Making it up

I have been blogging somewhat incompletely over the past couple of weeks, mainly because I wasn’t quite sure how to phrase what I had to say.

Now however, not saying it is getting in the way of my real blogging - I haven’t been able to rant about incidental side occurences, or moan about the overall difficulties, and I’m almost past the emotional stage too, so it’s probably time to let you all in on it.

I’m not pregnant. Not any more. I was, briefly, just long enough to be happy and to be starting to not be able to fasten my trousers, and then almost as suddenly, I wasn’t.

I’ve done the weeping and wailing already (there’s a private blogpost in there that will probably stay private tbh) and now I’m at the wistful regret and wish I could move on bit, except I can’t, because it isn’t all over with yet.

So today I had to go to the hospital for another scan to see how things are progressing - sonographer was terribly apologetic as she said it wasn’t good news, and I hope she didn’t take it amiss when I told her I wasn’t expecting good news, I know perfectly well what is going on. I don’t feel pregnant any more, and haven’t for several days now.

So then I was presented with my three choices - general anaesthetic, medical management, or local anaesthetic. I chose option 4 - go home and let it just happen, which I suppose is not quite what the medical establishment prefer (I understand that they like to be actually doing something) as it wasn’t on the list at all. The nurse went back to ask the doctor and came back to say, “yes, we can let you go home.” Interesting terminology, wonder what they were planning on doing to stop me otherwise?

Quick rant as to why the doctor didn’t come to speak to me herself? It’s not as if she was with another patient or anything - we could see her from where we were sitting, shuffling papers in the centre of the ward. Bit odd to be sitting there watching her while the support nurse trotted back and forth!

But there you go. And now I’m going to relocate myself to Meltham and ferry my kids to school to and from Jan’s house while taking it easy and frantically crocheting things for the autumn fayre on Thursday. Normal service will be resumed at some point I daresay.

ps comments are closed, because in this case they really aren’t necessary. All anyone can really say is sorry, and I’ll just assume that’s what you would be saying.

Please all feel free to pop over and say hello to Paula at Aspie Home-Education and it’s welcome back to a ring stalwart, Sarah and co at just another morning here

Ludicrously happy to have you back Sarah.

Edited to add: And obviously a bit of a trend started now, as Linda of Breeze is also back with us, with a one child in, one child out approach happening there too Welcome back Linda.

This one is for Gill.

What do you send to someone who has everything?

Mouse RADAR - The World’s Smartest Mousetrap

“The cleanest, kindest, smartest mousetrap yet.

Problems with mice? Let RADAR take care of them. RADAR stands for Rodent Activated Detection And Riddance — which describes exactly what it does. We identify rodent runs, then simply lay mouse pest control RADAR boxes along them. When a mouse enters the box pressure sensitive pads detect their presence and close the doors. A measured dose of carbon dioxide is released — killing the rodent quickly and humanely, with no toxins going into the environment.

There’s no danger of contamination from pesticides or from the corpse because it is completely isolated — and the clever little device can even send an electronic alert or email to notify operatives of the capture.” From those lovely people at Rentokil

Bet they haven’t got one of those! Who on earth wants an email enabled mouse trap. Do the little blighters have time to type out their last wills and testaments? Do they get to phone a friend?

I don’t think this would be a rubbish Christmas present, but it would certainly be a very strange one.

(rubbish presents for rubbish people)

“Unleash the sex kitten inside…simply extend the Peekaboo pole inside the tube, slip on the sexy tunes and away you go!

“Soon you’ll be flaunting it to the world and earning a fortune in Peekaboo Dance Dollars”.

Tesco condemned for selling pole dancing toy - too bloody right.

Tesco are still selling it, but now it is “SUITABLE FOR ADULTS ONLY.”.

What could possibly have run through the mind of the rubbish marketing person’s mind who dreamt that this 100% rubbish gift was something rubbish parents would want to buy for their rubbish children?

Presumably, not content with dressing your daughter in slut fashion, you now feel the need to ensure that she is appropriately trained for a suitable career.

Ok, if an adult wants to buy it and use it, fine that is up to them and there are plenty of sex stores on line that stock it, but Tesco’s? But for whom precisely would this be a suitable gift?

I’ve just been round and trimmed the ring down to size - there are only 37 active blogs now, although there are an awful lot more waiting in the wings.

Given that, it’s entirely possible that I’ll miss you if you post while inactive, so please feel free to leave a comment on this post (which I’ll move into a page so that it stays in my sidebar) and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can - which during the week may well take up to a couple of days.

rubbish christmas presents volume 5

I’m trying to plan homemade presents for family and friends. We’ve done this with moderate success in previous years (last years not quite set truffles weren’t brilliant to tell the truth ) and I’m trying to get organised enough to get started now if not sooner (in other words, I’m also scouring the cupboards and stacks of stuff to find things I’ve bought to do through the year that can be reassigned iyswim).

With this in mind, I’m also wandering the web. Today I’ve found French Memory boards and Kids Journal in a jar which both feel like they have potential. I’m fairly sure I’ve seen cheap artists canvases in various places, and an excuse to buy a proper staple gun has almost got to be taken up I’ve got cotton fabrics and polyester batting, and ribbons and buttons won’t cost a lot so that could be a couple of aunties very happily set up. There’s a particular one I have in mind, who year in year out buys my children lovely carefully selected presents (last years for Small was a Thomas T shirt, not a big present, but one he loved). The thing that makes this so ironic for me is that she is actually no relation at all - she is the ex-wife of my stepfather’s eldest brother, and yet she takes time and energy to buy these lovely gifts for children she never sees.

Every year I swear that I will make the effort to go see her, and each year somehow the months fly by and I don’t. So I’m determined that I will put time and effort into a present for her to show how much I appreciate the thought she puts in to hers.

So does a memory board seem suitable? Or is it too twee for words?

I’m considering a kids journal for Big - with a suitably pink and sparkly book to write in, it could be a hit.

I’ll keep on digging though, and no doubt be back with more suggestions. We’ve started crafting today with a big pack of handmade recycled paper that I picked up at the Works yesterday for £4.99. I’m quite pleased with some of the effects I’ve achieved. I’m going to be spending the evening preparing yarn dolls for the school’s autumn fayre next Thursday - I’ve promised a variety of things for a home made stall. Might whip up a few more crocheted necklaces as well, it’s all for charity after all.

(Things that look like other things)

Some of you are probably thinking, “but I would love a guitar for Christmas”. Well wish on, because this is not guitar, it is a really nasty, nasty telephone.

Another phone. Anyone fancy sitting in the office holding a toy car to their head? No? If you want a fancy phone, just get a retro one, or a repro of an old one. Better yet, a phone is a tool, get one which is simply functional.

Look, we all know what happens when someone goes into that little room, and sometime we all will be the one who uses the last sheet. So put the fresh roll in plain view, don’t camouflage it!

Once upon a time, every greasy spoon in the country had these, and every single one had a nozzle gummed up with red-brown crud. It’s tomato sauce, it comes in bottles, leave it in bottles. Ugly, unnecessary, don’t know quite why I hate these so much.

Bottom line, whatever you buy people for Christmas, you can make it truly rubbish just by buying a version which looks like something it isn’t…

You just have to ask why.

from lidl, just in case you actually want one.

Here It Goes Again (YouTube 3 mins)

Police hunt breast enlargement cheats (Reuters)

Lords of the Logistic (Gallery - only in Asia)

Building Stonehenge (YouTube 6 mins)

Small just got up to go the toilet. I’m rather impressed that he woke up actually - I think we’re nearing the end of nappies (well, pull ups, but you know what I mean ). After that, he decided he was hungry, so I brought him down to have something to eat.

He started a banana, then handed it back, wanting something to take to his room. I said he could take the banana, but he said he couldn’t as he didn’t want to get his room messy. I said that I would help, but it was all to much, and he dissolved into a wailing heap.

We cuddled for a bit, then he decided that he wanted a toy to take upstairs.

Not the dinosaur, that’s too scary.

Not the teddy bear, that’s too loud. (It’s a musical bear with built in keyboard, so that’s understandable).

Not the clown, that’s too funny.

Not the monkey, that isn’t a toy. (????)

The toy book! Perfect.

So Small, and the toy book and the monkey (acceptable as well once another toy had been located) went up to bed. I took him up and tucked him in, and tried to work out what he was saying to me next. After several attempts I realised he was saying he wanted the tape on.

But Big’s already asleep, I explained, and I don’t want to put on anything that will disturb her.

The bottom lip came out. The eyes glistened. He tried ever so hard not to make a noise though.

Inspiration! How about your baby music?

That’s a good idea. So now he’s listening quietly to Eva Cassidy, Songbird, which we all refer to as his baby music, from its playing during his birth. I assume he doesn’t actually remember it, but he’s always liked it.

I’ve only had to go back up twice since, and Tim has only had to go up once so far…

I mean, why? Why would you do that? Why would anyone think that was a good idea?

But hold on, it gets worse.

In my view, anyone insane enough to attach a tree to their mobile phone deserves to get banged on the side of the head with a tree. But a bloody great big one.

I think I am going to buy a few of these, and see how many people I can get to make themselves look utterly ridiculous by trying them on.

I mean a Petzl head torch is one thing, but a Maglite stuck in a headband?

Don’t think I know anyone who can affect a vacuous grin like that though.

While we were at centerparcs, as previously mentioned, we went out for dinner. As he’d done many times on our way to and from places, Small rode there on his scooter. This was a particularly well equipped scooter, with tools, especially a hammer, attached.

On the way back to our little house, walking along holding someone’s hand, he suddenly started wailing. Eventually it was possible to determine that the problem was that he had forgotten his scooter. Tim and I exchanged looks, and then in a soothing voice, I said “it’s alright, Daddy will go back for your scooter”.

And he did, and returned moments later, wheeling a lovely scooter along. Unfortunately, it was the wrong one.

Don’t ask me how this is possible, I’m not sure I know!

Small’s imagination frequently amazes me. Tonight he sat and narrated a story out of one of our many Dr Seuss books to me. It was “What was I scared of” and the pictures are rather wonderful, and he got the story pretty much spot on, apart from calling them trousers instead of pants.

Wonder when he’s just going to start reading - I’d guess going on past performance, it’ll be a while yet. In fact, knowing him, he’ll wait until I’m ready to call in the marines, and then start reading fluently.

Gotta love that boy.

She inspired me to try out some reading tests on Big. We did this Schonell test that Tim thought he remembered from his time at school, and she scored an age of 9.6 on it.

Then we went on to do the Burt test because she insisted and she got age 8 on that one. Overall, she’s pretty pleased with herself, can’t think why

I don’t really have any major concerns about the basics of learning - she’s pretty much cracked reading although it goes in spurts rather, and I’m sure maths is being covered whether she knows it or not. What we are wondering about is the enrichment side of it all, and also, we’re beginning to wonder whether not having her age mates about her is meaning she isn’t developing the confidence in her own abilities that she might if she were able to compare herself with other six year olds. Not that I’m altogether sure whether that is good or bad, tbh, as she is insufferably arrogant about some things already, and it might be a bit much if she was like that about everything!

So we are thinking of getting Story of the world, at least the first two books worth, and aiming for a tick the boxes on number of activities offered each week. As we’ve got this throw up in the air and any number of ppl can catch, I feel that we need to be more structured in how we approach this whole educational lark atm, and I’m hoping to sit down with Ailsa to double check what is happening at school so that we don’t clash or more importantly, leave any big gaps.

Story of the world for history, which will also to some extent incorporate geography as well, a couple of science offerings a week from our many science experiment books, languages is still something we’re pondering although I’d really like to be offering something now, and it does occur to me that all this time we spend in the car is empty time atm. Music we’re expanding into with more offerings easily accessible through the media pc - I was slightly stunned when Small sat down with a leappad with me at the Beans and we did a quiz where he had to identify the instruments by sound, and the only one he didn’t know was the accordion. How does he know what a tuba sounds and looks like??? Probably Little Einsteins or something similar. Guess playhouse disney wasn’t all bad - but we don’t have it any more.

And I’ll continue arting and crafting (rather more of the latter than the former probably). I’m trying to lead by example - one of her problems is not wanting to do anything that doesn’t happen immediately, so when we started with some crochet on holiday she gave up when she realised how long it was going to take her to finish the pattern she’d chosen, even though she’d cracked treble crochet just like that (not a particularly easy stitch to my way of thinking). At which point I picked up the elephant I was just finishing (must get a piccie if I can find her!) and asked how long that had taken me - about two/three weeks I think. Gave her something to think about anyway.

Told you I’d be back to talk about educational musings

A definite first when we reached centerparcs - there was no queue at the arrivals lodge! Think we got there around 5 and went straight to our little house. Small really took to it - think the lightswitches within his reach and separate bedrooms were the high point of his week

Quiet evening that first night - I popped up to the shop and information to get a map and booklet as I’d forgotten the ones they sent out. Well, they fooled me - the booklet used to be a little one, but now it’s almost A4 so I didn’t realise it was the one I was meant to keep! The map we later found out was of Oasis Whinfell, rather than Elveden (the latter being the village we were at) so not hugely useful I think there may have been some dvd watching after tea, not that I can recall what we had for tea.

Tuesday started the pattern for the week - we went up to the swimming pool in the morning, stayed there for a couple or three hours, had some lunch in cafe refresh (which was actually surprisingly good value) and then took the children to a playground, while Tim went off to do something with his phone as he was struggling to get connected to the outside world. Small cracked me up as we walked to the playground - we stopped to look at the squirrels, and he said “I saw squirrels on autumnwatch”. So I replied “and now you are seeing them in real life”.
He looked up at me and said “I like going to reallife”.

I do too

Tuesday night might have been the night that Tim and I watched The Chronicles Of Narnia - The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe (buy one, get one free*) [2005]. We’d got it to preview to see whether Big would enjoy it. We thought overall probably not - given that she’d had a fit about the idea of watching Monsters Inc at the Beans at the weekend as it’s too scary apparently, I felt that there were several scenes in Narnia that would result in many broken nights for us in the future. Not that I thougth it was done in a sensational way or anything, I’m just not sure she’d cope with various bits of sacrifice scenes and so on. So we’ve told her she can watch it after she’s read it, which should put off the whole problem for another couple of years!

Wednesday I’m fairly sure involved more swimming and more playgrounding. Small spent much time going down a slide very very slowly - one of the lifeguards had said to me that some swimming costumes do stick, and if his did, she suggested taking off the top half (he was wearing the full sunsuit as I find it easier to spot them at a distance iyswim) and posting him down on his tummy. I didn’t try that til Thursday, and then wished I had done earlier as he shot down the slide with a huge grin on his face, and that was that - we couldn’t get him away from the slides at all!

At this point I shall diverge into a short rant. Well come on, it wouldn’t be my blog without it, would it? Especially on Friday morning, I spent a long time with Small in the children’s area, supervising him on the slides. I had to speak to him a lot about queueing and not pushing in - he doesn’t do it aggressively, he just doesn’t appear to notice that there are ppl waiting, especially as he’s talking to his hands and carrying on some imaginative game throughout. And then I’d have spoken to him and have him take his place in the queue and other young children would push past me and him to the front! I spoke to one young girl who did this - she looked to be around 5 at a guess. She just stared at me completely blankly and denied all knowledge, and then was gone away down the slide.

Another parent came over to speak to her son - and made it clear that the even smaller child (about 2 years old I’d have thought) who was with him wasn’t hers, and said that she prefers just leaving them to fight it out. Hm, but Small won’t, I said, and I’d really rather he didn’t learn to. He’s a solid creature, and will thump Big with little compunction - I dread to think what damage he could cause to a small child at the top of a flight of stone steps I was left yet again wondering whether it’s me or the rest of the world that’s a bit mad

Actually, most of the interaction I saw between children and their parents at centerparcs was rather upsetting. Many parents who obviously didn’t have much of a clue whether they were supposed to be behaving as children or adults as they assisted small children in swimming pools and playgrounds, never really looking like they enjoyed it (I doubt I did either tbh, except for the moments when I had hot chocolate or a mocha in my hand ), others who were totally oblivious to the horrendous behaviour of their offspring mere feet away from where they chatted or read. As we were leaving on Friday I met the eyes of the lifeguard who was standing to attention, closely watching the throng at the top of the steps to the long children’s slide. “Don’t envy you your job today” I said, and she nodded wryly.

Sounds like I didn’t enjoy it at all - that isn’t true. Watching Small with a huge grin on his face as he appeared at the bottom of the flume, or sitting in the waves in the big pool was good. So was taking Big around the river with her discovering she really didn’t need much support at all. I can cope with standing pushing a swing for half an hour, although my heart was in my mouth watching the pair of them on a high climbing frame.

It was a good week.

We rounded it off on Thursday night with a meal out at Huck’s Diner. I really enjoyed this - it was well arranged for families. They have a buffet setup for children so they can get their food immediately, and then go to play in the play area while parents eat at their leisure, and the background music (soft rock, just my kind of think ) really is background. And with a bit of luck I’m submitting the receipt for the meal to work, as a thank you for the overtime that delayed us getting away last weekend

Friday, as I’ve already said, we did manage swimming again. Then we left and headed for Bury St Edmunds and starbucks, to do some website repair work. On from there to the Beans again, where we ruined their weekend eating plans by crashing tea and spent the evening with their other guests as well, Katy and B. Set off for home at 9.30 and were making good time until we got to Markham moor where both the A1 and the road into Retford were shut. So we turned left and headed across country down little windy roads until we came onto the A614, but the whole thing cost us probably about 30 mins.

Home late (unsurprisingly) means it’s been a very subdued weekend. I’m just getting to grips with the washing, and trying to persuade myself that it really is work again tomorrow.

Will blog separately about educational thoughts and discussions we’ve had this week, and will also try to return with some piccies

or maybe not, given that two blog posts appeared anyway, we’ve been away for a week. Nearly a week. We went last Saturday, only a few hours later than planned (I brought a bit of work home on Friday night, that somehow expanded to take 8 hours, which meant even working Friday evening and getting up early on Sat morning, I didn’t get done til lunchtime). But then we got away, and headed first of all for the Beans, where Big made happy noises and disappeared, and Small poddled about as he does. We adults drank tea, and later wine, and chatted lots, and it was lovely.

Sunday followed much the same pattern, along with a bit of crafting in the middle to focus attention away from the whinging of overly tired children

Monday we got away bright and early in order to let Chris clear off to wherever it was he was clearing off to and moments later a plaintive wail from the back of the car made it clear that we’d left Big’s doll behind. This was not a good thing. We stopped and called Chris but he’d already departed as well, so we made tentative arrangements to call again at the end of the week and proceeded towards Ely.

Ah, hang on, I forgot Tesco’s. While packing for the holiday I discovered a small problem with Big’s clothing - precisely that in fact. So we went to Tesco’s and I headed for the sale rack, and grabbed her a couple of skirts, three tops, 5 pairs of socks, 3 pairs of tights and a pair of trousers, all for under £30. Quite impressed by that. Then we also splashed out on a dvd each (with a bogof on Disney DVDs, it wasn’t that expensive either ) although somehow we got through the entire week without watching my Calendar Girls!

So, then on to Ely. We had some lunch in a lovely little cafe above one of those terribly quaint gift shops, and then Tim headed off to find grass for Small to run on while Big and I hunted for fabric to make dresses for our yarn dolls in the charity shops, remarkably unsuccessfully. Walking back to the car we were going to pass the cathedral, so we went across for a look at it, and then saw signs for the Stained Glass Museum. Big has been showing interest in stained glass recently, so we split our forces, and I took her into the museum while Tim and Small went for a walk.

They had a quiz sheet for children in the museum, that consisted of a sheet of numbered stickers, and a sheet of numbered questions. We pottered round the museum and each time we found a window we had a sticker of, added it to the question sheet and answered the question. Time really flew - I thought we’d been in there about 30 minutes when apparently it had been an hour when Tim texted to say if we were having fun keep going, and we were another 45 minutes after that. There was a light box to make patterns on, and a window specially designed with textured glasses for feeling, and more textured glass pieces for doing a rubbing to make your own stained glass picture. All in all it suited Big perfectly - I’d thought it was a bit pricey at £6 for the two of us, but I think we really got our money’s worth. Apparently they will do group educational visits so for anyone in the area, it might be worth adding it to your list of possible venues

Outside again, we met up with Tim and Small and headed back to the car, with a short detour as we passed a man attempting to take a picture of a building. Small likes cameras, and they are obviously meant to be aimed at him, so despite my embarrassed encouragement to move along, he stood there smiling up at the camera, squarely in the way until the guy gave in, took a picture and then showed him the result. Can’t help wondering what his holiday shots look like now - lots of piccies of architectural wonders, and then a small blond smily boy somewhere in the middle

And with that, we clambered back into the car, and headed off for the second part of our holiday at centerparcs.

WOW South Park

Very funny, in spite of (or maybe because of) my not being a tremendous fan of either World Of Warcraft or South Park.

Well worth the mega download for the full screen version of this special South Park episode.

There’s an independent review of primary education underway - feel free to contribute.

I rather think I’ve just seen Nigel P on telly - programme called Child Snatchers on Ftn?