conversations on that topic!)

    I could have written half of your post (though not quite as well) but i couldn’t even finish my sun cream review write up yesterday, blimmin kids ;)
    I think it goes something like this – Person needs to vent/purge/keep a diary and cant be bummed with holding a pen, person starts a blog, people catch on, person is still mainly writing for themselves but is now aware s/he has readers, awards nominations roll up, readers kindly nominate/no-one nominates, person is left with pink ‘n’ mix of emotions ranging from ‘am i not good enough?’ to ‘i’m only doing this for a release anyway’ to ‘does no-one love me nor appreciate my genius?’ to ‘im not going to win anyway, so what was the point?’. :D xxx

    • Hi Becki

      Yup, it is complicated when blogging evolves. (see what I did there? lol.)

      And yes, I can have proper grown up conversations on all sorts of topics, including religions/beliefs/faiths. When it comes right down to it I’m a live and let live kind of person.

  7. Good on you! I actually quite like the awards, (though certainly don’t expect to get anywhere!) and enjoy taking part in the rankings indexes.
    I don’t mind people judging my blog, but that might be because I’ve been a journo for 20 years, and I’m used to critical editors, and because I set this up as a professional blog, rather than a deeply personal one, so I’m not as emotionally wrapped up in it. Regardless of your conflicting feelings, I have a sneaking suspicion you’ll get a pile of noms anyway!!
    PS: I love the fact your blog doesn’t fit into a neat little box – it’s one of the great things about it!! xx
    Mummys Little Monkey recently posted…MEGA BLOKS MADNESS! Time to BuildMy Profile

    • Hi Mummy of Monkey ;)

      Thank you. I keep pondering setting up a more publicly oriented blog for reviews, contentious topics and so on – but I like having everything in one place. It’s kind of a singleheap blog :)

  8. it’s hard wanting to be included and hating yourself a little for wanting to be included, isn’t it?

    I’m thrilled to see that i’ve been nominated for something – just saw it now whilst looking at who i was going to nominate myself – but I’m not after any more than that. It’s just nice to know that one person out there (thanks mum) thinks I’m not bad. I think you can take these things far too seriously if you spend too much time thinking about it. p.s I nominated you xx

    • @Heather I see you get where I’m coming from :)

      Yes, it’s lovely to be nominated. And I assume it would be even lovelier to go on to the next stage, but realistically, I know that isn’t going to happen. But thanks for the nomination anyway. Must get around to doing some too!

  9. I’m nominating you so there :p << Blows big loud raspberry! ;o) x
    Emma recently posted…Fully fledged toddler motherMy Profile

  10. I love your blog, it’s heartfelt and i can totally relate to the sentiments you’ve voiced here. I’m not involving myself in the MAD’s, but if I was, I’d nominate you :O) x

    • Thanks. I can understand your position over the MADs, though I think possibly you are over estimating the influence of the awards tbh.

  11. I completely understand this, but I’m torn between my desire to do my best at something and my desire to express myself as well as I possibly can. The former emotion drives my need to be nominated for The Mads, but the latter ensures that what I write may mean that I do not qualify as my posts are not commercial or even popular. I sometimes wonder whether being involved is setting myself up because I know instinctively that the measure of success as represented by The Mads (ie public vote) may not measure my objectives well. I want to write for my readers, but I also want to feel the recognition that a nomination (or god forbid) a win would bring me. I’m thrilled to have been nominated in a couple of categories, but keep reminding myself that this is only one measure of success, and my other measures (building a loyal readership etc) are just as valid.

  12. lol, i am surprised to have been nominated, as a v quiet sort of blog [thanks merry x] but actually having a quiet insular blog it has led me to do lots of thinking as to whether i even would want to be visible outside my own little cosy niche [i decided i didn't mind] tho i can be quite comfortable with my total lack of winning status, as i blog for me, close friends, and maybe to demist a window into the way one home educating family does it. i don’t do competitions, twitter, facebook links etc. I admit to sadness when multiple posts have no comments tho. dunno jax, i wish you well in the mads awards. but it is just fun, an external filip.
    HelenHaricot recently posted…Gotta Get GoingMy Profile

  13. A great post Jax, you pretty much sum up how I feel about it all. I love the concept of appetite versus Intellect. I have far too much appetite but thankfully these days my intellect tends to kick in and I say no!

    Mich x
    Michelle Twin Mum recently posted…Blogging Awards – What’s Your Opinion?My Profile

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