Comments on: Sadness

By: Kris

Kris — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 20:39:51 +0000

Been out of touch lately, but that doesn’t mean you’ve been out of my thoughts. Life’s full of these little signposts or stopping points, where you’re supposed to look around and think things along the line of where am I? and where am I going? I guess this is just one of those times.

You aren’t inadequate, you were always the standard that I aimed for when HEing.

Kris xxx

By: Clare

Clare — Sun, 29 Jul 2007 08:27:14 +0000

Sorry to hear how awful you’re feeling, Jax. My thoughts are with you. Good mothers are the ones who question themselves, not the ones who read to their children day in day out! Hope you start feeling happier (and also better physically) soon.

Love

Clare
x

By: Ron

Ron — Fri, 27 Jul 2007 01:45:48 +0000

Not alot new to say here. Wish we could invite you over for tea, though.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 11:11:47 +0000

((hugs))

FWIW I had 2 miscarriges close together and went onto have other babies. I was very tired after the miscarriges and also aneamic (sp?) Look after yourself.

I often think that my children would be better off not spending so much time with me. No such thing as perfect mothers.

Take care
Amanda

By: Bob

Bob — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 10:00:35 +0000

I can’t comment on the huge issues and feelings about motherhood, bereavement etc. anywhere as well as the other people who have already commented, so I shan’t try.

If you put all that to one side (I know it’s a bit silly to) then your current job isn’t a waste of time and I don’t mean because it brings in money for you to do good things with. Your company has customers, who from time to time have problems with the products and services your company sells to them. This all exists independent of you.

What you’re doing is helping those poor souls to go home to their spouses and children less grumpy and stressed than they otherwise would. I know it’s not in the same league as social care, but it is still on the side of the angels.

If you’ve read Good Omens by Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman you might remember that bit where Crowley’s chuffed because he fouled up all of central London’s phone systems one lunchtime, and got all those workers grumpy, who then went home and kicked their cats / shouted at their children etc. Instead of the old school demons who peel away at one person’s soul over decades, he blasts lots of people with low-level evil. You’re being a balm to the people made grumpy by your company, so they don’t go home and kick the cat. Well, it made sense to me anyway :).

By: Ali

Ali — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 08:53:05 +0000

Hope you can just take it slowly and not be too hard on yourself - give yourself some time, it must be hard right now.

By: Lucy

Lucy — Thu, 26 Jul 2007 07:56:23 +0000

You know I’ve often noticed that good mothers are the ones who doubt themselves and think deeply about their parenting. The people who tell you how great they are… well they’re trying to compensate for the truth. Your kids sound so happy - and that’s the only benchmark that really counts

By: t-bird

t-bird — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 22:11:33 +0000

it does get better Jax, be gentle on yourself. you are a good mother, your kids are gorgeous and it’s not wrong to want more just because you do. Nor is it wrong to not be quire sure what to do with them - I’m sure I’ll figure out what Aprilia is for one day but for now we rub along.

By: Allie

Allie — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 21:29:14 +0000

Sorry things are so hard at the moment. Hope things get easier soon.

By: layla

layla — Wed, 25 Jul 2007 20:43:06 +0000

Oh Jax what you’ve said sounds so normal (totally familiar). Sleep, wait, try & be kind to yourself. You don’t need to make decisions; sometimes the idea of trying again is sickening & sometimes the idea of not is worse. You don’t have to justify wanting a child just because it hasn’t been straightforward

Trouble with pregnancy loss is that it makes everything feel like a colossal waste of time.