Comments on: On the outside looking in.

By: Jan

Jan — Fri, 23 Jul 2004 20:04:01 +0000

So sorry Jax. Anyway I think of West Yorkshire as ’round here’ since I actually live just where you were brought up.

By: jax

jax — Fri, 23 Jul 2004 11:17:19 +0000

I am so not from round here! Durham born and bred, *west* yorkshire brought up…I don’t sound like the natives! lol

By: jan

jan — Fri, 23 Jul 2004 10:59:28 +0000

Not sure about MoodlePoodle, since Jax is the only native speaker. Kirsty, Barbara, Sarah and I are not from round here!

By: Tim

Tim — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 23:15:17 +0000

The needs of the one outweigh the needs of the (small) many! So Moodlepoodle (”oo” pronounced to rhyme with good) South Yorkshire then.

Listened in to a fascinating phone conversation comprised of the mutual adoration society of my father and dd the other day. She was explaining to him about the “dooks” on the campsite at Lowestoft. He hadn’t a clue what she was talking about.

By: Alison

Alison — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:48:17 +0000

Yeah, I’m sure you’re not alone. There’s no point going along to a group that is so stressy - you are just going to have to sort out your northern muddlepuddle group and recruit all the malcontents

By: Jonathan

Jonathan — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:29:22 +0000

Re. comment 9 (by Jax)

Are they aware of how you think on these matters? If not, maybe you’re not alone and others there also need to de-closet?

By: jax

jax — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 22:15:09 +0000

I am aware that I see more potential risk than most, and that’s my problem, not anyone else’s. But I can’t allow Big to have the freedom I would like to at the group as she is in danger of being injured (many of the children go to the woodcraft group that we’ve stopped going to, and she *was* hurt there) by children who aren’t thinking about what effect their actions might have on others. I think that’s what really bothers me - not that the child on top of the chairs might fall off, but that the small and not nearly as responsible child underneath could get squashed, and the older children don’t seem to be looking out for them at all. In fact, I know that they aren’t looking out for other children, there was an incident at the sportsday involving the tug of war rope, and children not stopping even when a younger child shouted at them to. One of the other mothers gave a bit of a talk about it, but it was such a quiet and restrained remark that she made, that I suspect it just won’t have registered at all.

so I *think* that it is more the lack of any kind of group responsibility that is getting me down, and I’m fairly sure that that is not something which is going to improve in that group any time soon. I know that it doesn’t have to be like that - when we used to meet up at JFK the older kids looked out for the younger kids, it was one of the best bits about it, and one of the things that I like most about home ed.

By: Merry

Merry — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 21:35:54 +0000

Giggle… I don’t mind so long as i can’t see (as you may have noticed!) I prefer not to look at HESFES but slightly lost the plot over the Ammi up the climbing frame thing, mainly because she kept throwing a strop once she was stuck! I did manage a remarkable attack of “fine, you’ve proved you can do it, i’m going to read on the bed”-ness over Ammi and the loft ladder though.

Thats a heights thing, i HATE heights, i hate ladders, i hate hate hate climbing frames without safety harnessess and safety nets… better not to look!!!

By: Alison

Alison — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 21:02:36 +0000

Jax, I really don’t get the chair scenario - yes, don’t let Big and Small play there if you don’t like it, but does it matter what the others are doing? If the other parents aren’t bothered about the apparent risk to *their* children, why get yourself upset by it? Or do you feel that they’re just *ignoring* what their children are doing, and not even considering any potential risk?

I figure my responsibility is to my children, not other people’s (assuming they have a parent around). C and I have expectations of bahaviour - e.g. when we’re at a restaurant we expect the kids to behave themselves nicely - but I also aim to allow as much autonomy as is possible in a 6-person family.

I would no more expect someone to tell my child to stop what they were doing because it’s dangerous than I would expect them to come in my house and brush my children’s hair! I remember feeling completely outraged once at our HE group when Elijah, aged about Small’s age, was sitting on my lap, hacking at the end of a loaf of bread with a small but sharp knife, and the woman sitting next to me took it off him.

It’s hard to debate this, because it’s so much based on quite deep personal feelings - I can’t change the fact that Poppy climbing in and out of their bedroom window *doesn’t* give me palpitations, and I don’t suppose you can change the fact that you’d have 999 ready on the phone …..

By: Nic

Nic — Thu, 22 Jul 2004 20:47:39 +0000

deep comments section eh? well unlike Jax I have to confess to tending not to worry about other children unless they are affecting me or mine. however i am in almost total agreement with everything Tim and Chris said. i believe it is my responsibility as a parent to raise children who are polite, have social skills, know how to behave and moderate and change their behaviour according to their surroundings and companions, are aware of the concept of rules and how to obey them and face consequences if they don’t. I believe that is my responisbility to society as a whole, to myself and chiefly to my children as they are skills I believe are imperitve in liefe.