Finally, Good News

If you had purchased £1,000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95,

With HBOS, earlier this week your £1,000 of shares would have been worth £16.50,

£1,000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5,

If you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214.

So based on the above, the best current investment advice is to ignore your portfolio, drink heavily and recycle.

This man is a genius.

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5 Responses to Finally, Good News

  1. Michelle says:

    We invested £5k in Psion just at its peak and then shares came tumbling. We get a dividend cheque for about 39p every year and don’t think they’re worth more than £100 now.

    The “we” btw did not include me in the decision making process.

  2. Michelle says:

    £5k = a lot of beer :-(

  3. HelenHaricot says:

    ahh. i have a with profits endowment mortgage for the first house, and have more or less written it off, except that i will get some something with NU redistribution thingy. ah well

  4. Tim says:

    You should have gone for a with beer endowment.

  5. Michelle says:

    I am advised it was £500 not £5k.

    One of those bone of contention topics.

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