would be better left unblogged, but that would be being a wuss 
I’ve got two weeks before I start work. Unsurprisingly, I have huge amounts to do in that time, in terms of bits of work for ppl, paperwork, decluttering and general preparation (childcare kind of springs to mind). I also want to savour my last couple of free weeks with the children.
So obviously yesterday was terrible. I got next to nothing done, and Big had a severe attitude problem that meant I didn’t dare risk leaving the house, even though one of the multitude of things I needed to do was go to the post and the library. Hm. The only thing we managed to do between us was her recorder lesson and even that was less than successful as she rowed with me about the names of the tunes and so on. I know I should let it go, but I find that incredibly difficult to do. We didn’t even manage to read a whole chapter of Ballet shoes at bath time, although she did take her maths workbook to bed with her again.
Hohum. 1 day down, 9 to go. (I refer to weekdays rather than weekends, as I’ll still get them).
Today has been hectic. Started with mother picking Big up to take her out for a haircut, so I’d finally got around to taking her hairwrap out. Only took about 40 minutes, it really did not want to come out at all. It did rather need to though. Shortly after mother left, leaving Small in tears, the SALT turned up, and set to playing games with him which was good. Then Sarah arrived with her two, to remove a bed. SALT left, having timetabled a session with Tim, and Sarah reappeared to have lunch.
Big arrived shortly after and had a quick lunch, while mother had a quick cuppa, then Sarah carted the elder two off to see Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. The smalls have trashed the living room three times now, but get along pretty well. They both looked like they were about to pass out earlier, so we went for a walk to the post office, and now they are vegging to Pablo while I catch up online and send snooty emails to ppl whose newsletter management software is obviously malfunctioning. I do not need 7 copies, although the fact that the newsletter is entitled double take does make it slightly amusing…
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Yesterday was a complete waste here and I really should not have got out of bed. Got nothing done, it rained all day the children were fed up and at the end when I finally got around to bloggig the past 4 days I closed the window before saving or publishing it. I just walked down the stairs swearing and got a very large drink.
Hope today has been better for you
hugs, commiserations, general swearing at crapness.
i found the more keen I was to make each last day special the more I was likely to fail, as my expectations couldn’t be acheived. So i just pretended we had each day like that forever.
what can i say, i’m still crying, hope you manage things better.
Each day like this forever. I guess what is really pissing me off is that I feel I’ve wasted rather too many of my days like this on worrying about money and the future when I should have been seizing the day and just enjoying it. Or something.
(((Helen))) we can but try.
http://petitsharicots.org.uk/weblog/?p=255
Still says it all for me
more constructively, Big almost certainly feeling your concerns and reacting. keeping roughly to routine and mostly chilling helped us - mind you, you have the wedding!
can ring me for working home ed mum support group. i find when i’m desperate for peace when i walk in, i let sb give me short version of day and chose book for me to read - gives my head a chance to not spin while also feeding bb, as sb is overexcited in a bouncy tigger way.
thats my only tips i think!
more hugs, commiserations and deep understanding
jax you have s eized the day, you have nothing to regret about what you have done, life has to happen as well. unfortunately, life involves tough decisions, where doing whats best for the family unit might not be whats best for you.
i never imagined quite so unhappy i would be [or i'd have trained as gp]but think conscious resistance to letting work take over helps [though i am bad at it]
i would encourage a lunchtime quiet zone for a later bedtime, SB now has a later rise and goes to bed at 8.30-ish, so as i get home 6.30ish we have an hour of play, tea together, bath and bed. it feels a bit like scraps from the table at times for sb time, but i try and make my full days at home my time. Also with power of veto over any activity that happens in my off time.
i guess best advice is make yourself v popular and highy thougt of so they have good incentive to keep you sweet in 6 months when you go for flexible working
I worked full time for a fair while when Hannah was three, as Bob was redundant, and I won’t pretend i didn’t hate it, as it involved the same commuting I do now, but every day, but it’s survivable. Painful, but survivable. I decided that I could *not* plan their days for them - he was the one there, and he needed to get on with it. otherwise, no matter how nice a time they’d had, it failed, as I wasn’t what *I* had wanted them to do. And I think that six months is what contributed to Hannah being so sporty now, as he had her out swimming, cycling and goodness knows what else every day. I also had to try not to spend the weekends making up for not being at home - what she actually needed was normality, not me trying to turn every day into a holiday to make me feel better. Not that I’m saying you would do that - but i was certainly tempted too. I would also say if you can afford it at all, to get some help in the house. I had someone for three hours a week on Friday afternoon, plus I sent the ironing out, and it really took the stress off both of us. Bob felt able to do the three main things that mattered - ie look after Hannah, cook resonable meals, and job hunt for about 2-3 hours a day, and I didn’t feel obliged to do anything other then hang out with them at the weekends. As for work, if you can negotiate it at all, compressed hours are really worthwhile - anything to have either a half days, or better still a four day week, with full time hours. I really hope you can work it out. No chance of you all buggering off in the tent for a week before you start, to have a bit of a break?
Kids didn’t fall asleep in car on way home, Mimi asleep in your bed! Dino raving about the cinema and asking can we go again.
I call that a good result.
eminently sensible joyce. would love a cleaner
Did you choose a new recorder yet? Nice Yamaha pink ones on ebay at the moment!
Thanks for the advice Joyce, was wondering what your take on all of this was.
Can’t bugger off in a tent, this weekend is *the* wedding (must finish my shrug. Must find my shrug…
Cleaner, now there’s an idea. Are there ppl you can employ to tidy?
Oh, and Stella, yes I was looking at those recorders…
Hi
((((Jax))) this sounds like a massive thing love,and you know massive things feel massive,I have no specific words of wisdom,but,you will find a way through,it will just be new.
We have had a terrible year,and have just spent the last few hours letting our selves off the hook a bit….something I don’t find that easy!!
Take care…thinking of you.
Have written at least three comments and deleted all of them as none of them said what I wanted to or would have been of any value to you either.
All I will do is second Joyce’s advice about staying ‘normal’ and not trying to overcomensate. It’s like when you have a new baby and spent ages trying to get back to ‘normal’ only to realise that actually that normal will never be coming back and you better start getting used to what you have now as actually that is ‘normal’. Hope you find your normal as quickly and as successfully as possible. And hope the plus side of being a working mother (cos I firmly believe there are many pros to it) outweighs the inevitable down sides xx
“Bob was redundant” Oi, Joyce, NO!
Bob’s job was redundant. Bob was not.
Sorry, red mist time there.
I agree with Nic (and haven’t really known what to say, either).
Hugs to you (((Jax))) and thinking about you. Sending ‘everything go smoothly for Jax’ vibes too xx
LOL. I missed out the “made”. Though Bob would frequently argue that he *is* redundant.
Tidy - yes you can get people to do a one off tidy, and then a regular clean. You have to be there for the tidy part, as they do it with you, and don’t want to dump anything you really want to keep, and if its a major de-clutter, it’s not cheap - £30-£50 a hour, i think (never needed them myself LOL), with a minimum of four hours. But after that, cleaners don’t cost anything like that.
Hey - de-clutterer - my new career?
Perhaps Bob regards himself, as I do, as decorative rather than useful. I could only be redundant if there were at least two of me.
I’m seriously considering hiring a declutterer, at some point when (if?) I have any money! Hugs, Jax - it’s all difficult! Working/not working … none of it is perfect.
Yes, I can highly recommend having a cleaner. Just choose one without brilliant children
I find the fact that she does most of the cleaning spurs me on to tidy up the bits she has left, and she’ll pile up clutter into one pile which is easier to deal with.