Making it up

sorry about that.

Hump day Weds, and on the way to a week off, so looking forward to that. Really, really looking forward to that. More than you can imagine.

Anyway, so what have we been up to since I last blogged? Um, would help if I could remember when I last blogged….grief, that was a while ago wasn’t it?

Let’s see, can I remember the weekend? Oh yeah, we went oop north to help a fellow home eddor celebrate the first birthday of her youngest offspring. Hi Trog, was fun, thanks for inviting us along. And we did family things and dropped in on a sister of mine, so that was good too.

Sunday Big did some maths (yes, from a workbook. I take the point that life is maths, but unfortunately atm I’m not here to engage in that, so I’m having to rely on a slightly more literary approach to it all). She also did some making Christmas decorations from Magic Maize, which worked pretty well. I got a couple of hours to myself upstairs as well which was good.

Monday, work day. Less said the better. Tues (that’s yesterday, right?) was school, and then we went off the path for the evening, arriving horribly late with grumpy children. Sorry Jan - and thanks so much for the prize winning chocolate cake! I really enjoyed that

Back to school for them today, and when I went to pick them up, Small was drawing on a blackboard with chunky chalks. It was completely unlike any picture I’ve seen him do before, using colours in a considered way, drawing shapes and colouring them in, and telling us what some of it was. Part of it was a ‘man’ (which is not a word I’ve heard before), and some of it was ‘blood’ (? that’s what it sounded like, but I’m not sure I was understanding him properly). Anyway, I was really blown away by it, so Ailsa (school principal) went and got their digital camera and got a piccie of him doing it and another when he said he was done. Looking forward to getting those.

On the way home Big told me that she’d done reading today, and read 3 red books and 3 blue books, which sounds impressive, though I’ve no idea what the books are like! We then proceeded to have another row in the car, when I tried to explain that I don’t just want her to kind of tick off reading and forget about it, I want her to be able to read so that she can read books that she enjoys, so she wanted to know what books those would be, and I explained that I couldn’t really tell her that, but when she found one, she’d know it and it all degenerated into the kind of conversation that isn’t good to have while you’re trying to join the M1 at 70 miles an hour…

Got home tonight and processed the mail and discovered the reason that various places have declined our standard credit card is that we seem to have rather bypassed the credit limit. Now correct me I’m wrong, but limit usually means something you can’t pass. So why have they permitted us to go sailing somewhat drastically beyond it? Apparently they also wrote to me about it, but I’m assuming that I probably threw that out thinking it was yet another invitation from them to take out a loan… (did I put the banging head against brick wall emoticon on here? Don’t think I did). While I fully accept that it’s my responsibility to keep track of my credit and spending thereon, I kind of expect them to keep to their end of the bargain by enforcing the limit that we agreed when I took out the card - is that wrong of me? And surely including an application form for a loan while you’re sending a statement warning that we’ve gone well over our limit is just inviting trouble? Grrr….

Anyways, looks like I really need to sort out our finances this weekend, so that I can have a clear week without worries.

And I haven’t done the site report I was going to do tonight, but now I’m knackered and I do have to go to work tomorrow, so I think I’ll drink my chocolate and head off.

Acerbic enough for you Kris?

there wasn’t much to forgive

By contrast - my first response from Ms Engels:

Thank you for your email which has finally come to me rather round the houses.

I have received a number of emails via the Writetothem website, but I have no record of receiving anything from you, so I’m sorry that this is the first time you have received anything from me.

I send an acknowledgement of all correspondence received (whether by email, fax or post) and try to reply as quickly as possible. I reply to all correspondence, whether it is supportive, hostile or in between.

As you are aware, having been elected only in May this year, it has taken quite some time to find, rent and set up an office in Eckington, to get a room in the House of Commons and to employ people. This is not an excuse, only a reason for why I may not have been as quick and efficient as I would like to be in responding. As far as this goes, I hope that things can only get better.

To the main points of your email:

ID cards I share many of your concerns on ID cards – particularly the issue of forgeries and cost. I’m not sure off the top of my head when the bill is coming before the House of Commons again, but I’ll find out and get back to you. But there is still time to make changes and amendments.

Rebelling I hope that I will never vote against my whip and Party. I feel very strongly that I was elected as a representative of the Labour Party and as such should not pick and chose where to support and where not to support. Had I stood as an Independent candidate in the General Election, I would not be an MP today. There are certain issues, such as ID cards, which were part of the national Labour Party manifesto on which I was elected, so I would certainly not ‘rebel’ – especially not on this issue. I also think that by the time something comes to a final vote, it is too late to do anything. The time for discussion and persuasion comes much much earlier. An effective MP presents a good case and achieves change because the arguments are right – and those arguments are to be had now on ID cards, not on the evening of a vote.

I know that this is not what you want to hear, but I thought you’d rather have a truthful if disappointing response.

I’m happy to expand on any of these issues.

Please also let me know if you would like me to send you more details of the ID cards bill and at what point it is. The House of Commons provides excellent briefings and I’d be more than happy to send them to you if you send me your postal address.

Thanks for your email and sorry again for the delay in replying.

Best wishes

Natascha Engel

I don’t really know where to start. The thing that strikes me most clearly is that I was under the impression MPs were elected to represent their constituents. Not going to happen here is it?

I am considering my response.

This is the sort of thing I’m talking about. Everyone is out there getting rich off the web (well OK, maybe not rich precisely, but go with me, I’m feeling very down atm).

And Merry and Kris have nanoed to success - while my success lies in realising that nano was one step too far in a hectic month and quitting before I failed spectacularly. Somehow doesn’t have quite the same ring to it, does it? However, I’ve entered into a wonderful deal with Merry, and fully expect to be supplied with all my chocolate needs for quite some time very soon

Right, half a day left. I’ve caught up with the washing (well, I have when I’ve hung it out to dry), Tim sorted the kitchen last night so it’s looking much better than usual. This afternoon I have a friend popping in for a cuppa and the children want to do Magic Maize Christmas decorations, while I’ve to fit in some hours to catch up from last week, and get ahead on next. I also intend to do some more business plotting, financial management and maybe list some decluttering, but top of the pile is getting to bed at a reasonable time - sleep deprivation is the one part of my state of mind that I can tackle easily and regularly.

I’m off to bed

I’ve been in a bad mood for several days now. I’ve come home and ranted at Tim, who has wisely refused to argue about anything with me.

There are lots of things contributing to this. Part of it is the time of year - I don’t like miserable grey weather, and I’m seeing a lot of it. There’s the driving, which really irritates me (why do so many ppl leave their brains outside of their cars? Prize for idiocy of the week goes to the complete moron who was driving a pickup truck on the motorway with two trees in the back of it. Said trees had probably started off pointing forwards, but by this point, they were sticking out sideways and hitting the lorries either side of him.) Then there’s the work, but less said about that the better.

Today I’ve been working from home. The children have not precisely been cooperating. But we got through it. And I’ve spent the evening plotting our next life move. Expect big changes left right and centre - I’ve had enough of this. I’m bright, I have skills, I have ideas, and I’m fed up of being two steps behind at all times.

First change - I’m changing the habit of sitting up doing bugger all all night, and going to bed now. Good night all.

although I’d still like to know how a child who can do logic puzzles designed for much older children and adults can struggle over 1 add 2….and as for concentration span! aargh….

Anyway, she’s racing through her exeter maths without the slightest demurral, although we struggled rather on a question about colouring in every second ball and every third ball, I think because the idea of going back to one wasn’t there. Or something. And I’ve been wandering around Shiller Math and wondering about making a purchase - it would fit very well with what they are doing at school (I assume!) and I am worrying on several levels about maths atm. Basically, the plan on maths was that I would keep an eye on what we were randomly covering from our vast selection of workbooks and resources (although when I totted up spending today, I realised it was less than £50, not bad really considering how much we’ve got kicking about) and make sure all the bases were covered. I think maths is important - it is the grounding for so many other disciplines. And I would hate to let it slip and get to the point my sister got to, where she just didn’t believe in any of her abilities because she couldn’t get basic maths. But now that I’m not here day in day out to do that, I’m not nearly as comfortable. I know Big is very young, but she’s also fairly bright, and another concern is that we let her down by allowing her to waste her formative years as it were. I believe that there is a window of opportunity for maths in much the same way for language and so I think it’s important for her to enjoy whatever it is we provide for her, and that it developes all the basic skills she needs to be able to go on to whatever it is she wants to be able to do.

Phew, that’s rather a lot of stuff to take in! Probably less than coherent as Big (at her request) is doing extra pages of Exeter at the table, so I keep getting interrupted to read the next question out!

She’s just filled in that dot is bigger than minus dot….um, yes, guess she has got the hang of minus numbers then….

other than that, I’ve played with a wiki for the sake of my own education ;), had a bath to get rid of the stomach ache, and make fajitas for tea, which I enjoyed, and other ppl didn’t really.

Right, must chase them to bed, may be back later.

it reminds me why we are doing this.

So far this morning, Small climbed up to the table and wrote in his maths book unprompted , Big and I discussed the Exeter maths question that we didn’t understand yesterday (and she got the hang of negative numbers instantly, probably because we didn’t make a big song and dance of it), and right now they are playing with a John Adams optical science kit that has barely been out since it was comprehensively played with during the portico’s first visit (which is quite a while ago then). Oh, and we discovered that there isn’t a piece missing, it’s just that two of the pieces were still fastened together, thus leaving an empty space in hte carefully designed plastic sleeve thing. Bonus!

There is a certain amount of cooperation going on, and Small worked out which piece I needed and handed it to me at the right time, which was fairly impressive.

Only downside to this particular kit is that you need very strong hands - which Big doesn’t have (neither do I for that matter).

Tim and I have had some technical business style conversations which means that he has said “told you so” lots to me (grr - but he does have a point) and we will be rationalising (and upgrading) the hosting I offer over the next few days. Also in talks with another home eddor (you know who you are!) to do some bartering of skills and facilities, which may mean that I stop mismanaging the finances of my little endeavour and hand that side over to someone else while I concentrate on the technical issues, so that could improve my cash flow.

And last night in bed, I realised that part of my recent down turn has been feeling guilt over the many many things that I’ve started but not finished, so I will be spending some time today writing apologetic emails withdrawing from a number of projects (nothing that affects anyone reading here!) and I suspect that will make me feel a whole lot better. Might even kickstart me into finishing a few things that I can still manage to finish.

I think I need a project manager for me - any offers?

EducationGuardian.co.uk | eG weekly | The greatest foe of Tony Zoffis

Because it’s worth sharing.

comments from Trog, Sarah and Joyce. Sorry guys.

And in the time I was dealing with the 864 spam that were in there as well, I got another 20 spam! Really don’t understand why they do it - I suppose that there *are* websites that allow spam through but I still don’t think it’s an effective marketing technique.

Right, have just had my first sit down (and food) since I crawled out of bed at 10.15, and need to get up and at it again. Small smells (again), there’s washing to hang out (again) and shopping to bring in (again).

Am beginning to wonder whether it’s financially viable for me to work - it means we’ve to run two cars, with all the associated costs, childcare which isn’t what I wanted anyway, and I don’t seem to have an awful lot left of my so called take home pay at the end of it. But Tim’s work is only temporary, while mine is supposed to be permanent, so it would seem foolish to give mine up right at the moment.

Can you tell I’m chasing myself in circles atm? Much more to ponder on and discuss coming up later, after I deal with the backside, the shopping, the washing and the kitchen. Oh, and spend some time with the children, knew there was something else I wanted to do today!

is not going to be a quick or easy solution it would appear. Big is of the opinion that if I am here, I am here solely for her entertainment. And Small, somewhere in the last few months has become much less self contained than he used to be - more tantrums for the smallest of reasons, and it’s difficult to read code when someone is screaming in the vicinity.

Anyway, we’ll figure it out. We get another practise run on Monday, as my car is in the garage, so I’m working from home. I’ve just been given a proper project to lead, so I’ll be spending the weekend reading the spec and working out what questions I need to ask come Monday morning

So, I did require some education to go on today. I’m beginning to feel a bit antsy that our arrangement at the moment is not optimum for the autonomous style we had previously sort of been following. Particularly wrt maths and reading, which I kind of feel are central. So Big eventually gave in and sat down and flew through two pages of the much maligned Exeter maths book, that’s been on the go since February now, and I’m getting a bit tired of it. I’ve worked out that she needs to do two pages a day to finish it by her original target, so two pages a day is what she is going to do. Only took about 90 minutes today :-/ And there wasn’t time and energy enough for reading after that, so I got them painting out instead.

I get brownie points for that anyway. And for home cooking dinner. And if I get the washing hung up in the bathroom (don’t think freezing it dry outside would work somehow) I can go to bed knowing that I’m slightly up on tomorrow’s chores.

Oh, and continuing the occasional theme of abusing well loved bedtime stories, today we have had Small boy says Blue…

Lin (again And we’re working on the ringcode, aren’t we Katy?)

Sarah and

Louise

This here ring is getting big these days

No, no no!

with apologies to the author of Rattletrap car

Small has entered a new phase. He is adoring school. He is coming out with new words there - mainly names of other children, which is new behaviour in and of itself. He is smily and happy and cooperative, and everyone loves him.

But not at home. At home, with me, the smallest request results in a screaming tantrum of a scale only previously seen in a large well known toy retailer. This morning we had a tantrum about getting dressed (and I wasn’t minded to take him out in the cold in last nights nappy and his pjs, and I wasn’t about to cancel the dentist appt again!), we had a tantrum about something I can’t remember, we had another when I got him to school, then one when I turned up to pick him up. Basically, he doesn’t want the status quo to change. I’m assuming that it’s partially a reaction to everything changing around him, partly related to his age, probably contributed to by his communication difficulties, and definitely exacerbated by his continual tiredness. I daresay my own tiredness doesn’t help, but the lie-in this morning should have pulled today back, and I’m not commuting (though still working) on Friday, so that should help too.

And Big, how is she coping with all of this? Well, she’s not overly happy. What she wants is me at home. What she can’t have right now is me at home. She’s OK with school two days, if we can up the ration of metime the rest of the week, and we’re working on it. Not that this morning worked desperately well, she didn’t want to cooperate with me working at all. That will *have* to change.

Oh, and I’ve gone right off cats. Merry, it wasn’t me last night. The smell that is. After I’d been and showered, it still smelled. Eventually I crawled around the floor and found a patch that the cat had apparently decorated when he’d been accidentally left in the other night. So I dealt enthusiastically with that with the vanish, then went to bed.

And couldn’t understand it when it still smelled this morning So I explored further, and found the other half of his business. Bleargh. On some of Harry’s clothes - Big was terribly upset. So there was lots of washing, scrubbing and disinfecting, and several rude words uttered in the cat’s direction. But it doesn’t smell in here any more, and the floor is an awful lot more clean than it was beforehand!

Right, must go eat. Probably ought to nano. Think I’m going to set my personal aim for half the standard total. Yes, I’m wimping out. Oh well. Sanity, and family, have to come first.

You know, if I’d been aiming to finish on a particular word tonight, I wouldn’t have been able to do it

Oh, and isn’t Tesco scary?

Off to bed now - working from home in the morning around a dentist appt, so looking forward to a whole half hour extra in bed

while no one was looking

Bit of reading (very little bit, very tired girl again tonight), and also some personal stuff, when Tim managed to set off the smoke alarm before they fell asleep. We’ve never had a fire drill - in effect we did tonight. It worked rather well actually, think even Small got the gist of it.

And that was pretty much that. He had a ten minute melt down after I tried to get him out of the bath (after a long bath, 10 minute warning, 5 minute warning, big getting out, he got lots of clues!). Only person I’ve ever seen have tantrums like that was my youngest sister, and we always blamed her red hair. Guess it’s not that then.

And now I’ve not even reached 10k on nano, and this is a rather pathetic blog post. Got to go to bed though. g’night.

4.

1 to Big, 2 to Small, and 1 to me This is no way to spend a weekend.

Yesterday was pleasant but pplful, which I think then had a knock on effect to today. But how else are we supposed to do it? Calm children, but no friends, because we can never find time to see them?

Barbara came over for the afternoon, and we caught up somewhat, then Jan and Jonathan popped in unexpectedly, with just Jasper, having disposed of their other offspring (but only temporarily, I’m assured ) and stopped for a cuppa and to help us drool some more over houses.

Today, I had planned to *do things* with the children. This was instantly derailed by a call from Big’s oldest friend, who is in the process of moving further south, offering a playdate. So that was her off and about, but we had to fall out over her hair first. Is it asking too much that a five (very nearly six) year old makes some attempt to brush her hair? Probably given that I rarely brush mine Nevertheless, she has promised to make attempts daily in future, and then amazed me by successfully putting it into a pony tail.

We proceeded to fall out over her coat - she has issues with outerwear, and at the same time, Small decided to assert his independence and refuse to come anywhere near me to get his shoes on. I got as far as the door without them both, having wailed at Tim about it all, but that prompted a sudden change of heart on both their parts.

Dropped off Big, and drove away with a screaming kicking Small, desolate that he wasn’t going on the playdate as well. He kept it up for nearly 10 minutes as we got stuck in traffic (on a Sunday, I ask you!) then fell asleep.

And now I’ve got to go sort the third load of washing out, and tidy the kitchen. May well be back later though.

This morning, Big has tiny pop on. Phil Collins is singing.

“Where’s my ass?” asked Big.

“Um, what?” So I listened to the song. ” ‘Take a look through my eyes’ he’s saying.”

So now she doesn’t understand how you can look through someone else’s eyes. Sometimes you just can’t win.

***

A couple of nights ago, happy children cavorting in the bathroom. Then, crash, thud…silence.

“What was that?”

Little voice “me”.

(Probably only really funny or interesting if you know that Small has previously had no word, sound or sign for himself. He’s now got “me” and is using “mine” correctly, rather than just as an aggrieved noise )

***
last night, giving Tim a good night kiss turned out to be a little more exciting than usual - we got quite a severe shock. Which led me to leave the room giggling “at least there’s still electricity between us….”

Not.

Have just left Small screaming himself to sleep after he had hysterics on being extracted from the bath. Honestly, I thought he was going to choke himself, he was yelling and coughing and crying in such confusion. Poor child, just too tired for words.

I know how he feels - much better run up today, although I had to take a scenic tour through Emley, it still took only just over an hour. Long day hunting down elusive bugs, then longer drive home hunting down elusive empty roads. However, in good news, my new router arrived from Amazon today, so I’m hoping that I can get it configured at work tomorrow, and then fit in some work from home time, cutting down on the driving.

Right, I have tv to catch up on, tea to drink, emails to deal with, and a blogring to rebrand

on nano

and blogging.

Came home early Monday as wasn’t feeling well, don’t think I already blogged that? Yesterday had horrendous trip up as M1 closed - nearly two hours door to door and then sad children at school, I think because of the journey more than anything else. They certainly seemed to have a good day once they were there.

So last night we stopped off the path, which was lovely. Small fell asleep on the living room floor while the adults read and listened to music, which was wonderfully companionable in a way that television isn’t. Food for thought there (she says, tapping away with Lost in the background :-/)

‘nother day today, which the children seem to have very much enjoyed as they didn’t want to come home with me when I got there! Small fell asleep in the car and slept through being got ready and placed in bed, I have cute photos to blog at the weekend.

Off to bed now - very very tired.

Or should that be away with women?

is passworded purely because it’s got names and identifying type stuff in it. If I haven’t sent a password (bunged together an email to ppl who I could, off the top of my head, remember as commenting recently!) and you want one, feel free to comment here or mail me direct.