Comments on: phew

By: Allie

Allie — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 20:39:09 +0000

Ours each get a small ‘un-birthday’ present on the other’s birthday. No, we didn’t when I was a kid as there were four of us and not much money. But if I go down that route I end up sounding like someone from that monty python sketch about how tough we had it in my young day…

Happy birthday to Big for Monday!

By: Jax

Jax — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 19:04:19 +0000

She didn’t, she said that’s the way it goes and in May it will all revolve around him. Tried to offer him a funsize milkybar, but he saw through that one in flash. Hohum.

By: Kath

Kath — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 18:58:19 +0000

When we were little my sister and I got a small token pressie on each others birthdays. I expect we’ll do that here, but I hadn’t given it alot of thought yet cos L’s still oblivious. You would have hoped Small’s grandma would have been a bit more thoughtful/compassionate. Hope she felt a prick of conscience for making him collapse in tears. And happy birthday to Big for Monday.

By: Nic

Nic — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 16:27:26 +0000

We always had presents on each others birthdays when I was small. I suspect it started for a similar reason as my birthday is so soon after Christmas I would have imagined my (younger) brother would have struggled as to why I was getting more gifts just 12 days after the frenzy but he wasn’t. It also worked well the other way cos I was always sad when my birthday was over that there would be no more pressies until Christmas which was a whole year away. So having at least one pressie to look forward to in May (bro’s birthday) was nice.

We do it here for the same sort of reason really – it is really hard for a small child to accept all the attention being lavished on the other sibling. Also having had it done to us when we were children it never really struck me to question it really I guess if we had more than two it might well have become a tradition we dropped though..

By: jayne

jayne — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 14:03:15 +0000

We always do pressies on their birthdays to the others!
It’s the law!
It started when the actual BIRTHday happened,and which ever new baby would give a gift to it’s new sibling/s,and it just stuck really!
I am sure that it isn’t really must do,but for us it has become part of our year of celebrating getting older,good for the birthday child to give……….

By: Alison

Alison — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 12:54:40 +0000

We don’t do anything like that for birthdays – hey, we never did when I was little and I’m ok – but I guess as Merry said, there are a lot more of them not getting anything, which must help!

But I can totally understand how Small felt, and I would have been as gutted as you were – I know there have been times when stepMIL has turned up here with clothes for P&M and nothing for E and he’s been *really* disappointed.

By: Amanda

Amanda — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 12:20:16 +0000

We have done ‘token’ presents when they were very small, but now we do a family thing (meal or outing).

By: Jax

Jax — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 10:12:12 +0000

I think the problem was very much the unexpectedness of it – it’s not Big’s birthday until Monday, so I wasn’t expecting mother to turn up with pressies last night, but given the hectic weekend we have planned I suppose I should have. Big was very good with Small, I just wish I could have spotted that disappointment before it occurred – strikes me that that was a hard lesson

He won’t be there for most of it on Sunday, as I’m taking Big out for her treat, but he’ll be at school on Tues when they are doing a montessori thing. Presumably that doesn’t involve presents though, so won’t have the same issue. I will have to have a little think about how to talk to him about it.

I nearly cried when he was crying, he was ever so upset, and it wasn’t in a greedy way, iykwim, it was just that he was left out. He’d have been perfectly happy with just a tiny something wrapped up as that was how he’d come to understand presents worked. If christmas hadn’t been quite so mad, he wouldn’t have had that understanding anyway!

By: Heather

Heather — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:59:43 +0000

We were toying with that at Pip’s last birthday (end of November so Titch was 2 and 3/4)and decided to try explaining and warning her about it. She was fine, totally, didn’t even once worry about it and joined in all the excitment with good grace. Pip let her play with her presents and I was glad we hadn’t gone down that route because it might be a bit mean but it’s a gentle lesson in not always being the centre of the universe. Had I suspected that she would find it hard I would have given her a token something, can’t really see the point in hard lessons! If you think Small could cope with it with a little preparation, why not let him.

Titch would find someone just arriving with a bag of pressies for Pip really rough too and would be likely to yell “where’s mine?” rather than just empty!

By: Kirsty

Kirsty — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:59:28 +0000

we’ve never done presents for siblings. To me, a birthday is about that person and it’s always been remarkably successful (for my 2 anyway!!) to keep it that way. It might help that we tend to (try to) do something as a family on their birthdays too so they have something exciting to look forward to too.

By: Merry

Merry — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 08:44:46 +0000

I have so much to ebay, but couldn’t do it for last night. Oh well.

We have so many birthdays here that it seems to be less of an issue now but certainly we have done that at times, more at crucial ages than anything else. So while i would except Amelie to manage now, i daresay Josie might get a token at 2. Still, here at least, 3/4 won’t be getting and that does alter things. I know when Fran was 6, Maddy and Amelie got a little token something.

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 06:41:40 +0000

damn! I forgot to do my ebay listing – grrrr!

Anna has a long denim skirt, but it was from the Gap Sale, one of her bargains at only £2.99!

By: rosie

rosie — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 01:15:02 +0000

Yes, I like the idea of giving presents on your birthday too. I believe this is normal in some cultures. I seem to remember at Kindergarten Joy handing out small gifts (0f a wrapped homemade biscuit) to her friends and really feeling special. And I’m sure I usually get something for the others when one of them has a birthday, as well as getting them involved in making and giving birthday cards/surprises. (I have learnt the hard way too! with tantrums, the lot!)It seems that even 5 and 8 year olds find it hard not to be the birthday person!
…O, no, what have I said.. It’s my birthday soon!

By: Jax

Jax — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 00:48:43 +0000

Glad to hear someone is with me, and nice to hear from you Tech – hope you find Tesco skirts for your two!

By: Tech

Tech — Fri, 13 Jan 2006 00:46:57 +0000

I’m going to start that tradition too for the same reasons. My girls’ birthday is coming up and I feel it will be very hard for B to understand why 2 out of the 3 get pressies, especially as you say, so soon after christmas. Sod what anyone else thinks, life is tough when you’re 2, if we can make it easier then we should, hard knocks can come when they’re old enough to cope better

Spookily have just been looking for long denim skirts for my two, it’s the only *girly* item of clothing they have requested in years, so I’m off to look at that now, thanks