Making it up

when I accidentally killed the blogring this afternoon!

Sorry all. I could go into a long involved technical explanation, but I won’t bore you with it. I was trying to fix it, honest!

I’ve spent far too much time on the computer today - the only plus point in my defense is that at least I’m in the living room with the children now. And dd did a tiny bit more work with me, and I did play with them, and we read books, and I cooked tea (ok, so it was baked potatoes, but at least it wasn’t frozen food again!)

Ds had yet another bad night - I’ve tried to get more food into him today, and as he seems kind of restless now, I might drag him back downstairs and feed him supper. Right after I feed myself supper.

although I didn’t make any real effort!

Tried to involve dd in doing some work for me, which seemed to go down really well. Look out for websites with her backgrounds on, coming to a computer near you soon!

Then working again this evening - concentrating so hard didn’t get around to blogging!

Ds very hungry again during the night, feel that I really need to get more food into him, but not sure how to do that as he refuses most of what is offered.

Cracking on with some work again this morning, and dd is amusing herself in her cinderalla dress making pictures. Ds is very frustrated - he’s cracked standing up against things, but really wants to be able to move, and he’s just so *cross* that he can’t! He’s started handing things to me when asked, which is a good step I think.

got to go hang the washing out in the bathroom, but apart from that did get my chores done.

Got some work done tonight, but not as much as I’d wanted to. Think I’ll have to do some during the day tomorrow, unfortunately. Perhaps will have to do a trade with dd - I get to work morning, she chooses afternoon activity. Hm, dunno whether that is such a good idea…still, we shall see.

I thought I might get some peace and quiet there. But there are roadworks or something going on, so no.

However I have a cherished 2 hours just now with only one child, dp has taken dd to Woodcraft folk tonight. So my plan is to sort out the table, do some washing, do the washing up and bath ds - taking bets on how much of that I get done? (Rather more if I switch the computer off!)

We’ve been to home ed group this morning - the session was on mind maps, which appeared to tootle over dd’s head, right up til she did one, when it all seemed to suddenly sink in. There were also several tantrums - mainly around the sock issue. I’d brought her out in wellies, as it is a bit muddy out and about, and the thicker socks she wears under them wrinkle. That is a catastrophe, and can reduce her to hysterics - but how come it’s always just as ds has bumped his head, or needs feeding or some such?

Anyway, off to do some of my chores….see you all later no doubt.

our potato bucket

my atcs

Tried to get a bit of paperwork done this morning, well, finally managed to fill in the latest batch of stuff for the solicitors for the car accident from last year, then could I find an envelope? Could I ….insert rude word of your choice here….. And dd decided that she would hinder my efforts despite the fact I’d explained that I was going to do paperwork, then we’d have lunch, then we’d go out. Hadn’t mentioned to her that the Nick Jr live show was on, but fully intended going to see it. Didn’t dare mention it as knew she would lose it completely. Anyway, managed to fill in forms for Nectar card, rang to order water butt trial kit from Severn Trent offer (tried to find a link, but there doesn’t seem to be one ), and that was about it.

Lunch, and then I really started to lose it. Dd was being rude and a pest, and just trying to do things like getting bags together and change ds’ nappy and so on and I was starting to fume. Got out of the house eventually, but too late for the show I’d intended us to make at 2pm. From what I can gather, must have missed Kirsty by minutes!

Pottered around and found the various bits I was looking for, plus a bargain of cheap bubble envelopes in the pound shop. So if I ever unpack the 500 books from the dining room for selling, I’ve got some packaging…

Watched the Nick Jr show, really displeased with the way Kevin (the *real* Kevin!) talked down to the kids. All this stuff I’m reading online keeps making me think about how we relate with our children - I mean, if someone asked you to tell them when you saw something, so you did, then they ignored you, so you told them again, then they told you point blank that you should have told them - would you hang around to talk with them further? so why is it funny to do to a group of kids? (Yeah, I know, I’m a real hoot at pantos too.)

Anyway, dd loved it. Then we had a paddy - I’d explained beforehand that we had time for either playing or the show, and she wanted the show. Immediately after, she wanted to play. But we didn’t have time. So we got foot stamping, tears, yelling, the lot. And given that I’d just sat through 45 minutes of quality nick jr entertainment I wasn’t in the mood to listen. Plus I’d bought too much and was having to carry ds who was insisting on trying to push the buggy to help, so my back was killing me too…executive decision was made and it was if she was still carrying on by the time we got to the car to drop the shopping off, we would not come back in for tea, we would go home. And that would mean we wouldn’t make it to the bookshop, and I wouldn’t get to pay my cheques in, and I would be cross.

The problem is, I don’t think she sees enough of me happy to be able to differentiate between cross. I think I’m boring to her, and she winds me up for entertainment purposes. Despite knowing this, I’m finding it really hard to be cheerful with her, so I’m on a bit of a losing wicket.

Anyway, she pulled it together and so I made it to the bank, and we made it to the bookshop. We’ve been forgetting to bring in her book tokens since January so I was quite pleased I’d managed to remember them today. She chose Not now, Bernard, Alice in Wonderland, and Dr Seuss Book of sleep, so that was quite nice. Then McDs and home.

Just as she was getting out of the bath the phone rang, with a possible job offer for dp, so I sent him off to call the chap bath and took over the dd. Turned out to be a great idea - I brushed her hair and then we read Not now Bernard - she did that bit throughout, and she seemed to be really enjoying it. And we finished the day with a nice hug.

Ds notable achievements of the day - being gorgeous, taking first assisted steps, and then repeating the feat for daddy, and being in bed now!

and lots of work to do, but no motivation. I can feel my eyelids drooping as I type.

Let’s see. We had intended a morning in the garden, and then popping over to see friends this afternoon to garden there. Unfortunately, carting ds (poor underweight waif that he is!) around in a sling yesterday and then putting up the gazebo with just the assistance of a four year old appears to have done for my lower back, so I didn’t fancy digging. What I did do was go and get the secateurs out, and chop as many of the brambles around the garage as I could. Remarkably therapeutic destroying stuff I discovered - I was at it about 40 minutes, and I have cleared a good space.

Then though, the sky darkened, and while I was out raking the chopped stuff away, the thunder started. So I dragged the washing in, and we replanned - friends came here as we have slightly more floor space for smalls to crawl about. Or nearly walk - Sarah’s small is very close to launching herself, and watching ds watching her, I don’t think he’ll be far behind. Dd got to play in her bedroom all afternoon with the other larger, and that seemed to go extremely well.

We did a bit more on our ATCs before our guests arrived, and I finished my first set of four. I’m not entirely pleased with them, but I am quite impressed that I’ve done some, so I guess I’ve just to keep plodding now. Also discovered that Ruth managed to pick up one of the end of the story books, so I might get to have a look at it after all - had sent extremely terse email to their website after discovering that the books are being flogged on Ebay!

Right, must do a little work, and then off to bed. Small is up there already, for the third night running! I’m going to have to start putting him into his night nappy at eight o clock at this rate…

Just wanted to add that dp also got his new telescope out last night. Now don’t laugh at me too hard, but I’m ignorant about these things. He’d primed me that it wouldn’t be all that good, so I’d just assumed that tiny crescent moon was going to be slightly larger crescent moon….but you could see the craters! Fabulous…was so close to going and dragging dd out of bed to have a look!

Sure there were other things I wanted to add, but I’ve forgotten them all now.

According to our inside/ outside weather station, it peaked at just over 27 degrees centigrade today. Was certainly very hot.

We started the day by popping out to spend more money Morrison were still doing air beds, so I’ve now got a single and double airbed for our hols. They also had a deal on camp chairs - two for £10, so we got the last two. Result! Big W was not nearly so exciting - although I did get my paper trimmer so that I can do my ATC preparation. We went out for tablecloths and things, and we didn’t get any of those. Might pop to Dunelm mill stores at some point, if I can fit it in.

Back home, lunch and into the garden. Very hot out there - so I thought it would be a good idea to put up the gazebo. One hour later - they are *much* easier to put up if you have two adults. (Dp had gone for a nap.) However, successful in the end. Rang the parents and asked if they wanted to come round, they said they would. Grandad said that he had a map for dd - had been ordered for the office, but were slightly faulty, and had never been picked up by the company, so when they had thrown them out, a couple mysteriously found their way into various ppl’s cars - he told them he had a granddaughter who would love it. I expected something largish and maybe laminated - what we’ve actually got is like this only better, as it’s got flags on as well! Brilliant.

Right, had loads more to say, but too tired to type straight, so off to bed now and will finish this in the morning.

managed to finish sorting out the living room, including putting up table and chairs. In the process found the camera lead, so will be posting piccies at some point soon!

This afternoon, Chrisand Alison popped in on their way back from meeting their camper van. Was nice (lol) to meet Chris in the flesh - not at all how I’d pictured him (although I knew roughly what he looked like from blogshots!). Funny, I think we all forget how difficult it is to get to know each other solely through the written word - there is no intonation, no expression - you can’t tell if someone is shy, terse, offhand, flippant - they can all come across very similarly. Dd had got some mats out that we’ve had under the sofa since she learned not to land head down on the floor, and her and Chris experimented with forward rolls. By the end of the session, she had it well cracked - and was so proud of herself, it was great to see.

Alison and I chatted about Hesfes - I’m looking forward to it, in a quietly intimidated way. Perked up at the news that it might be possible to get online while I’m there though - that would be great. We could group blog! Dp and Chris had a bit of a chat, and generally, I thoroughly enjoyed the visit. I know I’m not good with ppl, so I always feel a bit tense when ppl I don’t know overly well IRL come over, but I felt very comfortable while they were here so that relaxed me a bit more about the impending camping expeditions as well.

And ds bounced around the garden in a very boyish kind of way - quite surprised when he had a game of roll the ball to me - don’t remember dd doing that sort of thing at his age. Mind, the only thing that I can place really well for her is when she walked - I know that we bought her first pair of shoes on December 1st, before her first birthday in January, and that was because she was going to nursery and playing outside. I like children to be barefoot, but not in winter in a playground! Exploring little leather pull ons for ds - even got him measured and tried on Clarks crawling shoes (boo hiss) but they just fall off his feet - no good at all. No problems length wise - he’s a three and a half apparently - but his heels are very narrow.

The bouncing round the garden must have done him good - he was falling asleep in his tea, went down in his (bedside) cot just after 8 and is still there. I’m a touch bewildered to say the least, but it’s very refreshing having a bit of adult space - we’ve even had a beer! (Just the one, between us, don’t want to get carried away). Right off to catch up with the blogring - couldn’t get my laptop out last night due to the room reorg, so didn’t get round properly last night or this morning…I’m getting withdrawal!

been a busy couple of days - there’s a surprise!

But I feel that I’ve been very productive, so that is good.

Friday

Let’s see - can I remember?? Oh yes, started the day by running around like a lunatic trying to clear the living room to generate sufficient space for the new table. Failed dismally in that we also had to be at a photo studio for 11am - arrived at the studio at 11.03 (very impressed with self) to discover that they had done the thing where they give out three appts at the same time assuming that some ppl won’t show. And they all did. 35 minutes later I pointed out that I’d only put 40 minutes on the car and that I’d better move it. Grrr.

We were there as we’d *won* a portrait in a draw at a craft fair (the Thomas day we were at a couple of weeks ago). I know that it’s a marketing ploy, and wasn’t overly surprised when the photographer took 5 different poses of my adorable offspring ;-), but it is going to be so difficult not buying them….sigh…really irritating as my sisters fiancee is a professional photographer, and really good at it, but we aren’t on friendly terms (not on unfriendly terms, don’t get me wrong, just not close).

Anyway, finished up there by 12, and went over to an out of town shopping centre to meet up with Kirsty Turned out the shopping centre has been quite seriously upgraded since I was last there - which must be over a year ago, as I haven’t taken Small I don’t think. Also turned out to be an expensive upgrade - there was a Mountain Warehouse shop which did children’s hiking boots…so that’s dd sorted out for camp then! Just as well, as the Clarks factory shop didn’t have anything sensible in her size.

After we’d also spent ludicrous amounts of money in a toy shop (though half of rrp) we tootled off to Kirsty’s house and had a lovely time, playing out in the garden, and then we stopped for tea. Lovely. Home, bath and bed.

Feels like we’re on a bit of a frantic treadmill at the moment - all my own fault I’m aware, but I’m finding it rather difficult to work out my priorities. Today I hauled ds out of bed before 9 (in the hope that I’m going to tire him out before 1 am!), got a load of washing through and hung out, another one in the machine, three of us dressed, two of us fed, ds nappy changed - and suddenly it was 12 o’clock and my plan to get to Ikea early had gone somewhat astray

But we went anyway. Had a good look around the dining section, as we were going for a dining table, then went and road tested one of the cafeteria tables That took a looooong time, as ds just didn’t seem interested in food in the slightest. By contrast, dd ate all her food and half of his Also found the scales that I wanted to buy and a really big pack of tupperware style containers, so that was good. Getting the table I wanted was not so good - Ikea is rearranging its warehouse. Not impressed - couldn’t they put a big sign on the front door warning you that nothing is where it is supposed to be, so allow an extra 20 minutes to find anything? Grr…. dp arrived to pick up the table with me just as I’d managed to find it - but my phone cut out when he called, and then I couldn’t get a signal! Double grr….

So unimpressed - I like the choice of stuff there, but quite a lot of it is nowhere near as good as it looks to begin with - and I forgot to look for the boxes of percussion instruments at toy level - was thinking about getting some for ds as he really seems to love music, and I’d like to follow that up for him. Anyways…made it to dd’s ballet lesson by the skin of our collective teeth. Ds not at all happy to have to sit on my knee for 45 minutes - but there are far too many ppl around to let him crawl about for long. There was another baby there, and he wanted to touch her head - hadn’t realised how young that reflex kicks in.

Now, got a lot of rearranging to do in here to try to fit the table in, so I’d better stop waffling on and get on with it.

spluttering at the tv at the moment - bizarre debate on education on BBC4. Failing the future its called, and it’s the biggest pile of codswallop I’ve come across in a long time. Grr….

I was brave again, and made it to the more southerly home ed meet. Situated in a lovely renovated chapel, tucked away just on the edge of town, and *much* easier to get to than driving into the city like I had to yesterday! Dd clicked straight away and I barely say her - she surprised me by making friends with a young boy (appeared slightly older than her, but I find ages difficult to tell) and she was away. It’s a varied group - oldest there seemed to be about 12, youngest was Small , couple of familiar faces from Woodcraft folk, so I didn’t feel completely at sea. Did begin to flag towards the end though - the sleep issue rearing its head again. Nevertheless, I volunteered to do an activity in a few weeks time (thought I’d do ATCs, so I’d better get my skates on with them!), and chatted with a number of parents about a variety of things.

Afternoon - I went to bed!

Evening - woodcraft folk. Dd had a wonderful time painting art straws for next weeks activity. Small had great fun playing with one of his biggest fans - someone who had spotted his piccie in the paper!

Home and bed. It’s a long day for dd, and she managed it well. Still struggling with whether there is anything educational as such going on here - but at least no one can complain that she isn’t getting chance to socialise.

*Finally* made it to the local home ed meet - been intending to go since I started maternity leave last May! Lovely afternoon - lots of familiar faces like Kirsty and Barbara. Dd got stuck in - didn’t see her much except in passing for the whole afternoon! Meant that I got to sit and chat in the sunshine, which was rather good. Ds was rather subdued - tired perhaps?

Dd had made a card for a friends birthday, completely independently, and it went down very well. And if 100EL has nothing else to contribute, at least we get ’s’ the right way round now!

Went on to finally drop off my pass off at my exwork - very odd being there. Sort of expected to feel a few pangs for the old place, and actually felt none. Stood in the middle of a corporate office with a child in a sling, and another one under the desk, and didn’t hanker after my old life at all. My ex boss wanted to know when I’m going to put my cv in for contract work - and I might have to do that at some point, depending on finances - but I didn’t feel any urgency to get around to it.

Celebrated my new found sense of liberation by going to Waterstones and being told they’ve sold out of End of the Story books (I thought it was supposed to be free?) and then going on to a large shopping mall and eating in McDs. Ah well, at least they do quorn sandwiches now - which was a bit over chillied but otherwise quite pleasant.

Late home, so we didn’t get to do our FIAR tonight, and we’re off to another home ed meet in the morning. It’s all go!

and we had friends come round to visit. Early on I told the two four year olds (or thereabouts) that I wasnt going to play referee, so if they had any difficulties, they needed to sort it out between themselves. Turned out that that was a really smart move, as they suddenly discovered all these negotiation skills previously unseen by any parent, and apart from one small scuffle over bed bouncing, we didn’t have any whining or wailing.

Which meant that the adults could chat, and the smalls could roll around (or try to stand up, depending). We even got on with some digging - the mound is slowly disappearing. Once the friends all went home, I did some more digging and we watered all the seeds, while Small and Larger played in the garden.

Also managed to get the washing done, and while ds had a nap, dd and I did our first ever FIAR session - Mirette on the High Wire. Mainly we talked about feelings - looked at the pictures and decided what ppl were feeling in them. She also noticed that there were some places mentioned that she’s had postcards from as well, so I think I’ll follow up on that in further readings.

Now if I could just get Small to act tired it really would be a pretty good day.

Ds had a really bad night, and being somewhat sleep deprived, it was very late in the proceedings before I figured out that he was probably cold - we’d accidentally left the windows open a crack and consequently there was a draft blowing across the bed. Anyway, solved that problem, but it did mean that I slept in rather. That always sets me up badly for the day.

Numerous disagreements with dd today - probably at least partly related to my exhaustion. Started off with her being lovely this morning, cuddly and friendly - she even turned off the tv when I came down so that I could have some quiet time. Really impressed by this - right up til the point I went to put a cd on, and discovered that it was all just a strategy to get to watch Barbie as Rapunzel again. Now I don’t mind her wanting to watch it, but I would rather that she told me so, instead of trying to butter me up to get her own way. So we had a bit of a disagreement over that, and she didn’t get to watch it til after lunch.

Before lunch though, I talked to her about reading, again. Explained how 100 EL works, showed her how many lessons we need to do to get to reading words and sentences, promised to draw up a chart so that we can keep track of how we’re progressing, started a lesson and gave up in minutes when she just messed around throughout.

After Barbie, managed to get ds down for a nap, and somehow found the will power to leave him upstairs and come back down myself, with it in mind to spend some time with dd doing some more on our ATCs. We did a couple which turned out quite nicely, then I thought I really ought to let dd do it herself, so went to grab the library books I’d got out the other day to see if there were any other ideas we could use in there, and dd switched off completely. It would appear that if we are doing something together then I have to be sitting there actually doing each one with her - which was not my idea of how it would work at all - part of me is worried that I am inhibiting her creativity if I do it all with her, and another part of me quite frankly resents sitting waiting while she plays with glue and sticky paper. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this a natural reaction when I’ve got a million other things that I feel I should be doing as well? It is working better having the computer turned off during the day, but that means there is kind of more pressure on me to succeed with dd, and at the moment I’m not.

So I gave up the whole thing and went to have a nap with ds. Who woke up after only an hour and proceeded to fill his nappy. Lovely.

While I was asleep my parents rang to say they would like to come round - dp told them I was sleeping, so they said they would go to their brothers first and come on after. So dp and I were running round like headless chickens trying to both shower and dress while supervising small ppl, changing nappies and sorting out tea, and come 6.30, still no sign of grandparents, and dd starting to get a bit anxious to say the least. So I called them, and turns out they were eating at their brothers, intending to come on to us when they were finished. Given that they are very well aware that dd goes to bed at 7.30, I was a little surprised by this, but sure enough, they turned up at 7 o’clock. Dd was beside herself by this time. It was also the first time that ds had shown any real interest in them - quite amusing watching the two children vying for Grandma’s attention. We also discovered that ds likes to dance - to his Bear in the Big Blue House musical book.

I really wish he liked sleeping though. I’ve just come back downstairs after trying to take him to bed, and having him just bounce around like a mad thing. I’m so tired that the words aren’t staying very still on the page in front of me, and I could just cry, but he is just lying on the floor playing really happily and chatting to his toys.

Gonna make myself a hot chocolate and then try again I think.

Second time of trying - accidentally closed the wrong browser window part way through posting. D’oh.

Where was I?

Cross with the neighbours for lighting a fire while my washing was out.

Amazed at time taken to plant up seed trays while assisted by four year old. (Seeds should have been planted in the garden, but unless I dig up the lawn there isn’t currently any garden to plant them in. So I thought I’d shove them in the trays, which gives me a week or so to dig out the mound, and then I’ll see if I can transfer any seedlings out into the garden itself. I’m sure there are loads of reasons that a gardener could give me as to why this isn’t a good plan, but it was the best I could come up with).

Dd was watching her dvd this morning, and lost it completely when I asked her to put her pjs away and stopped the dvd - screamed at me and hit me. We went up and had a long chat in her bedroom, and apparently this is because she wants to be learning things (not quite sure I see the connection, but still). I stopped the daily reading lessons when she faked illness to get out of a session (!) but she says she does want to learn to read, so we discussed starting them up again. The other thing is that I think she has some idea of learning as being a specific activity that I am supposed to lay on for her, and so she isn’t doing anything for herself. Dp and I discussed the reading thing while dd zoned out again on Barbie as Rapunzel (*sigh*) and we’re a bit stumped. I think I’m going to try 100EL again, but I’m going to look through the book with dd and show her which lesson involves actual real words, and then we’ll put a chart up and tick off lessons as we go so that she can see that she is making progress. I don’t like charts generally, but I can’t really think of another way around this one.

Dp went out with dd this afternoon and came back with a telescope, Model #78-9512 to be precise. So that might lead down some interesting paths. Ds had a nice long nap while they were out, so I enjoyed the somewhat unusual experience of about an hour on my own.

Dd and I cooked tea together and made risotto, which ds loved and ate his entire portion, and she decided she didn’t like and left. I’d hoped her being involved in the cooking would make her more likely to eat, but apparently not. And now it’s about time that I did some food for myself, so I’ll end here.

we togged up and went off to the library. I got some “resources”. I’d list them out, but ds is asleep on my lap, so I’m thinking of heading for bed.

We had a good afternoon though, and it would appear that the message has finally got through to dd - she didn’t run away once in the shopping centre. Made for a much more pleasant afternoon, for both of us. Bought some seed trays to plant some stuff up in the greenhouse - will be getting that done tomorrow.

New bedtime story tonight - Alice in Wonderland.

Ds just stood up for the first time!

And that is why I’m home with my kids - last time round, someone else got to see all the firsts…

off to remove all the breakables to at least 3 foot above ground level!